Virus Protection
by TheRoguePhilosopher
Summary: Picks up at the end of season 2: Delphine is in Germany, and knows that if she and Cosima are ever going to reconnect, they are going to have to outsmart DYAD. She has to believe that not only is Cosima still alive, but that she is missing Delphine enough to brush up on her hacking skills. Sometimes, the only way through an autoimmune disorder is through a well-planned virus.
1. Chapter 1

_**Hello, Clone Club! I thought I'd try my hand at an OB/Cophine fic, since this break between seasons is killing me. Rated "M" for future chaps. This is quite a bit of set up, next chap will have more. Will be a multi-chap, and I generally do not like to go long periods of time between my updates, just an FYI.**_

* * *

><p>Delphine deleted her fourth virus of the week, grateful that she had learned how to navigate the German banking system and postal system completely through hard copy after choosing to delete her anti-virus software just days before. After Rachel had all but kidnapped her across the Atlantic, she put her in a post where she was not even hired under her real name. As far as the DYAD was concerned, Delphine Cormier no longer existed.<p>

She knew she was being watched. She knew the apartment that DYAD Deutschland was generously providing had a tapped phone line, and who knows what other types of surveillance. The blonde had foolishly attempted to call Cosima from the landline once, where she could hear the clicking and occasional static on the line, before being told that the number was disconnected.

_Disconnected my backside_, she thought, slamming the receiver down. That was the day Delphine had started purchasing German cigarettes regularly. If Cosima couldn't breathe, she reasoned, she wouldn't either. Her DYAD prison guards were clearly already suffocating her.

Delphine hadn't been foolish enough to try on her cell phone. Her phone and laptop disappeared with one of her three-piece suited prison guards during the ride on the company jet, undoubtedly to be modified to block contacting Cosima. After the landline incident, she went to a store and picked up the cheapest cell phone possible and an international calling card.

By the time she got outside with it, unpackaged it, put in the programming features and began dialing the numbers on the calling card, they had managed to block both Cosima and Felix's number. Not only did she not have Sarah's number memorized, but also it was deleted from her personal cell upon her arrival in her new, European prison. She called her home number to ensure the phone itself was working. She heard it ring through with no problem. She turned around and threw the phone violently into the nearest trashcan, trying not to have a complete breakdown and cry in the street.

Still, there _had_ to be a way. DYAD was powerful, but they couldn't control all modes of communication all the time, even if Delphine was being watched 24/7.

The Frenchwoman thought over her options. She had mailed out countless amounts of postcards and letters, having faith that at least putting something in the mail meant it was out of DYAD's reach. She refused to believe that Cosima and her sisters were non-responsive due to death; she had to believe that Cosima was still alive and that DYAD was running interference.

In two weeks at DYAD Deutschland, Delphine had already found that emails to Cosima were blocked from her personal computer and at work, phone calls were clearly not an option, and nothing was getting through the mail.

_Okay, Cosima, _She thought in her head one night halfway through a bottle of wine, _if I cannot get to you just yet, I'll have to make it so you can get to me_.

* * *

><p>Truth be told, Delphine knew she probably could have run away. She did have a bank account, which let her withdraw cash. She could have purchased a cash plane ticket, train ticket, <em>any<em> sort of ticket in the middle of the night and disappeared, eventually making her way back to Cosima. In fact, that was her original plan. After about a day in Munich, she had decided she would lie low long enough for DYAD to relax the surveillance, and then take off.

She wouldn't have to get all the way to Toronto in one shot, either. She would only have to get back to France, where any one of her old college friends would certainly take her in while planning her next move, or using family connections to eventually route back into Canada. She would pack light, and move quickly.

It was how she got to sleep those first few nights, imagining her escape route in her head, and her eventual reuniting with Cosima. She wondered if Cosima would be well enough to kiss her. She would picture in her head what to do if Cosima had a full breathing mask; how she would kiss everywhere she could without blocking any air passages. She loved how Cosima's skin felt under her lips, often choosing to kiss her forehead, then her cheeks, then the clone's soft chin, before ever working her way to her lips. She remembered how she loved the different kinds of softness between skin and lips, both Cosima yet so different. Then, she began imagining if Cosima were still breathing with just the nose tubes, enough for sweet kisses in between breaths. She hoped every night when she laid in bed that Felix was giving Cosima the bed, and not banishing her to the couch.

By her fifth night in Germany, she knew she would have to start making decisions about her sleepwear, as she had slept in the one shirt of Cosima's that she managed to keep and pack away with her every night. It was still soft and smelled like Cosima, having been worn by Cosima and tossed in with Delphine's things without having been washed. Delphine didn't want to wash it either, wrapping herself up in the shirt every night. She would claw her way out of Europe if she had to, if only to replace the scent of Cosima's shirt with the feel of Cosima herself.

She stopped her escape plans once she learned what she would be working on during her new life in Germany.

* * *

><p>"Yes. You do the –what's the word—artificial womb. Rachel tells us you worked with Leekie in Canada." The older woman in a lab coat said with a thick accent, English clearly not her second language, probably her third or forth, as she handed Delphine a file in her new lab. Her own lab, not shared. No one else at the new location seemed to have as much immunology experience as Delphine.<p>

"Yes, I worked with Dr. Leekie, but the artificial womb project was his own. I never saw it." Delphine answered, beginning to leaf through the papers in the unmarked file.

"We know that. Rachel's directions were clear: you develop a womb, or you look at the file and make the existing womb work. Whatever is faster." The woman wasted no time, not even bothering Delphine a chance to respond before taking her briefcase in haste and leaving.

Delphine went through the fairly extensive medical file, her eyes getting wider than she ever imagined possible.

_Of course Rachel doesn't want me working on clones anymore. She has me working on just her problem!_

* * *

><p>Two weeks after starting at the new DYAD, Delphine was determined to do her job. Not to help Rachel, she was almost tempted to have them inject a poison cocktail into her uterus for taking her away from Cosima. That was another "getting to sleep" fantasy Delphine had one night, before waking up ill rested and deciding that was not the type of brooding, dark, vengeful person she wanted to be. She wanted to be the person who got back to Cosima.<p>

After looking through Rachel's files, she realized just how little Rachel knew about science, and more specifically biology. In fact, clearly they had done the autopsy on Jennifer Fitzsimmons and Rachel never even read the report before putting her on a plane and sending her thousands of miles away.

If Rachel _had_ bothered to read any of what she and Cosima were starting to connect, she would have found that curing Cosima would _be the same_ as curing Rachel, and vice versa. Eliminate the uterus growths, eliminate the lung tumors.

Both problems were from the same autoimmune disorder programmed into the clone DNA by Ethan Duncan.

Delphine had been given the choice of working on the artificial womb or making the "subject's" womb viable. She knew the name of the patient in question had been blacked out as a formality, it was clearly Rachel. Rachel was the only clone obsessed with becoming pregnant. It was obvious to Delphine from the first page. Rachel, in her unbelievable rash idiocy both banished Delphine for no reason and gave her the ability to continue working on a real cure.

She chose to make the subject's womb viable.

She chose to keep working to save Cosima.

* * *

><p><em>Okay, Cosima,<em> _if I cannot get to you just yet, I'll have to make it so you can get to me_.

This is how Delphine ended up in front of her own computer instead of sneaking out with her pre-packed overnight bag off to France and eventually, a little artist's loft in Toronto's gay district.

She had made the decision to work on curing Cosima, even if it meant letting DYAD think it was to cure Rachel. But she had to know that Cosima was still breathing. She had to speak to her in some way.

She poured herself a glass of Merlot, taking a big healthy gulp. The days of pleasant sipping had long passed by. Delphine often now drank like someone was going to break in and take the bottle away, and had taken to talking to herself in English in the apartment. It made her feel like she was talking to Cosima again. She lit what felt like her hundredth cigarette of the day.

"If I were going to hack myself, what would need to happen?" She thought out loud.

That was when she deleted her anti-virus. She knew this would leave her system open to anyone wishing to get in.

Next she installed a Remote Desktop Client. Not necessarily conspicuous; lots of people need to sometimes enter their computers remotely. She was willing to bet not so many people put it on, making the password "password", hoping to get hacked.

_Alright, Mon Cherie, the channel is wide open_.

Next, she set about making everything about the computer scream "Delphine Cormier".

She opened her internet browser, clearing out her browser history. She had to load it up with things that would flag to Cosima that she was on the internet. She learned very quickly that there was no "eskimo pies homepage ", instead image searching for the treat. She found a larger picture of the exact treat Cosima had once shared with her, and made it her desktop image.

_Mon Dieu, this is so cheesy_, she thought, smiling simultaneously at the ridiculousness and at the same time, the way she had bitten into the melting treat, and how Cosima had generously leaned over, licking the cool drip from the corner of her mouth. From that point on, "Eskimo Pie" had been a bit of a code word between the two of them; it had even been how they previously had emailed back and forth while on the same continent.

Next, she went into her iTunes. She was shocked to see how many dozens of songs had the term "puppy" in the title. She made a new playlist, titling it, "chiot". She purchased some "puppy" related songs without even listening to them; she just needed Cosima to see it. Then she added to the list every song she and Cosima ever listened to, danced to, or talked about that she could think of. She added songs in French and English, songs about love, songs she had heard Cosima play in the background while doing work next to her. She put up everything she could think of that would be like waving giant French, American, and Canadian flags through music.

It was then she realized she could leave more than just a way for Cosima to identify who she was. She then opened a new playlist, titling it "New Music". She added a bunch of German language songs, hoping this would be out of character enough that Cosima would have to put two and two together and know where she was. She was in Munich, so she needed to indicate the south of Germany, adding every song where the word "south" was the first word of the title. She found a song called, "Munich" by The Fray, adding that to the mix.

It was at that point one o'clock in the morning. Delphine looked at the empty bottle and realized she now had to make a decision. She could save everything and go to sleep and get ready for work, or she could make a pot of coffee, and have one zombie day.

Delphine got up to start the coffee, always buying American at the little grocery store down the street, full well knowing she was paying twice what it was worth while it tasted like shit compared to what was available to her in Europe. It was grainy, too acidic, and not strong enough. It also reminded her of Cosima, making pot after pot while up in the middle of the night reading about Sacred Geometry or ancient Greek approaches to the science of the body. They often had conversations over that same, shitty coffee well into the sunrise. She reasoned being a little behind the next day would be well worth staying awake.

She sat back down to make one more playlist, trying to tell Cosima everything she could. She added, "I Kissed a Girl", "I Still Love You", "I Miss You", and finally, "Please Find Me".

She gulped from the hot cup, looking over her work. She thought maybe it was too much overkill, like Cosima would see it and think it was a DYAD trap. She thought about it for a few more minutes. Even if it was too over the top, she didn't need Cosima to believe it was her completely right away; she just needed her to see it.

She began adding immunology and microbiology articles, saving them individually to the desktop. She added papers that could broadly be connected to cloning, autoimmune disorders, anything she had read in the last two weeks that she would have shared with Cosima had she been still working with her in the lab. If she was still able to walk, she knew that Cosima would still be working on curing herself.

In a bold move, she uploaded the Fitzsimmons autopsy from her flash drive, thankful that DYAD hadn't wiped out any of her actual research. She figured Rachel would have purposefully left anything that could help her become fertile. She uploaded the file, bolding the conclusions so anyone reading it would know where Delphine was starting her own research in Germany.

"**In conclusion, the auto-immune disorder present in the dorsal portions of the lungs originated in the uterine walls. The uterus is the point of origination, with the spread to the lungs occurring later, but with growths of the same type and consistency." **

She sat back, finishing her coffee. It was now three in the morning. Delphine smiled, knowing that this would be the first night she wouldn't have to mentally trick herself to sleep. She would fall asleep knowing she had left the front and back doors wide open with a giant electronic welcome sign. Putting on the finishing touches, she took a picture of herself, hiding it in the photo file, titling the photo "324B21". She smirked, having a moment of pride at the scope of her midnight project.

_Come and find me, mon amour._


	2. Ms Communication

"Uugggh! She deleted me again!" Cosima threw her hands up in frustration.

"Maybe, Cosima, and I'm not saying we give up hope completely, but maybe it really isn't her." Alison said carefully, seeing how close Cosima was to throwing the laptop across the room. She had watched Cosima construct at least a dozen viruses programmed to open and say "It's me" and give a safe phone number, all to no avail.

It was Alison's turn to stay with Cosima. After her last seizure, nobody was comfortable with the scientist being completely alone for more than ten minutes at a time. With Felix and Sarah out for the day, that left Alison as Cosima's Sunday clonesitter. It was an arrangement that Cosima didn't even try to fight; she knew how dangerous it would be for her to pass out with nobody home.

She was just currently wishing it was Delphine by her side, as much as she had grown to love her sisters.

"It's _her_, Alison. I know her. I just don't understand why she would open up basically a girlfriend-hack highway only to block everything I try to send in!" Cosima was frustrated, but Alison was pleased to see how animated she was about it.

Cosima's condition seemed to go up and down by the day. Some days she didn't need external oxygen at all, hopping around the apartment like her old self, even going in to work in the lab makeshift lab they had constructed for her in the loft. Other days, she would barely move from the bed, sometimes not having the energy to get through a chapter of a book. Today appeared to be a high-energy Cosima day.

"I'm not trying to rain on your love parade, Cosima, but you said yourself when you first hacked in that it was too obvious. An ice cream picture? Maybe that was to lure you in. Maybe it's not even DYAD, Cosima. Ever think of that? Maybe it's a real hacker trying to get into _your_ system. Maybe they're hacking us right now! Maybe-"

"No. It's her." Cosima cut her off, her eyes flying wildly over the coding on the screen as she watched her latest attempt at a Trojan with a message and the ability to route back coordinates being erased before her eyes. "There are things on there, Alison, that nobody would know but us."

Alison decided at that point to pour herself a glass of orange juice in a champagne glass. If she couldn't have an actual mimosa, she could still have her virgin beverage with some class.

"What sort of things?" She asked, bringing a glass over for Cosima as well.

"It's not just the ice cream picture. I wouldn't even believe it if it were just that. Look at her iTunes." Cosima brought up the screenshot she had taken of it the first time they had found Delphine's computer.

"That could be anybody. Do you know how many people probably listen to music in French and English?" Alison kicked back her juice, swearing if she shot it down fast enough she could taste the hint of a memory of vodka.

"It's not just the languages. Look." She pointed to the second song on the list. "That song she listens to in the shower every morning. The next song she listens to while she's getting ready in the bathroom. Look at the play time. She always gets ready for work at six thirty in the morning. In her time zone, that's the last time the song was played."

"Right, if we're still going with the Germany playlist is correct then, and also, not a trap."

"This song," Cosima pointed farther down the list, "I used to play at the dinner table when one of us cooked and we ate on the tablecloth with candles. I wanted it to feel like an actual restaurant. Who else would know that?"

Cosima thought back to when they had started the home-restaurant relationship tradition. One night, Delphine confessed to missing the restaurant culture in France, where even casual dining establishments still put out proper cloth tablecloths. When she had walked in to Cosima at the table with the candle lit, waiting with a bouquet of flowers for no reason other than to be unbelievably sweet, Delphine hadn't given Cosima the time to even talk before smothering her with kisses. Cosima thought that was the first time she had truly seen Delphine's face light up. That was when Cosima knew she was in deep.

Alison raised her eyebrows at that. It was too much to be a coincidence.

"That one?" Alison pointed to another song.

"That song and the two under it were on my subway travel playlist. If we were riding the subway together, we'd each wear one ear bud and keep the iPod in the middle. _No one else_ would know this stuff, Alison!" Cosima was getting worked up. It was frustrating to no end that after finding the first hint of Delphine, it appeared that Delphine was blocking her from anything further.

"This song?" Alison asked, now looking more closely at the lists.

"That one…I'll just say it was on my sex playlist. I'll leave it at that." Cosima smiled, feeling a little cocky at that one. She didn't feel the need to divulge just how often that particular track had played on repeat.

Alison took over the touchpad, looking at the screenshots Cosima had taken of the mystery computer. Cosima was starting to get hyper. Delphine's computer didn't just remind her of Delphine, it reminded her of the life she wanted back. The subway rides, the dinners, the intimacy with the most gorgeous, caring woman she had ever encounter—she wanted her life back. She watched Alison looking through the screen shots.

"And there is a lot of science on here…" Alison trailed off.

Cosima just looked at Alison with her puppy eyes, hoping that someone would believe her. The soccer mom opened and closed her mouth twice, trying to put together what she was thinking.

"I think…I mean—maybe, _maybe_, Cosima, it's her."

* * *

><p><em>One Week Earlier<em>

Cosima had been gathering all of the information she could about Delphine's disappearance. She had gotten that one email before Delphine was yanked away, but after setting the pencil gun trap for Rachel, by the time she had gotten back to her computer, the email address no longer existed. Neither did Delphine's cell number.

She knew from that alone that Delphine did not take a reassignment voluntarily. According to Scott, whom Rachel never suspected played a role in her new one-eyed daily existence, Rachel was rarely in the office, but Rachel's watchdog was always in the lab with him. He had no way of going through any files to see if there was anything on Delphine.

At least he thought, until he mentioned to Cosima that on Rachel's orders, everything he knew about the infertility sequence was to be copied and emailed to a colleague at another office. He was never told where he or she was, and the email he was to use was a generic, sent to an email that was equally generic. He was not allowed to converse with the individual, only send files back and forth.

There was no name. No location to go on. But Cosima knew that if something was sent over the Internet, they could trace an IP address. An address that traced to an unregistered business account in South Germany.

That was the point where Cosima was determined to hack into every hackable computer connected to the internet by that particular service provider, looking for anything that could hint at Delphine.

* * *

><p><em>Present<em>

"Look. These articles? Nobody would read these articles." Cosima was still pleading her case to Alison. She had gotten Alison to believe her, but she needed someone on her side, someone who could work with her. Sarah, Felix, Cal…everyone was more concerned with Cosima's illness, doing everything they could to secure equipment for her to continue working on herself, luckily with some help from Marion Bowles, who traded favors with Sarah and Cal for them working for her against the DYAD. Marion had a clone daughter with the original genetic sequences; she was all too familiar with the possibility that her little girl could one day grow up to develop the illness. She made it known that she was as invested in curing Cosima as anyone, which also had the pleasant side effect of keeping Sarah, and therefore Paul, in her back pocket.

"Nobody?" Alison asked.

"Nobody. I'm pretty sure that when I started finding them to work on my dissertation, nobody had read any of these journals since they had been published. Fringe science, remember?"

Alison pondered this for a moment. If it was Donnie, and Donnie had been taken away, he would have done the same thing if he were trying to flag her down. Perhaps putting up the songs they danced to at their wedding, or with a background picture of the first pizza place they went to as teenagers.

If it were Donnie, she would want her sisters to help her too.

"Okay. What do we do? You found her, she opened up the computer for a virus, but then she gets rid of everything you send in." Cosima's smile broke out in full form at her sister's jump off the deep end with her.

"Maybe I'm being too generic. She would have no way of telling the difference between my virus and a regular one looking for credit card information and password logins." Cosima's hands moved wildly. She was excited that she finally had someone on her side. Of course, her sisters were always on her side, everyone working to make sure she stayed away from the DYAD and able to work on a cure. She knew that they were rotating in to stay with her out of care, but nobody wanted to go down the rabbit hole after Delphine until after Cosima was healthy.

"So you think you should make a virus called 'this is Cosima, please come find me a kill me, DYAD'? That's your solution?" Alison knew how dangerous this was. Alison thought again to what she would do if it was Donnie.

"Maybe she didn't expect me to actually try to contact her back. Look at this song. She wants me to find her. Maybe she meant physically? Like they have her trapped in some sort of German science prison? Okay, that sounded ridiculous once I said it out loud." Cosima put her face in her hands, shaking her head.

"Well she left everything open for someone to be able to get it."

"Okay Cosima. She wants you to hack in. She doesn't know the difference between a malicious virus and your viruses. There has to be another way." Cosima was clearly talking to herself, which didn't stop Alison from responding.

"I know you're the brains of this operation, but how much do you really know about hacking?" Alison asked, trying to sound more helpful than it came across.

"I know I'm not really a hacker, Alison. Cal already made it clear that Sarah cut him off from helping unless it's illness related. So no, I don't know how else to get into her system other than these shell viruses that I learned to make from chat rooms and blogs."

"There has to be another way to hack into a system…I may know a guy."

* * *

><p>Delphine sighed as she came home from work to find yet another virus on her now always running laptop, and still no sign of Cosima. It was beginning to irk her that common hackers appeared to work at getting to her faster than Cosima, who she knew to be an actual genius.<p>

She had taken to sitting with the laptop across from her, talking to it as though Cosima could hear her.

"I know you will get to me, Cosima. In the meantime, I have to stay here for awhile." Delphine turned down her offers from coworkers nearly every night in favor of going home with her own bottle of wine and using cooking as an escape from the gravity of the situation. If she was in the kitchen, the laptop was in the kitchen. There was now a spot on the night table next to the bed for it.

That morning, Marion Bowles had visited her on her way in to the DYAD. They had come to an agreement, one that apparently Sarah and Marion had actually worked out themselves and merely had Marion present as though Delphine's opinion really mattered. Delphine had gotten into the black limo that flagged her down on her way down the street.

Marion and Delphine both agreed that with Rachel still alive, Delphine's best chance at curing Cosima was to stay as far away from North America as possible and keep working. Marion disclosed that she was raising a clone daughter, and wanted to ensure that the little girl would not have to grow up to die like Jennifer Fitzsimmons. From the way Marion spoke about little Charlotte, Delphine believed her. She sounded more like a mother and less like a shark hunting in the tank that was the DYAD.

In exchange, Marion agreed that Delphine should be able to contact Cosima. They both agreed that cell phones would be too risky. There was a point in the conversation where Delphine hesitated, looking down.

"What is it, Dr. Cormier?" Marion asked politely, genuinely liking the doctor. She was clearly intelligent, was able to act rationally even when in tremendous emotional turmoil, and more importantly, she was on the right side.

"I may have already tried to get the ball rolling in contacting Cosima. Or, trying to allow her to contact me." Marion waiting, simply arching an eyebrow.

"Let's just say that if someone were to try to get in through my computer, it's wide open."

Marion smiled at the younger professional. Intelligent, indeed. Maybe they would have a cure after all.

"Tell me everything about the computer, and in exchanged for your continued work on a cure, I will ensure that Cosima finds a way in."

* * *

><p>Sarah and Felix were surprised when Alison volunteered to go over to sit with Cosima again on Monday night. The two weren't complaining, even when it was Sarah and Felix the two tried to make it like they were all hanging out, but jumped anytime Cosima coughed, bracing themselves for a seizure. It was not only becoming annoying to Cosima, it was tiring for Felix and Sarah as well, always being on high alert.<p>

"You two. We will be at Mrs. S.'s house with Kira. If anything happens,"

"We know. Call Marion's emergency line." Cosima interrupted Sarah, not even bothering to look up from the laptop.

"We'll be back by ten. Don't stay up too late, yeah?" Sarah said softer. Cosima was fairly high energy lately, but it didn't stop her from worrying.

"We're fine!" Alison said suspiciously quickly. "We're going to log into my Netflix, and Cosima and I are going to be come well acquainted with musical section."

Cosima stopped typing and looked over at the woman with bangs sitting next to her, who had clearly lost her mind.

"What?" Alison shrugged. "It's almost play season. I have to be ready, Cosima." Cosima rolled her eyes.

"See, Sarah? We're fine."

As soon as Sarah and Felix shut the door, Cosima counted to three before opening her mouth again.

"What the hell, Alison? You know we're not watching musicals, right? You're supposed to be helping me!"

"Of course we're not watching musicals. I was covering for us. Give me a little credit."

Alison got up to watch out the window, seeing Felix and Sarah disappear in the car Marion had provided. Cosima watched her take out her phone and start texting.

"I think I can make a virus with a name that she might recognize. Like 'DNA Breakthrough' or something." Cosima was in full working mode, fumbling her way through keyboard commands and amateur coding techniques.

"That may not be necessary." Alison said as they heard three distinct knocks on the door, which she rushed to answer.

"Ramone!" She said, sliding the door open. "So glad you were available this evening."

* * *

><p>Delphine was starting to doubt herself. Or, more likely, doubt her relationship with Cosima. The time apart with no contact was taking its toll.<p>

She stared at the computer again, as she did every night, with no sign of change. Other than a few viruses here and there, nothing was ever different on her computer. There was no evidence of Cosima on her system. There never was, as far as she could tell. It was starting to become maddening.

"Maybe, you do not want to find me." Delphine said, talking to the open screen.

She thought back to not just how she left, but the relationship as a whole. Whenever things got difficult, Cosima had been the one to push her away.

"_Out."_ Played in her head over and over. How many times had Cosima's reaction to anything been to just kick Delphine out? No conversation. No hint of Cosima feeling as strongly as Delphine. Cosima's first reaction when she was hurt was to run and hide, to push it away. Delphine was a fighter. Her instinct was to fight for what she wanted. Twice, when Cosima was faced with a choice, she chose to kick Delphine out.

Delphine was always the one who went back and fought for Cosima after being pushed away. No matter what Cosima had ever said to Delphine in the heat of the moment, there was never an apology. She just moved on, glad to have Cosima back. She had been the first one to say I love you. She was the one fighting for Cosima in her life.

"Cosima…" She started to say at the screen, not sure what to say, but feeling the knot form in her throat immediately.

"Please, fight this time. Please find me, if you want to find me." She choked out, considering the very real possibility for the first time that Marion very well could have given Cosima all she needed, and Cosima could be choosing not to have her back in her life.

* * *

><p>"So there's no way she would be able to ignore THIS virus. It will crash her whole system, then reboot with an image. It could be like a fireworks display or flash a picture of something, as long as it's a picture I can find on the internet. I haven't actually worked out all the kinks yet, since I normally use this to scare the crap out of my friends." Cosima was getting excited, so thankful for Alison in that moment, and her very shady yet useful acquaintance Ramone.<p>

"It's worth a shot, right Cosima? She'll have to pay attention to this." Alison says, not understanding any of what she just watched Ramone begin to construct.

They all jumped when they heard three knocks at the door again. Alison just looked wide-eyed.

"I didn't invite anyone else." She said, staring at Cosima and Ramone. Cosima got up, taking a deep breath before opening the door, preparing to see a DYAD suit monkey.

"Hey. Heard you could use some help. Marion sent me."

Cal gave his little half smile, with his laptop bag on his shoulder, peeking over to give a little nod to Alison and Ramone.

Cosima was shocked, to say the least. She knew that Marion had the kind of power that Rachel had, possibly more so, but really didn't think the woman was ever going to help her with something personal. Ramone quickly started going over his plan with Cal, the two of them taking the center spot in front of the laptop.

"You didn't know he was coming?" Cosima whispered over to Alison, moving to stand next to her, letting Cal look at the computer.

"No! And now I still have to pay Ramone, even though I'm sure Cal is going to reprogram everything he did!" Alison paused taking a breath to calm herself. "Cosima, if Cal is here, and we know Sarah didn't send him, then Marion sent him. How do we know this is safe? Sure, she seems like she's not just the next Dr. Leekie, but who knows?"

"It's worth a try." Cosima says immediately. "I'm willing to try anything. Please, Alison. She was sent away for helping me. For helping _us_." Cosima said, grabbing Alison's hand, hoping her seriousness could be conveyed through touch and expression.

Alison pursed her lips, but nodded.

"Okay guys, what do you think?" Alison said to the hackers.

"I think that you should stop messing around with viruses that you don't know how to program." Cal said immediately, as he was deleting everything Ramone had done over the last hour.

"What else am I supposed to do, Cal? It's not like I can just hop on there and say 'Hi'!" Cosima said, a little more aggressive than she intended.

"Actually, you can." Cal said, watching all eyebrows in the room raise. "She didn't just take off her anti-virus. She added a Remote Desktop. And the password is…password. Big surprise there. You can just hop on and leave a message."

* * *

><p>If Delphine had not gone through every nightmare scenario in her head, ranging from Cosima moving on, to Cosima never having loved her, to Cosima and her sisters only using her to reverse-spy on DYAD, her evening might have went differently.<p>

If Delphine had been having a normal night, she would have went to sleep with the laptop right next to the bed, where the slightest change in light or sound would have woken her up.

Instead, Delphine opened a second bottle of wine, before getting to the scenario in her head where she never sees Cosima again. That was the scenario where the tears really began to fall. Mascara and eye shadow smeared and ran everywhere down her face, only making her cry harder. She didn't even bother to wipe any of it away before stumbling to the bed to pass out, leaving the laptop out on the kitchen table, where a new word document was being created and saved right on the open screen.

_**Read Me – ASAP**_

Delphine instead, overslept, running into work barely showered, where she faced the decision as to whether or not she could handle working to cure someone she loved, who she had to begin to understand might not love her back.


	3. The Letter

_Hey! There are readers here! Alright! So this is a short update just to get something up instead of making a big chap and having to wait until the weekend. _

* * *

><p>Delphine held Cosima responsible for many of her "firsts". Sleeping with Cosima was her first time with a woman, followed by her first eskimo pie. Cosima was the first time she felt like she constantly had to choose between love and career, especially never having the two intertwined before. Cosima didn't know it, but she was there for the first time had ever Delphine cried after sex, an occurrence that never happened with men, despite what she told Cosima to appear less vulnerable.<p>

And now, Delphine was leaving work after having her first day ever hung over at work. She had a long, tiring day after not enough sleep with her head bouncing back and forth between a headache and thinking about all of the reason she was up crying into her wine instead of staying hopeful and resting for her work.

When she came home, having pulled herself together only by the late afternoon, she immediately narrowed her eyes at the laptop, as thought it was responsible for her slow, Gaslight-esque breakdown from the night before. The tiny box of wires and processors and files now represented everything she felt about being ripped away from her life, and all the emotions along with it that she had been stuffing down for the last few weeks, ignoring them in favor of blind hope.

That hope was being quickly dwindled away.

"Did you ever love me?" She asked the computer in an accusatory manner. "Did you feel anything?! Did you really just want me OUT this whole time?"

"Well?" She said, spinning the screen around and hitting the space bar to wake it up, half-expecting an answer.

She immediately noticed something different about her screen. Something subtle but immediately noticeable. The background was still there. The programs she had open were still running. The science documents she had saved were still on the desktop, the "read me…asap" file was there…

"Read me?" Delphine froze. She had most certainly not put that on her desktop.

The adrenaline surge was immediate. The blonde scientist immediately had a pump of elated possibility that she was about to be given her answer.

The risk that it was another virus, and not really a word document was not enough to keep Delphine from clicking on the document to find out.

* * *

><p><em>The Night Before<em>

"That's really fantastic, Cal! Just brilliant! Marion sends you on a mission to my brother's home, and you don't even give me a heads up?" Sarah had been stomping around for quite some time, speaking as though Cosima wasn't even in the room.

"Sarah, of course I was going to tell you. I didn't think this was something that I needed to interrupt your dinner for! And I figured if it was to help Cosima you'd be all for it anyway."

"Yeah, _Sarah_, Cal would think if it were to help me you'd be all for it." Cosima felt the need to insert, while Cal and Sarah continued arguing over Felix, sitting with his fingers in his ears, drinking an evening mimosa with a straw.

As they continued to argue, Cosima finished saving everything onto Delphine's desktop that she felt she could somewhat safely leave. There was still always the possibility that it was a trap, but it was worth a try.

When she was finished, she sat staring at the screen, as though she expected an immediate response. Luckily, Alison was still right next to her.

"Cosima, what time is it?" She asked sweetly, not expecting Cosima to look up from the screen, which she didn't.

"Almost ten-thirty."

"So then what time is it in Germany?"

"Shit." Cosima said, snapping away from the screen. "It's the middle of the night there. There's no way she's sitting at the computer to see this. Alison, I can't just sit here and wait. I'm not going to be able to sleep. Now that I know I can talk to her…" Cosima trailed off. Alison didn't miss how her voice waivered at the end.

"Hey there, frownie face!" Alison said, using the tone she used to cheer up her children when one of them scraped a knee or lost a part to a toy. "This is good! It'll be fun."

Cosima shot her a look that expressed the ridiculousness of the previous comment.

"It's not fun, Alison. I want my life back."

"No! I mean yes, that's reality. But it's also like having a pen pal. The anticipation is part of the fun!" Alison said, running out of bullshit lines to feed Cosima.

"Alison?"

"…yes?"

"We're going to enter the quiet time portion of our adventure together, mmmkay?" Cosima said, getting a nod of agreement from Alison, turning to stare back at the screen.

_There's no way I can sleep tonight. There's no way I'm going to think about anything else without checking this computer every five minutes_. Cosima ran over the absolute truth in her head over and over again, as Cal slowly brought Sarah to reason in the background.

* * *

><p>Delphine held her breathe after double clicking the document, braced in case an actual virus did pop up, or worse, something from the DYAD that showed they were on to her plan.<p>

Instead, she opened a letter.

_**Dear Delphine,**_

_**Please, please be you. Please be the right computer with the right person at it with the right everything. I saw your flags—I saw you desktop, and your iTunes and the articles. It's like you found a way to represent each of the things I miss about you. I also know it's you because you still don't spell check your documents before saving them, and you still have "grocery shopping" scheduled on your calendar like it's an official U.N. meeting or something. And it's adorable. I miss that too.**_

_**I know you were forced away. Cal was here on Marion's orders, and he filled me in a little. We know you didn't leave voluntarily. And guess what? Alison's been helping me too. We're all rooting for you, Del. We're rooting for you to be able to come back. We're going to make sure you can come back. **_

_**I'm sitting here trying to figure out what to say to you. Like what you'd want to hear the first time I write you a letter after so long. If we were swapped, I'd want to know that you were okay. I still want to know that you are okay, but I'll start with me. I'm doing alright. Some days are good, some days are bad. The good days are because I'm using small amounts from a blood donation from Kira to extract the platelets and redirect her superkid white blood cells to attach the stalagmites in my lungs. I pretty much have an unlimited band aid as long as she's around. At least that's the hold over until Helena gives birth and we have a placenta to work with…anyway, the bad days are when I miss you the most. Or at least that's as sappy as I'm going to get with Alison sitting right next to me and with Sarah in the room. **_

_**I always thought your next time back in Europe would be with me. Remember? You've never been to London, and I've never been to Amsterdam, so we were supposed to do the entire loop before looping back around to your family. And you're not off the hook, Cormier, we're still doing that. **_

_**I insanely miss you. I am 100% certain this is your computer, but just to make Alison and Sarah feel better, I'm going to ask you a security question at the end of the letter. If you don't answer correctly, we destroy your computer. Oh! Also, you missed a whole bunch of new seasons of our shows on Netflix, which I'm not watching without you. **_

_**Click around. I'm assuming you're asleep by now, so I'm leaving you presents on your laptop.**_

_**Also, I love you. I know, I'm getting sappy but I'm sitting here in your fucking fuzzy-blanket that you brought over to me that time and never took back, and both loving that it smells like you and resenting that it's not you here instead. And that's something I don't feel I got to say enough before you left.**_

_**Question: If you are Delphine, tell me why I don't eat trail mix. **_

_**-Cosima**_

_**PS – PLEASE don't take forever. Check your damn computer, Delphine.**_

Delphine sat, reading the letter over three more times, before getting up to make some coffee. She couldn't remember the last time she felt relief, happiness, joy…she couldn't remember the last time she smiled so hard it hurt and was choking back happy tears instead of angst.

She continued clicking around, noticing that Cosima had helped herself to her complete system, leaving her tracks all over her programs. Delphine had been sleep deprived the night before from her own mental musings and panic. Now, she was looking forward to a night awake, gripping to anything that pointed to Cosima being alive, and well, and more importantly, just as in love as she was.

Delphine took her time, re-reading everything on the desktop. Cosima hadn't just left her a letter, she went into her iTunes and contributed to each of the playlists, including even more songs that they would both know that Delphine hadn't know the names or artists of to find. In addition to the letters and playlists, Cosima had taken the liberty of marking some sort of meeting on her calendar. It said, simply, "chat".

When Delphine clicked on the meeting that had been apparently scheduled for her, it automatically brought up some type of clandestine chat function. She had never heard of DarkNet before, but it seemed that Cosima had taken the liberty of giving her a username and password. They chat was scheduled for the next night, at 11pm Delphine's time, with "6 PM EST" in parenthesis next to it. Of course, she would be there. That wasn't even a question. It appeared from the instructions that they were going to take turns typing on Delphine's desktop in the chat live.

And lastly, Cosima had taken a picture with Alison holding up a sign that said, "Hi, Delphine!" Delphine couldn't help but giggle at that one. It was exactly what Cosima would do to signal it was her and she was alright.

Delphine stayed up into the wee hours, reading and listening to everything from Cosima, sifting through her electronic care package. She distracted herself enough not to address at all her earlier insecurities, the ones that had caused her to crash the night before. She was too excited, again reading the letter while listening to Cosima's music. If the night before was her lowest night, this was her high, feeling more hope for her and Cosima than she had ever.

She had to leave Cosima a note back, not knowing if she would see it before their chat date. It was still worth a shot. She started typing furiously, producing a letter that was twice as long as Cosima's had been. She saved it anyway, and then went back to clicking around, looking at all of the evidence of Cosima left behind.

* * *

><p>Cosima cracked an eye open, feeling a full bladder as her first signal that she had at some point passed out on the couch, with the laptop still on top of her. The second signal was the soreness in her neck from how she fell asleep, having stayed up as long as she could, arguing back and forth between her, Sarah, and Cal, and then when and Alison left, between just her and Sarah.<p>

She poked her head over the back of the couch, finding a half-naked Felix taking advantage of having his bed back for the evening. She closed the computer, glad to be the first in the bathroom.

Instead of waking up with the usual sadness, she bounced up full of hope. She had her first DarkNet date. True, they were still being cautious. She and Cal had decided on the plain-text DarkNet Messenger for now, until they had 100 percent confirmation that it was indeed Delphine. Still, it gave Cosima hope. Until she went to brush her teeth, the room suddenly spinning, with a coughing fit only making it worse.

"Cos?" Sarah poked her head into the bathroom. Cosima didn't answer, clearly trying to clear her lungs without coughing them completely up. Cosima felt weaker with each cough, the color draining from her face. Sarah stiffened with tension. She could see the way Cosima was wide away, but using the sink to hold herself up. She quickly ran to get the oxygen tank.

_She could die. _Sarah thought to herself. _She could die, and I'm doing everything I can to keep her from Delphine so they can work in the cure, hoping she won't in the process. _

She helped Cosima put the nose tubes on, patting her with a wet towel.

"Let's get you back to the couch, yeah?" She led Cosima back slowly, rubbing her back.

"Here." She gave Cosima the laptop back, opening it on her sister's lap, and tapping it awake. Cosima looked at her questioningly. Sarah paused, giving Cosima a meaningful look.

No smile. Sarah never smiled when she was serious.

"Let's see if there are any messages for you, alright?"

* * *

><p>"Cal, I'm sorry about last night. You're right. You were just doing your job, and you were helping us in the process…yeah…yeah, right…so look, I think I can do something to help Cosima. There's something we can get her. Yeah, it's something I need your help picking out. And we need it by tonight. Thanks. Sorry again, you know, for being a twat…right. Bye." Sarah hung up on the cell phone, watching both Cosima doze off, and Felix's snoring only getting louder.<p>

The former foster child looked out at the sleeping two.

_Nobody messes with my family_, she thought, grabbing her coat and gloves.


	4. Face To Face

Cosima was down at the bar around the corner, hating that she had to drag the oxygen tank to go outside today. It was clumsy, even with Felix's help, and she was more aware than ever that she looked sixty five instead of thirty, drinking mid-day for no good reason other than to be out of the apartment while Felix took a client.

The bartender, recognizing the two as regulars, immediately procured a glass of red wine for Cosima.

"For the lady," he said flamboyantly with a wink, "and _anything_ for the gentleman?" He asked Felix in his usual flirty voice. The bartender had slipped Felix his number on more than one occasion, with Felix never taking the bait. He was still casually seeing Colin, and didn't want to have to drag one more person into clonesville if he could possibly avoid it.

"No, thank you Frederick but I'm working today. Cosima's camped out down here on the laptop."

Cosima slowly slipped the wine, knowing she wasn't actually feeling strong enough today to really drink it, but glad her usual beverage was something that would cover up both the look and scent of the blood she had been back to coughing up that day. She also knew she couldn't give herself another treatment injection for a couple of days, so she would have to run on the fumes of excitement at talking to Delphine that evening to drag herself through.

"Felix, you've still never told me what you do for a living." Frederick eyed Felix suggestively, finding a way to work sexual overtones into any conversation with him. Truth be told, Felix was attracted to the whole tall, blonde, and handsome look, but for once was not looking for a date.

"That's because you've never asked." Felix said, shooting back his own wink. If he couldn't outright date the bartender, he could at least play along. "I'm a professional clone watcher. I watch clones that were manufactured in a lab somewhere in a secret scientific experiment. Oh, and I also have sex for money."

Frederick laughed. "Felix, you do have my very favorite sense of humor. I know you're an artist. I saw you dragging a large piece down to the shop across the street. If you ever need someone to paint…nude, you have my number."

"Duly noted." Felix nodded, as Frederick returned to the other end of the bar.

Cosima hit him, which was really more of a brush given her weakness.

"Oh, relax. When your truth is so outrageous that nobody would believe it, you can tell them the truth without anybody having any idea you're not living something completely and truly crazy. Cos, I can cancel with Teddy if you don't want to stay down here."

"I'm fine, Felix. Go. I hate being cooped up all the time anyway."

"I'll be back in an hour and a half, yeah? I'll either join you, or if you're tired I'll bring you back upstairs. Alright?"

"Yeah. Get out of here. You have a hot date today." _So do I_, she thought, immediately turning her attention back to the letter from Delphine on her laptop.

_**Dear Cosima,**_

_**You found me! I will absolutely be at our chat appointment. I actually can't wait! I feel like we've been separated for years, even though I know it's only been a few weeks. I am in Munich, not Frankfurt like Rachel originally told me. I think that was to throw anyone looking for me off the trail. I don't think that I have the words to tell you how happy I am that you found me. I was really starting to worry for awhile. **_

_**I need to be able to talk to you. I need to know that you are alright, and that you're not just saying you have a treatment to make me worry less. And I miss you too much to not be able to talk to you while I'm here. I want to know everything. I feel like I have two lives now, the one with you and the one here – I want you to know that I'm not just a DYAD drone. I am working on your cure from here. It's the only think keeping me here. **_

_**As for your question, in case you were still doubting that it's me: you do not eat trail mix because trail mix has raisins in it, and California raisins are not really from California even when they say they are, and you refuse to participate in raisin company propaganda-even though I'd like to point out that you still eat cinnamon raisin toast which is likely the same thing and I think it's adorable, but there you go. **_

_**I will be at the chat later. I am hoping that the DarkNet you installed on my computer is safe. I have some higher-ups on my side, but with Rachel still alive and running DYAD North America, we still have to be careful. I won't let anything or anyone hurt you, Cosima. Even if that means I have to be here for awhile. **_

_**And, I love you. **_

_**-Delphine**_

Cosima eyed the letter for another moment. She read over the "Even if that means I have to be here for awhile" clause, narrowing her eyes.

_What the hell? I thought the whole point of finding each other was to get you back. Why would you be there for awhile?_ Cosima ran through the possibilities in her head. Maybe Rachel was still threatening her. Surely, if Delphine had "Higher ups" working with her, one of them could procure a plane ticket.

Cosima was lost in thought, not even noticing that her glass sat empty while the bartender was engrossed with texting instead of doing his job.

_**The girl's here again. Felix dropped her off and went back up to his apartment. She's drinking red wine, on the computer, as usual. She still looks sick.**_

He stared at the phone until he got his reply from Rachel.

_You're supposed to be Felix's monitor, not Cosima's. I don't care what she's doing. Frederick, you need to find a way to get closer to him or I'm afraid we will no longer find you of use to us. And you know what that means. _

"Shit." He said out loud, quickly looking around to make sure nobody heard him, least of all Cosima.

"More wine?" He said, bringing over the bottle with a plastered on smile.

* * *

><p>"Sarah, we can't just run off to Germany and scoop her up. She met with Marion and agreed to stay there. She <em>agreed<em>, Sarah, she's not being held against her will." Cal had agreed to meet up with Sarah for something to do with Cosima, but had no idea just what he was getting into.

"You mean she's not there against her will _anymore_. She was ordered away, Cal, she didn't go off on bloody holiday."

"An order that you were more than fine with when it was to keep her working on a cure."

"That was before…I made a mistake, Cal."

"There seem to be plenty of those from you, aren't there?" He said and immediately regretted. He had been getting in little jabs lately about how he didn't know he had a kid for eight years, full well knowing at some point there was going to be a blow up.

"Right then! Because I'm a screw up Cosima just has to suffer, is that it?"

"Sarah, she wants to stay and cure Cosima. You know damn well if we bring her back here, she has no more lab. No DYAD resources. And Rachel will be after her. Do you want that? Is that even what Cosima wants?" Cal put his hand on Sarah's, only to have it swatted away.

"I just want to make this right is all. We know Cosima thinks her little blood sample band-aid plan is working, but I think she's coughing more. There's no way she'd make it to Germany."

"Is there anything else we can do? Just maybe not an everyone-to-Germany or everyone-to-Canada outcome? I really am trying to help here." Sarah looked at Cal. One of the first things she had noticed about him was that he had innocence in his eyes. It was actually what made him a target for her to con. Now, it was a look that she craved.

"Maybe…maybe there's something we can figure out in the middle. We can't just do nothing while Delphine works indefinitely for a hypothetical cure that we don't even know is possible."

* * *

><p>Delphine couldn't remember the last time she had cooked a real meal. Realistically, the last few days she had also spent as little time as possible outside, spending most of her time either at her apartment, at work, or in transit between the two. Her thoughts were continuously preoccupied with Cosima, with work, with not having a real life anymore.<p>

There had been nothing that interested her outside of her focus-bubble. Everyday was a day where she stepped out of the shower, if she had even bothered to have one, then thinking back to whether or not she used conditioner and soap after shampooing. Most days, she couldn't remember either way.

She was in front of the computer at 10:55. Realistically, she was in front of the computer most of the time, either reading through things from Cosima or writing the letter to Cosima, now that those two things were options. She remembered only having done laundry twice her entire time in Germany, now sporting a sweatsuit generally reserved for period weekends or laundry day. Make-up also hadn't happened that day; she was too preoccupied.

Delphine was all too aware that her life was on pause. She sat, waiting for the five more minutes where she would start to get her life back. That was until she saw the someone join her in a DarkNet chat.

_**Delphine, are you there?**_

Delphine noticed there were no chat or screen names, just different colored writing. Cosima's had come up in green, and she began to type in her own pre-assigned purple.

_I'm here! Cosima?_

_**Actually, it's Sarah. Cosima is right next to me. **_

_Oh, is everything okay?_

_**Yeah, she's just having a weak day. She doesn't have the energy to type as fast as I can right now, but she's saying to make sure it's really you, and then she has an idea.**_

Delphine at this point had no idea what was going on. She had been looking forward with talking to Cosima to the point of obsession, and now she was hearing that Cosima was not well enough to type. Just how sick had she gotten?

_Okay, what do you need me to do?_

_**She's saying she's going to use another security question. Hang on.**_

"Really, Cosima? We've been writing letters already and you still need a security question?" Delphine said out loud. Of course, she understood, but did not like using Sarah as an intermediary. She needed to talk to Cosima to gather back the last of her lost marbles from the separation.

_**Yeah. Question: She wants you to tell us where you put your keys when you get home at the end of the day.**_

Delphine had to shake her head and giggle at that one. It was definitely something Cosima would know about her, so she had no doubt Cosima was indeed there with Sarah.

_The teapot. I don't actually drink tea, so it holds my keys and my wallet. And may I just add, for Cosima, that I've never lost my keys or had to scramble around for them in the morning. _

Delphine was still grinning as she hit "enter".

_**She says it's you, so she's going to do the thing she has the idea about. She says stop typing for a moment, she's coming onto your desktop. **_

Delphine immediately took her hands off the keyboard. Part of her hoped it was some sort of elaborate surprise; she hoped Cosima was romantically waiting outside of her door, all healed. It was a fantasy she occasionally ran over in her head, knowing that it wasn't really possible.

Delphine watched a series of clicks happening in front of her very quickly, before she saw an image of Cosima pop up, taking up the majority of her screen.

"Cosima!" She immediately shouted out of excitement.

"Hey, Delphine!" Cosima said weakly. _Too weakly_, Delphine thought. The blonde's excitement was immediately dampered by just how sick Cosima looked. It must have shown in her face, because Cosima piped up immediately.

"I promise, I'm not usually this sick. I'm just having a bad lung day or whatever."

"I can vouch for that." Sarah popped her head onto the screen. "She has up and down days, this just happens to be a down day. She'll bounce back tomorrow, Delphine." Sarah left the two alone, running through her own plan in her head from her last conversation with Cal.

Cosima was left smiling at Delphine, waiting for a reaction.

Delphine smiled and nodded, hoping that everything Sarah said was true, because Cosima honestly looked and sounded terrible. Delphine wanted nothing more than to be holding her in that moment.

Cosima was having similar thoughts about Delphine. The woman was clearly not expecting to be put on a camera chat, and she looked thinner and paler than usual.

_I've got to cure her_, Delphine thought.

_I've got to get her back here, _Cosima thought.

"Cosima, thank you." Delphine said, shaking off her fears and smiling at her long distance love. "Thank you for finding me. I was…starting to lose it. I was starting to wonder if I would ever see you again." Delphine stopped herself before getting choked up. Cosima looked sick and didn't need to be made worse by seeing her cry.

"Of course I found you. Did you really think I would just let you be yanked out of my life?" Cosima asked.

_Yes, _Delphine thought, _I did for a bit._

"No, of course not." She said. She heard Cosima sigh.

"Good. Because I need you. Tomorrow I give myself a platelet cocktail injection, so the next time we talk I should be back to my old self. I probably won't even need this." She said, holding the side of the nose tubes.

_I'll believe it when I see it_. Delphine thought, opting again to smile and nod.

"Cosima, I am…" She paused. What should she say? She's waited this whole time to speak to Cosima, and now was at a loss for words.

"I am going to cure you." She finished solidly. "This situation could be worse, when I think about it. Rachel could have killed you, or had me killed. Instead, I was sent somewhere that allows me to keep working on you without her even knowing it. I know it's horrible, and I miss you all day, every day, but this—it might actually be best for us right now." Delphine said, seeing Cosima's face drop.

"Delphine, are you out of your mind? You have to come back. Are you saying you don't _want_ to come back?" Cosima started coughing, having too much sudden energy to handle.

"Cosima, I am going to come back! When we have a cure. I can't work there. DYAD will be looking for me for leaving, I will have no lab resources…Cosima, I need to be here. For us. I didn't believe that at first, but I'm taking it as an opportunity."

"What if I need you here?" Cosima said back, crossing her arms in front of her chest. "I thought we were over this, Delphine. I thought we were past the point where you make decisions that affect both of us."

_Great, _Delphie thought. _We've been speaking for five minutes and we're already back to arguing. _

"Cosima, I didn't make this decision. I was force transferred, remember?"

"We can help you escape, Delphine. We have resources. I'm telling you that I need you here with me, and all I'm hearing back is you making another decision on my behalf."

"Hey. Cosima." Cosima had looked away from the screen, and Delphine could see her lip starting to quiver, even from the side. "Cosima, please look at me."

Cosima turned to the gentle voice. She saw Delphine move her face in closer to the screen, so it was taking up the whole picture on Cosima's side. _Gosh she's beautiful. She's clearly not eating or sleeping, and she's still gorgeous, _Cosima thought.

"Come closer." Delphine said. She watched the clone pull the screen up, so that she could only see a close up of Cosima's face.

"_Mon amour_, we both want the same thing. We want to be together. What we are having is a personality difference. You want us to be together now, and figure out the future later. I want us to be together for the next fifty years, so I am willing to separate now to make sure that can happen. If you want me to come back now, I promise, I will leave here and find a way. But you are taking away the rest of our lives if you decide not to let me at least try to cure you, for a little while." Delphine paused, watching Cosima's face. They were close to the screens enough that their faces were life-sized to each other. It was like Cosima was talking to her through a two-way mirror, not from thousands of miles away.

Cosima bit her lip for a moment, looking right into Delphine's eyes on her screen. She looked at the perfection that was Delphine, not liking that Delphine looked like she needed Cosima as much as Cosima needed her, but that logically, she was right. She started to trace the lines on her lover's face on the screen with her finger, the way she used to trace Delphine's face in real life.

Delphine closed her eyes for a moment, remembering what Cosima's fingers used to feel like on her face when they laid close to each other in bed, Cosima slowly tracing her features. She swore she could _almost_ feel it.

"You are very good at your job, Doctor Cormier. You had just better also be fast." Delphine's eyes shot open, lit up. This could quite possibly be the first time Cosima and she were in agreement.

"I will. We know the science, Cosima. We figured it out before I was sent away. It's just a matter of making the medicine and running the tests. I have resources here."

Cosima and Delphine stopped just to smile at each other. It was like a heavy burden had been lifted for Delphine, to have Cosima not only to talk to again, but on the same side.

She saw Cosima's smile fade, and started to see the way she scrunched up her eyebrows like when she was thinking, or more specifically, when she was thinking science.

"Delphine, how are you going to run tests for a treatment when I'm not there with you?" She asked, now second-guessing her agreement with the blonde's plan.

"Ah, so glad you asked. I have another 'patient', shall we say, with a uterus that would be perfect to use as a treatment guinea pig. And let's also just say that were there to be side effects to any treatment, I'd rather they show on her and have time to fix it before giving anything to you." Delphine said with a smile. Cosima smiled back. She could imagine _exactly_ whose uterus would be open to Delphine's experimentation, and was more than happy that anything experimental that had problems would be used on Rachel first, and not her.

"You've really got this all figured out." Cosima said, relaxing back into the pillows that had been propping her up.

"Can we talk again tomorrow night? Do we know for sure this connection is safe?" Delphine asked hopefully.

Cosima smiled. "Yeah, of course. That's why I hacked you. We can talk every day. And given my newfound unemployment, my days are pretty much free too, but you have a clone to cure. I'm working on it too from here. I'm trying to see if I can turn the platelet cocktail into something more permanent. We should share notes, since I'm sure you're using more than I have access to."

Delphine carried the laptop into the bed with her, as she noticed that Cosima was starting to sound sleepier and sleepier, and she was well past midnight on a weeknight. The rest of the conversation just ended up being mumbled "I miss you's" and "I love you's" until they were both off to sleep, finally face-to-face.


	5. Never Too Late

Chapter 5

"Okay, once you get it in, we have to press play at the same time. Like, the _exact_ same time, or we're not really watching it together." Cosima said excitedly.

Cosima's favorite things to do with Delphine had always been simple. She favored a glass of wine at either of their apartments over a wild night out, figuring that their daily lives were so crazy that the normalcy of their nightlife was actually comforting.

Naturally, when Delphine suggested they have a date night and watch a movie together, Cosima was excited. She had her last injection, which she thought made her feel like superwoman, ready to do anything.

Delphine had seen Cosima after the injection, noticing it just got her back to the condition she was in before she left, not actually making her any better in the long term. The Doctor knew that meant that Cosima had experienced enough bad days to make the mediocre days seem wonderful, not the state of sickness that she could still see.

Delphine wanted a normal night with Cosima, some semblance of their previous life together. They had broken their Skype-date session down to a science: the same popcorn, computers open so they could still see each other, and Delphine's demands that Cosima finally watch a French film with her finally being met. Delphine had put in that request back in Canada several times, only to have Cosima brush off French films as "unnecessarily angsty", and that they should watch movies they could both understand. A few thousand miles apart seemed to change her mind on this, after Delphine asked again through video chat.

"Fine." Cosima had agreed during their previous converasation. "But I get to pick it."

"How exactly are you picking out a movie from a country you've never been to in a language you don't speak?" Delphine asked with an amused smirk. She did a quick catalog in her head of various French cartoons Cosima was likely to drag up from the internet.

"Subtitles. I'm embracing the technology of translation. And there is a French movie I want to see, thank you very much." Cosima had a grin that Delphine could never argue with. She was too busy sorting through the fuzzy feelings Cosima's smile gave her, never able to answer right away after seeing it.

The next night, Cosima couldn't contain her excitement, as she and Felix had found out that they were perfect roommates. When Cosima wanted the bed area, she shut the curtains and Felix had the whole living room kitchen/space. When Felix had Frederick over, which had been going on for the past 48 hours on and off, Cosima had the couch, and the television. They never argued, and took turns cycling through who was making a mess of art or science or dishes, and who would occasionally barrel through with some paper towels to clean up. Cosima scheduled movie night for a night when she had the living room, with Felix settled into the bedroom with his date.

Cosima and Delphine each got themselves comfortable, both waiting for the other's nod before hitting play. Delphine had a stack of pillows next to her with the laptop balanced on top, the camera pointed at her face. She snuggled up close to the pillows, seeing the opening of _Blue is the Warmest Color_, hearing the same sounds echo from Cosima's side. They had indeed pushed play at the same time.

* * *

><p>Frederick ran his fingers through Felix's hair, reveling in the softness.<p>

Two nights earlier, Felix's excuse for getting Frederick to stay had been that it was Cosima's night for the couch space, and they shouldn't disturb her. The next night, the excuse was that it was Felix's night for the living room, and they should make the most of it. It didn't help that Felix was charming, witty, engaging, and exactly what Frederick would have hit on at the bar without Rachel's direction.

By night three, Frederick knew that he was falling for Felix, and it was going to be nothing but a world of trouble.

It was also the night he stopped texting detailed Felix updates to Rachel, instead focusing on Cosima, the apartment—anything to stop reporting on the boyish smile and sparkling, complicated eyes that gazed back at him. Even though he knew it was grating on Rachel's nerves.

* * *

><p>"Ahhh oh my goodness, Cosima, what did you pick out?!" Delphine had been enjoying the movie. She and Cosima had giggled over the schoolgirl protagonist who was about to get a three hour lesson in her own sexuality. The giggling had abruptly stopped once the sex scenes started.<p>

"I'm sorry! This movie was supposed to have this amazing 'realistic' sex and OH MY GOD WHAT ARE THEY DOING NOW?" Delphine hid her face while Cosima was talking, giggling at the laptop. She was relieved Cosima seemed to be as horrified as she was by what was occurring in front of them.

"Cosima…we're not supposed to be-"

"No, Delphine." Cosima interrupted, still laughing. "Nobody does it like that. That position doesn't even make _sense_."

"I am so glad you did not show me this movie before we started sleeping together…I might not have done it if I had seen this first." Delphine giggled over, focusing her eyes away from the larger screen, and back to the smaller one with Cosima.

"Well, I promise not to hold this against all French women if you promise not to hold this against real lesbians." Cosima said, turning the sexual atrocity down to focus on Delphine.

They lay propped up in their sides on their respective couches, Delphine on her left side and Cosima on her right, as though they were laying right across from each other.

"How do you know what the 'real lesbians' do, Cosima? You haven't slept with every woman on the planet. Clearly, there is _somebody_ who thinks that is a good idea." Delphine teased, then suddenly looking serious. She watched the blonde bit her lip and stare into the camera.

"What?" Cosima asked, still smiling at the screen.

"Cosima, how many women have you been with?" Delphine asked, immediately dropping her face down innocently, giving Cosima her puppy eyes.

Cosima paused for a moment.

"I guess we never really had this kind of talk before." She noticed Delphine starting to fiddle with the threads of her blanket. The Clone wanted to know if she was nervous about getting a low number, or nervous she was about to get a really high number.

"I'll tell you, but you need to tell me too." Cosima said, swallowing, earning a nod from Delphine.

"The thing is, Delphine…I don't know." Cosima said carefully. She paused, as Delphine just stared back at her blankly. "I don't know how many women I've slept with. I sort of went through a 'free love' phase in college, and I can't even tell you what constitutes who I've been with. Let's just say my hand ended up going down the front of a lot of pants and up a lot of skirts at a lot of parties, but I wouldn't even call most of that really being _with_ someone, you know?" Cosima explained, talking faster and faster, like she could outrun Delphine's thoughts catching up with her. Delphine nodded, trying to picture wild-child Cosima, wondering what would have happened if they had met at a party ten years ago.

"How many? How many have you _really_ been with, Cosima? Minus the party encounters." Delphine asked with wide eyes. Now that she was down this rabbit hole, she realized there was a whole lot about Cosima that she didn't know. It had been easier to live in the moment when you didn't know if you were ever getting another one as the end game. Now, however, they had nothing but time to back track.

"Five." Cosima said definitively. "Five actual girlfriends. Five people where actual whole outfits came off on a bed. You?"

"Me?" Delphine asked, stalling somewhat. Cosima rolled her eyes, but couldn't help the tiny smile that threatened to present itself.

"Yes you, that was the deal, remember?"

Delphine leaned in, as though there was anyone else there to hear her.

"Eleven." She whispered, immediately hiding her face. "You must think I'm terrible." She said with her face in her hands. Cosima immediately threw her head back laughing at Delphine's embarrassment.

"Eleven, including me?" Cosima giggled.

"No." Delphine answered, giggling back. "Those were the boys. With you it's twelve."

They both started laughing uncontrollably.

"Why, Dr. Cormier, I knew you were a charmer, but I had no idea. How many of those were hearts you broke?" Cosima asked, enjoying making Delphine squirm.

"Ahh, the broken hearts. You assume I would be the heart breaker?" She asked, arching an eyebrow.

"Yes. I think there are now a dozen people on the planet longing for your presence."

"Maybe, but only one of them matters." She said back, suddenly getting serious.

Cosima's face took a serious turn as well, also lowering her voice for the sake of maintaining the intimacy of the conversation.

"Delphine, the only other time I have ever wanted to kiss you as much as I do right now was the first time you grabbed me and kissed me back at my place." Delphine blushed, smiling at the memory. Technically, that night had been when Cosima became number 12. That was the night she planned on not having to count any higher.

"You have a very sexy neck." Delphine answered, causing Cosima to go back to giggling.

"What?" Cosima asked, biting her bottom lip through giggles.

"That's what I was thinking about. I wanted to kiss your neck, and your face, and your lips all at once. I had to take a moment to decide where to start. Your lips are wonderful, but I love to kiss your neck." Delphine was back to hiding in the crook of her own arm, starting to get the sleepy giggles. Apparently, sleepy, after-movie date Delphine became _very_ honest. Delphine lost herself in the moment, thinking about her favorite Cosima-part.

Cosima thought back to their time together. Delphine _had_ spent quite a bit of time kissing, licking, sucking, and biting her neck.

"You mean this part right here?" Cosima asked, moving her head to expose the side, noticing how Delphine immediately licked her lips at the sight. Delphine never answered, staring blatantly at the exposed skin. She wondered briefly if their video chat had a zoom-in feature.

"Hey. I miss you like that too." Cosima said, through a yawn, knowing this would be another falling-asleep-while-talking-to-Delphine evening.

* * *

><p>Frederick waited until Felix was asleep before sending his obligatory text to Rachel.<p>

_**Sarah still lives with her old foster mother, not here. The other clone's here talking to her friend on the computer again. **_

The response came quickly, as usual when it came to reporting to Rachel.

_I've told you a number of times, I don't care what the clones are doing at the moment. I have a handle on Sarah. You worry about Felix. _

_**Sorry. No more about Cosima or her French friend on the computer. Just Felix.**_

_Did you just say French friend?_

Frederick knew immediately he had divulged too much. Rachel never sent him a question, only orders. He could now probably add that last text message to the list of reasons Felix was going to have Sarah chop his body in a meat grinder if he ever found out who he really was.

_**Yes. Sorry again. I'll just focus on Felix**__. _

* * *

><p>Delphine was barely keeping her eyes open, she and Cosima still mumbling back and forth.<p>

They never used to do this. They never sat up all night just talking. If they were tired, they just crashed cuddled up in each other. If they were awake, they were making love, or at least kissing. Delphine thought she had really taken their time together for granted, working off of her desire for the bubbly dreadlocked fellow scientist without learning all the parts she may never get to see again.

"I mean, I was so nervous I thought I was going to pass out. I thought I was going to pass out between this girl's legs. I was dizzy and everything. From excitement, you know? Not because there was anything wrong. And I was one-hundred percent certain my parents were going to come busting in at any minute, even though I knew their plane had landed in New York for the weekend. I was actually so nervous I couldn't concentrate on what I was doing." Another yawn came, as Cosima tried to stay awake to explain her first sexual experience to her current girlfriend.

"I completely understand." Delphine said, giving back her own sleepy smile. She had moved the laptop into the bed with her, not bothering to change, simply slipping off her bra and climbing in.

"I mean, she was really nice about it. I'm sure I sucked. The only good part was that my eyes weren't as bad then as they are now, so I didn't have to worry about the whole 'when do I take my glasses off' moment—I like to think I have that down pat by now." Cosima grinned, giving a little wink. Delphine kept quite, smiling back, enjoying the sound of Cosima's voice. Delphine was clearly much more tired than even the yawning Cosima, as it was much later in Germany. She was getting used to running on four or five hours of sleep.

"Was it…is that how it was for you?" Cosima asked, suddenly sounding concerned.

"No." Delphine shook her head, looking down. "The first one—I didn't let him go down on me. I was too self-conscious."

"I meant with me. Like, the first time with a woman. Did I make you nervous?" Cosima asked, bringing a nervous hand up to play with her lip.

_I can't believe I never asked her that_, Cosima thought. _I was her FIRST, and I just acted like I was with any other woman who would be used to sex with another woman. _Cosima suddenly felt about as big as she appeared on the screen. She hadn't stopped them, or slowed down, or asked her if she was nervous before letting Delphine rip her clothing off. She had just let them fall into bed.

Delphine blushed, feeling how vulnerable the conversation had just become for her.

"I was a little nervous, but I think kissing you was such a rush. I was in overdrive. The first time you kissed me, I was so scared. Mostly, of myself. So I ran away. But when I kissed you…Cosima, your kisses feel _so good, _and your arms feel _so good_ around me…I don't think I was able to think enough to be that nervous. I was just wrapped up in you. As soon as I felt your hands on me, there were no more thoughts, just feeling. Does that make sense?" Delphine was now nervously rubbing the blankets around her, taking a moment before looking up.

When she did, Cosima was staring right at her face without even a twitch.

"I'm sorry." Cosima said in a small voice. Delphine smiled.

"You're sorry because you're such a good kisser?"

"No. I'm sorry, well, for a lot." Cosima took a breath. "I'm sorry that I just acted like what we did was something you'd done a thousand times before, when it wasn't. And how I never asked you how you felt about it. Before or after." The part Cosima was trying to avoid was the line she had said so many months ago that she still regretted.

_Yeah, it showed_.

"And I'm sorry…" She trailed off. She didn't know if she could say the hurtful line again, even to apologize for it. Delphine waited, her eyes locked on every movement, every mannerism of the dark-haired clone.

"I'm sorry for what I said when we were fighting." Cosima said, swallowing.

Delphine nodded, seeing the genuine look in Cosima's eyes.

"Thank you." She said simply. It wasn't lost on her that this was the first time Cosima has apologized for anything, ever. "It means a lot to me, Cosima."

"I want a do-over." Cosima said seriously, but still causing a little laugh to bubble up from Delphine.

"Cosima, you are calling a do-over after we have since had sex many times? Did none of those count as a do-over?" Delphine said smiling broadly. She was _so_ tired, but she knew she woke up well rested on even a few hours of sleep after talking to Cosima, and she would wake up feeling exhausted from a full night without her.

"No. They don't. I want to do it right, the way I should have." Delphine felt herself blush again, not knowing it was possible so many times in one night.

"Okay?" Cosima asked. _Please, Delphine. Please give me another chance, to not take this for granted._

"Okay. When we are together again." Delphine felt like she could take on the world at that moment. She wondered how Cosima had this power over her, how Cosima could comfort her so thoroughly from so far away. Just a few lines from the smaller woman had her heart bursting, the way it had when they had first started seeing each other back in Minnesota. Or, more importantly, the way it would have been fully bursting if she had also not been her monitor.

* * *

><p><em>Yep-cutting it off there. 'Cause that's how we roll in Rogue territory. ;) Will update again soon. <em>


	6. You Can't Handle the Truth

Chapter 6

"_Bonjour!" _Delphine said to the other lab workers in the break room, breezing past with her cup of coffee. It wasn't lost on them that she was the only one who ever used the pot instead of a press, and who brewed American coffee, even though they all knew she was French.

It was also not lost on them that Delphine never, ever said "Hello" or "Good morning" to anyone, generally sulking around, choosing instead to have brief, work-related conversations with only those who spoke English. Nobody else there spoke French, and learning German was never on Delphine's to-do list.

"Somebody's adjusting to monitor jail fairly quickly." A rosy-cheeked older gentleman in a lab coat said to his younger female cohort.

"Nobody adjusts that quickly to be ripped away and sent to the scientific equivalent of Siberia." She said, her tone showing her own jadedness at being sent to DYAD Deutschland after disclosing that she was a monitor to her clone, at the time, her best friend.

"Well, it's that, or she's visited the narcotics cabinet. And we know that's not possible, since _I'm_ in charge of the narcotics cabinet." He said, still chuckling at how wound up Greta was getting at Delphine's sudden change in attitude.

"Is that why you're so happy all the time, Dr. Erikkson?"

"Stuff it. You know I do my job. Why can't we let someone be happy around here for once?" He asked, taking off his glasses to clean them.

"Why can't we all be happy? I'm going to find out why that one is the only frog not stuck in the mud." Greta finished making her breakfast to bring back to her office, noticing that Dr. Erikkson had already lost interest in the conversation in favor of slipping his nip of liquor into his morning coffee, as per his usual routine.

* * *

><p>Felix and Cosima had the head-bounce down pat by this point. The perfect head-bob, in time with the bass of the club music they had their daily grease bucket brunches to. Felix was putting the finishing touches on some eggs while Cosima sat on the stool, both nodding in perfect timing.<p>

"I'm not going to say anything about the grunting today, Felix, but I will just make it known that I can hear it and leave it at that." Cosima said, referencing Felix's night before with the bedroom. Cosima had been enthralled by a date with Delphine, it was true, but the sounds the background did not go over her head.

"Yes, and?" Felix said, throwing his head back dramatically.

"And…nice job! High five!" Cosima said, grinning as Felix took his morning-after congratulations from his roommate.

"It's him you should be high-fiving. All I did was lay on my back with my legs up. He does all the work. A lady, after all, never breaks a sweat." Felix's grin grew and grew. "Anyway, shouldn't you be getting a high five? And shouldn't I be grateful that you two now have to have video sex instead of messing up every layer of bedding I own all at once?"

"Felix, no, we're not having chat sex." Cosima paused after that to think. _But…maybe we could. Hypothetically. _Felix noticed Cosima drift off into thought-land, feeling the need to drag her back to reality with bacon and eggs.

"Thank you, kind sir." Cosima said gratefully, digging into their late-morning meal. Felix noticed that Cosima was suddenly too occupied with the eggs, keeping her head down.

"What?" He said, watching Cosima start to squirm.

"So…video chat sex. I guess that's not too different from phone sex. Also, not too different from shooting a porno, so…" Cosima continued to look at her eggs like they held the key to the universe somewhere in the part where the yolk met the white.

Felix couldn't help bust out laughing.

"I promise you, it's not like shooting a porno. And I would know." Cosima looked up, meeting Felix's little wink just in time to see it. "You're telling me you had a date marathon last night with Delphine and nothing happened?"

_Lots happened. Lots and lots. We talked for hours and it was wonderful. Seeing her eyes while we talk is all I can think about. _Cosima had all the things that did happen running through her head.

"It's not all about sex, Felix." She answered, instead of baring the inner-workings of her sensitive Sapphic heart. "We had a great night. We had a date."

Felix put his hands up in surrender. "I'm not criticizing, I'm just asking. I'm sure you two had a lovely time conducting a patchouli-scented drum circle while braiding each other's arm pit hair, but at some point human needs are going to kick in. Even for lesbians."

"From what I heard, yours kicked in about seventeen times last night. And we don't have arm pit hair." Cosima gave Felix her best evil eye, until she couldn't keep it up and had to start laughing with him.

"Well, as your least judgmental and thoroughly most supportive friend, I will just make it known that when it's your turn for the bedroom, I will make it a point to blast every song of my Madonna's greatest hits collection. Not a sound will be heard coming or going from your direction in case you need to explore your videography side."

Felix barely had time to duck before the bacon Cosima had whipped at him went sailing over his head.

* * *

><p>"Hello." Greta said to Delphine in the cafeteria, noticing the blonde was sitting all by herself, as usual. However, this time instead of spending ten minutes picking at a tray before giving up and going back up to work, Delphine was sitting while happily munching and doing a crossword puzzle. She seemed <em>much<em> more approachable than ever before. It both intrigued and irked Greta to no end.

"Hi." Delphine said back, smiling up.

"Mind if I sit here? I'm eating late today, so nobody that I really know is down here." Delphine nodded, moving things around on the table to make room for another tray. She noticed immediately that the woman spoke English with either an American or Canadian accent, not the usual German inflection she was becoming accustomed to.

"I'm Greta." The woman said. Delphine noticed immediately how the woman appeared to be balancing out the crisp, clinical, white lab coat look by making everything else darker: dark hair, dark eyeshadow, a black shirt on underneath.

"Delphine. You are American?" She casually threw out.

"Canadian, actually. But I did work at DYAD New York before being sent here. You're the one who always makes the American coffee, aren't you?" Delphine heard the New York accent immediately.

She nodded, finishing her mouthful of salad.

"_Oui_. I was at DYAD Canada in Toronto, but…I had a friend introduce me to some American products. I was surprised by how many American and Canadian things were actually identical, and some things were drastically different. Like the coffee." Delphine laughed, smiling brightly.

_Holy shit, this woman definitely go laid last night. That's gotta be it_, Greta thought to herself. If only the key to happiness at DYAD: Failed Monitor Headquarters, as she and Dr. Erikkson called it, were as simple as finding a new fuck buddy, half of the building would be dancing in the hallways.

"So, what are you in for?" Greta inquired bluntly.

"I'm sorry, what?" Delphine asked confused.

"Well, did you _ask_ for a transfer here?" Greta asked. She knew this Delphine character was a loner, but she didn't think that _nobody_ had explained anything to her before.

"No. I did not." Delphine said, immediately feeling her good mood start to slip away.

"Exactly. Neither did I. Neither did any of us." Greta said, watching Delphine's reaction carefully.

"So this is where they send people who don't want to be transferred? I have a hard time believing that DYAD has a headquarters just to make everyone miserable." Delphine said, _sure _that her situation with Cosima was unique.

"You find this hard to believe? Delphine, they can't kill us. There would be a body trail, and eventually everyone would know what they really do at the DYAD institute. They also can't fire us, we know too much. Think about it." Greta said, not knowing why she was lowering her voice. Everyone around the small building knew their predicament, and that they were powerless to do anything about it.

Delphine sat in shock. She most certainly had _not_ thought of a scenario where she was sent off to an entire office for employees who had misbehaved or outlived their usefulness.

"So back to my question. What are you in for? Unauthorized disclosure to a subject? Trying to interfere with an examination? Trying to leave the program? That's the most common one, especially for those of us who dated our clones. Not me, of course, but if you're tagged as a runner, you've basically signed up for DYAD Deustschland until death."

Delphine sat with her mouth hanging open. Were they _all_ monitors? The scientists, the security specialists, the businesspersons in their suits…sure, the German DYAD was much, much smaller than where she had been in Canada, but she still thought it wasn't possible.

_Or was it?_ She thought.

"Yes, Delphine. Welcome to the land of badly behaved monitors. Or, as we call it, monitor jail."

* * *

><p>As Cosima walked up the path to Mrs. S's house, she could honestly say this was the first time she was nervous to spend time with Sarah.<p>

When Kira had called earlier to ask Auntie Cosima to come over for dinner, she insisted, with Sarah's voice agreeing in the background, that it was okay with her parents. Cosima had smiled; Kira had been so settled in with Sarah and Cal playing house at Sioban Sadler's house that she regularly referred to them both as her parents. Of course, she agreed.

Then the nerves sat it. Sarah had appeared to change to supporting Cosima's outreach to find Delphine, but things were still strained, and she hadn't seen her at all in days. While Felix and Cosima could chat away for hours about their love lives, Sarah seemed to tense and quickly change the subject.

_Who doesn't she trust? Is it me or Delphine that she's more worried about? _

Cosima rang the doorbell, hearing Kira yell, "Auntie Cosima's here!" from five feet away before the door swung open.

"Hey, kiddo!" Cosima said, letting the little girl run into her arms. The child, not knowing any better, knocked into Cosima, who had to choke back a cough.

_Maybe I should have brought the oxygen tank._

"Auntie Cosima, Mrs. S. has been cooking all afternoon, and I have to show you my new toys that Cal brought me back from his business trip, and I have a science project that I have to show you, and yesterday I was at school, and.." Kira continued to rattle on and on, pulling Cosima into the house. Sarah smiled from the doorframe between the kitchen and the living area, noticing how the usually quiet and reserved little girl suddenly became quite the chatterbox whenever Cosima was around.

"Monkey, let's let Auntie Cosima get her coat off before we start pulling her in every direction, alright? Hi Cos." Sarah said, fully aware of how tense Cosima was.

"Hey. Hey Cal. Mrs. S." Cosima said, waiving at everyone who was in the kitchen. Cal was clearly taking the distraction as an opportunity to stick his fingers into the pot for a taste.

"Well hello, Cosima. You're looking well today." Mrs. S. said, seemingly genuinely pleased to see one of Sarah's sisters.

"Thanks. I guess I'm having a good week, you could say." Cosima said, looking back and forth between Cal, who were looking back and forth between each other.

"Glad you could make it. We've been waiting for Mrs. S.'s spaghetti sauce all day. We're about ready to dig in." He said with is usual charm. He and Mrs. S. went back to tending to the kitchen, while Sarah sent Kira upstairs to get her new things to show her Aunt.

"I'm glad you could make it too, Cosima." Sarah said, shoving her hands nervously in her pockets. The motion wasn't lost on Cosima.

Cosima immediately went to give Sarah a hug.

"Me too." She said, feeling Sarah pause for a moment before returning the hug with both arms. "I miss you guys." Cosima said pulling back and looking Sarah right in the face.

"I know what you mean." Sarah said, trying to convey everything with her eyes that she knew she wouldn't be able to with her words. "We've missed you a lot. And—I think that I don't want us missing each other anymore."

Cosima nodded, unsure of what to say. Sarah pulled her a little farther from the kitchen so they could talk privately before jamming her hands back in her pockets.

"Cosima, I'm…when I was not helping you find Delphine—I shouldn't have done things like that. I was just worried is all. I know that's a shite excuse, but I'm sort of new to this whole thinking about how my decisions affect other people thing. Not that they didn't before, I just didn't used to care so much." Sarah said.

"I know. I mean, it sucked at the time, but you've been okay with it now, right? Me still seeing Delphine." Cosima said, knowing damn well that if Sarah had said she wasn't okay with it she would still keep talking to Delphine, but she was extending the courtesy of a conversation with her sister.

"Yeah, yeah. Of course. It's just that after shit went down with Rachel, I've been a little edgy, right? And you know I've never trusted Delphine. So I just want you to know that I've had Cal digging around, and we think we can trust her. That's why we invited you over."

"Aw, and here I was just thinking you missed me." Cosima said, trying to lighten the mood.

"Shut up." Sarah said, giving her a slap on the arm. "We did miss you. But we're also going to have an adult conversation over dessert, after Kira's in bed, yeah?" Sarah said. "Besides," Sarah continued, "I know you really love her. Like the real deal, Cos, not like some passing fancy."

Cosima nodded, just in time to see Kira trying to make her way down the stairs carrying what looked like everything she's ever owned.

"Auntie Cosima you have to see my supplies. I have science stuff now! I have a chemistry set, and a microscope set, and one that makes little monkeys grow in water but they don't look at all like monkeys, and I don't know what this one does, but I thought you could show me." Kira started unpacking things in the living room.

"Better get to work, geek monkey." Sarah said, giving Cosima another playful slap.

* * *

><p>Felix had been so excited for another date with Frederick. He had the cocktail bar set up perfectly in the kitchen, he had changed his outfit seven times instead of the obligatory five to find the shirt that matched his eyes just right. He had multiple playlists ready to go at the touch of a button. Whipped cream, check. Lube, check. Takeout order, check.<p>

It wasn't lost on him that instead of having the perfect night that he planned with Frederick, the night seemed to have been tanking from the get-go.

Frederick usually chatted through dinner, laughing and joking with Felix easily. Today, Frederick seemed only interested in news or the weather, anything that was a safe topic to discuss with a stranger on the bus.

He also was shying away from physical contact. When Felix moved them from the kitchen to the couch with their drinks, the boy who had previously rammed his tongue right down Felix's mouth on their first night out together was sitting an arm's length away.

"Alright, pretty boy. Is my eyeliner smudged and you just don't want to tell me?" Felix finally said when he couldn't take anymore of the awkwardness.

Frederick looked up sheepishly. "No, love. Your eyeliner is perfect, as always."

"Then what's going on? You're more tense than an Icelandic anus. Bad day at the bar?"

_Gosh, he's perfect_, Frederick thought to himself.

"Did you ever feel like you're trying to get to know someone you don't know at all?" _Like me?_ He continued in his head.

"No, I've never felt that way Frederick. What's this all about? What do you want to know about me?" Felix ventured bravely, beginning to gulp his mojito rather than politely sip.

"I just…we don't really _know_, each other, you know? Like we're getting very seriously very quickly. Okay, that's not how I wanted that to come out, like I'm a commitment-phobe or something. Just that, I don't know if you would be so quick to invite me over if you really knew me. That's all." Frederick looked down, knowing how insecure he sounded at the moment to the man he had been seeing while spying on. He felt like such an asshole, full well knowing that's exactly what he had been.

"Frederick, sweetheart. I do know you. I might not know the things you know after years with someone. I know the things that matter." Frederick looked up to meet Felix's eyes.

"I know how you take your coffee in the morning." That one got a chuckle out of Frederick. It was probably the top of his list in a mate. Felix waited before continuing.

"I know that you never order anything even remotely spicy for dinner, so I'll take the sign that you have a weak stomach as a bonus, since I never really have to worry about pepper breath. I know that you wear tastefully put together thrift store clothing so that you can buy Calvin Klein's Eternity, also appreciated, might I add." Frederick was starting to relax. Maybe Felix really did enjoy his company as much as he enjoyed Felix.

"And I know you're my monitor."

The only reason at that moment that Frederick's jaw was not on the floor was because it surely would have hit his lap first on the way down.


	7. High Speed Connection

_Author's warning: for those of you who read out and about, this is the point where we are going NSFW! Just a heads up. Do not open at work, clone club!_

* * *

><p>Delphine came home at 6pm, immediately opening the laptop. She always came home and immediately flipped open the laptop at the end of the day, but after what she had learned from Greta, she flew over to the box of wires with urgency.<p>

It appeared that Cosima had been waiting for her urgently as well, seeing just how many messages Cosima had started sending over the last fifteen minutes.

_**Delphine, are you home yet?**_

_**Are you there?**_

_**Delphine! Sign on when you see this.**_

_**DELPHINE.**_

"I am here, Cosima." Delphine started typing in the DarkNet chat. It hadn't been more than a second since she confirmed her presence before the camera chat clicked on immediately with what looked like a completely sleep deprived Cosima.

"Delphine, we need to talk. Cal and Sarah have dug up a bunch of stuff on DYAD Deutschland so I hope you're home for the night." Cosima said frantically.

"Yes, I am home for the evening now. And I've been getting some information as well from my fellow scientists. Let's just say that nobody else here was transferred voluntarily either. Anybody who is not German and didn't start at this location is a former monitor." Delphine felt the adrenaline from earlier return, but knew that if she started talking as frantically as Cosima, she would most likely start slipping into French, a habit when she was overly upset and talking too fast for her mind to catch up in English.

"I know." Cosima said, seeming relieved that Delphine was in on the information. "They were selected for the program you're in based on whenever they first started with DYAD. You're doing jobs nobody can apply for."

"Right. I am hearing from the others that this is where they send monitors who have outlived their usefulness or have broken too many rules and can't be used as monitors anymore." The blond sat at the table, putting both elbows on the wood surface so that she could start running both hands through her hair.

"Well, sort of." Cosima started, seeing Delphine immediately perk up. "It's not that they're no longer useful, it's that they went through their probationary period as a monitor, and then they know enough to do the real work that DYAD does. Think of being a monitor as an entry-level position."

"Entry level? Monitoring human clones is _entry level_? Do you know I had my entire Doctoral committee from my immunology department writing letters to get me into DYAD, and even then it took some pulling of strings before I was even allowed to file the mail?" Delphine wasn't following Cosima, but she was at least interested in what Cal and Sarah had found. She also thought the idea of being in monitor isolation was absolutely plausible after spending the last four years seeing how DYAD works.

"Yes. It's all part of the same project. Delphine, tell me, are the other scientists there microbiologists and immunologists as well? Who also happened to have been monitors?"

"Yes." Delphine had spent the day chatting in and out with Greta, and then Dr. Erikkson. They both had advanced degrees, they both had been monitors, they both had been force transferred, and they both worked on clone-related biology, although they hadn't gone far enough in their few limited conversations to really get into everyone's projects.

"So if you and I were setting up an experiment with let's say live subjects, wouldn't we put our newest and most inexperienced team members on rat watch instead of actually doing the science? Think about monkey trials. Whose job is it to watch the monkeys?" Cosima stared right at Delphine's face, hoping she would get it.

Judging by the looks on Delphine's face, things were starting to click.

"I'm opening a bottle of wine." Delphine said, her face falling. How could she not have seen this as the structure from the beginning?

"I don't blame you. I've already had some today. Anyway, we're the monkeys. Well, it's like they made their own monkeys, and then we're the lab monkeys that they also own while the experiment is happening. But seriously, did Leekie never mention why we were made?" Cosima ventured.

"I thought you were made to see if human cloning was possible. Sometimes science for science sake is what gets the funding." Delphine said, suddenly feeling foolish. Would a for-profit really be interested in science for science sake? Even if they could own and eventually profit off of the patent?

"Delphine, what was DYAD founded on?" Delphine rolled her eyes, seeing that Cosima insisted on giving her information in the twenty-questions format.

"Immunizations. We know this. Where are you going with this Cosima?" Delphine was getting fidgety. She was hoping Cosima would just spit it out, and the wine seemed to not be calming her nerves.

"Right. Immunizations, disease treatment, cures. Delphine, they made us barren with an autoimmune disease on purpose. And it wasn't just so that we wouldn't reproduce. It's so we _would_ _have_ an auto-immune disorder."

That's when the final piece to the puzzle clicked into place. Delphine's mouth hung open.

_How did I not put this together?_

"They made you sick on purpose. It was the objective, not the side effect, which means that Ethan Duncan lied right to my face. If they can cure a degenerative auto-immune with stem cells in their, forgive me for the term, but their monkeys first, they would have the cure to just about any auto-immune disorder. They wanted you all to get sick so they could find the cure and own the treatment." Delphine sat back, letting out a deep breath. It was every scientist's dream. Create, patent, copyright, own.

"Exactly. You were watching me because they were expecting me to get sick. Starting the disease is as important as learning to stop it. It's actually genius if you think about it. Evil genius, but genius nonetheless." Cosima was torn. As soon as Cal started showing her the photos on his phone that he had taken of the documents Marion had given him access to, she admired the approach scientifically. If they could create the ultimate disease, using test subjects of their own creation, they could cure it, virtually curing anything related. On the other hand, she was having a hard time wrapping her mind around the idea that she was basically created as a lab rat in the most literal sense.

Delphine seemed to have similar thoughts swirling around, her mind spinning with the wine aerating in her glass. The more she swirled the cheap red, the more her mind seemed to spin its wheels.

"So they want to cure auto-immune disorders. I can't say I'm surprised. That's what I originally wanted to work on fresh out of graduate school." Delphine paused, letting Cosima have time to nod before continuing. "But I had no idea that the clones were made specifically to be sick so that we could cure them. It's unethical."

"Unethical doesn't even begin to cover it. It's like, I'm glad I exist, of course. But now that I know it's so that a company can make millions-"

"Billions." Delphine corrected, thinking about how much they would make off of the treatments that DYAD alone would own, having their own resources to experiment on. "You _cost_ millions to make, well, you all did together. You would make them billions. If they could make the ultimate cure for any auto-immune disorder, and they were the only ones on the planet who could make it and sell it, I don't think trillions would be out of the question either." Delphine refilled her glass. She was about to offer Cosima a glass, before remembering that they indeed were still talking through a screen.

"I mean, should I be happy that I exist to cure maybe a million people with things as terrible as I have? Or people with things that are even worse?" Cosima looked like she didn't believe the words she was choosing to say.

"Maybe. But they also created you to make you sick. And they hired me hoping to fix it." Delphine thought back to the stories of the other scientists. Sure, they had, like Delphine, also crossed some lines with their subjects. But they seemed like minor offenses; they were moments of desperation because they cared.

In fact, she thought about it, that typical monitor story made sense too, considering the larger picture.

"Cosima, I think that I am part of the experiment." She said slowly, still thinking it over.

"Well, duh. Your job is to fix me."

"Yes, but I mean more than that. I have never met a monitor that didn't like their subject. They always either end up as best friends or lovers. I think that's their insurance policy that we will find a cure. We're not here because we were careless, we're here because we care so much they know we won't rest until we cure our subjects." Delphine thought back, acknowledging how deep she was in.

_Then I love all of you. _

"I have to say that I don't love that they're going to make bank out of our misery, but I know you can cure me. Us. They made this as difficult as possible. We were put in different homes in different countries to ensure our disease would be truly genetic and not influenced by lifestyle. It is a pure disease, it's pristine. I know your background—I think you can do this, Delphine."

"Of course I'm going to do this." _Even though I've been manipulated into finding the love of my life and had it ripped away in the process_.

Delphine was angry. Cosima was not a lab rat or monkey. She was a living, warm-bodied woman who made her feel more in less than a year than she had felt in the thirty years leading up to meeting her.

"I'm not going to do this because I'm forced to. I'm doing this because I love you. All of you. But I _love_ you."

Cosima smiled at that.

"So I guess that means I'm still your girlfriend?"

"You're still my everything." Delphine answered seriously. And she was _so_ serious; Cosima could feel the heat of her gaze through the webcam, burning through her body.

Cosima watched as Delphine's pupils dilated, as she licked her lips. It was a look she had seen many times in person, but found it hard to read through the video. Delphine _needed_ Cosima, in every way, and especially in that moment.

* * *

><p>"Good. Bring him in so I can kick his ass." Sarah shouted into the cell phone.<p>

Felix was in Frederick's car outside of Mrs. S.'s house, calling before coming in. Most of the conversation that Frederick could hear was one sided, until Sarah had started shouting loud enough for him to hear both sides.

"That's fair." Frederick answered, ready to take his ass kicking. He knew he deserved it, even as he replayed the last week through in his head. He really had no idea how to do anything differently. At least, without either pissing off Rachel to a detrimental level or without giving up Felix, which at this point he was in no way willing to do.

"No, that's not fair." Felix said as much to Frederick as Sarah. "Look, just hear him out, alright? Like I'm the only sister to shag a monitor. Shouldn't you be welcoming me into the club or something? Am I the only one who doesn't get a Cosmo from Carrie and Samantha?"

"Fe, can you stop and think before you do things with your dick? Are you capable of it?"

"I want to bring him in. Just give him a chance. If it were a simple ass-kicking I would've handled that myself. He's on our side." Felix said, pausing to let Sarah continue ranting.

"Oh, he's on _our_ side, Felix? Does he even know what our side is? Does he know who he's working for?"

"You mean who he's being blackmailed by?" Felix floated out, starting to let out more on the phone than he really wanted to. Apparently a civilized conversation over some tea was not on the agenda for the day. He didn't want to outright add the "like Paul" to the end of that sentence, knowing it was implied well enough.

"Fine. Bring him inside. He has five minutes to convince me not to kick his ass." Sarah hung up, giving Felix the time to take a deep breath before turning to Frederick.

"Well, she's taking it better than I expected."

"How can you tell?" Frederick asked sheepishly, slouched down in the driver's seat.

"I was actually expecting her to come charging out here in full Joan of Ark mode swinging before I got to explain anything. Maybe Pilates with Alison is helping her work out her aggression."

* * *

><p>"Delphine, is it time for bed there already?" Cosima asked chuckling, seeing the background on the screen change. Delphine was moving the laptop, still pointed at her face, going from kitchen, through dining area, then finally to her bedroom. Cosima noticed that the walls were bare throughout. Delphine hadn't bothered to unpack everything, much less decorate.<p>

_Good. That'll make her move back here easier._

"It's time for bed. For _us_ to go to bed." Delphine put the laptop down on the bed, with the camera still pointed on her.

"But I'm not tired." Cosima whined. She just went through entirely too much information all at once to even think about calming down. Staring at Delphine's face the whole time and not being able to actually touch it or kiss her was an additional drain, one that no matter how much time they spent chatting she never really moved past.

"Good." Delphine reached to the bottom of her sweater, pulling the shirt over her head. Cosima waited, expecting Delphine to put on a pajama shirt.

Delphine looked right at Cosima, twisting her arms behind her own body to unhook her bra, pulling the lace material away and tossing it on the floor. Again, Cosima waited, watching, while Delphine made no move to put a new shirt on. Two deep brown eyes stared right back at her, with more emotions tangled up in the gaze than a mouth could ever catch up to speak.

"Delphine?" Cosima asked, knowing full well that she was no longer looking at Delphine's face. _At all. _Then she wondered for a brief moment if Delphine could even tell.

"Cosima, I need you right now." Delphine said, sitting topless on her bed, hoping Cosima understood. If they were in the same room, she would have already ripped off Cosima's clothes and had her on her back. Now she would have to learn how to maneuver without Cosima's actual body. She had already given up so much; she had given up most of the relationship. She wasn't going to give up this too.

Cosima swallowed and nodded, not sure how to proceed. She had never actually done this before but she knew she wanted to. She had actually been thinking about it quite a bit since Felix first brought up the idea over bacon and eggs. The irony of the reality that she was doing a first with Delphine wasn't lost on her.

"Okay, gimme a sec." Cosima walked her laptop into the bedroom, happy that Felix was out with Frederick at Mrs. S.'s. She quickly shut the curtains around the bed area, taking off her shirt with her back to the laptop, leaving on her bra.

She shyly turned around, not expecting to see Delphine staring at her like a lioness about to pounce. Delphine was still topless, in full view.

"I've never…" Cosima started, before looking down and laughing at herself.

"I haven't either." Delphine answered. Cosima nodded, slowly reaching around to take off her bra. Delphine watched every bit of the material as it slowly slid off of the smooth shoulders, opening the clone's entire torso to her gaze. They took a moment looking at each other; looking at the parts they could both remember very well and hardly remember the distant feel of at all.

"What do we do?" Cosima whispered out, taking in Delphine's form as much as the blonde absorbed the sight of her own body.

Delphine bit her own lip, contemplating without once breaking her stare.

_What do we do? _Delphine had no idea, but she had to do _something_.

Cosima watched as Delphine laid on her side, stretching out, running her hand gently up her own mid section, running her palms over her breasts, eyes locked on Cosima. The dreadlocked clone was immediately torn between keeping her eyes locked with Delphine's and allowing her pupils to travel along with the hand.

"Do you remember when you used to do this?" Delphine asked, moving the hand over her body the way Cosima used to, never staying in one place too long, moving in circles and long strokes around her skin.

"Yes." Cosima whispered out, unable to stop watching. She swallowed, watching Delphine's nipples start to perk up. She followed Delphine's hand up over her stomach, to the middle of her chest. She watched the fingertips swirl around before palming a breast again, giving the nipple a tug before moving down to start the circuit all over again.

Cosima didn't hear herself moan, but Delphine heard it. She smiled. _She still wants me_, she thought.

"Mmmm." Delphine let out, letting her eyes slip closed for a second to feel the touches. Truth be told, she was turned on by how intently Cosima was watching, not from what her hand was doing. She could hear Cosima's breath starting to come out in strong puffs.

Delphine's moan immediately affected the smaller woman on the other side of the ocean, Cosima involuntarily moving her hips against the bed, never taking her eyes off of Delphine.

Besides the occasional moan from Delphine and panting from Cosima, the two were silent, staring at each other. Delphine smiled at Cosima's gasp when she moved her hands lower to unbutton her pants.

The blonde thought she should feel shy. Or she should be more hesitant. At that moment, she knew nothing else existed outside of her and the woman on her screen watching her every move.

"Oh. My. God. Delphine." She heard Cosima whisper out, as she watched the blonde's dark jeans and panties being pulled down long, silky legs. She settled back on her side, making sure the camera could fit her body from her face until right at her upper thigh. The wandering hand resumed its path, looping down to include the inner thigh, tugging lightly at the light brown triangle of hair before slowly moving back up.

Delphine saw Cosima shift her hips involuntarily, almost uncomfortably.

_She's wet_, Delphine thought. _She does that when she's soaked. _

"Cosima?" She asked in a low voice.

"Mmm hmm." Cosima answered, not moving her eyes from the hand.

"Can you-too?" Delphine asked. That seemed to bring Cosima's attention back for a moment.

Cosima nodded, taking a breath, hoping that would get her arms moving. She quickly pulled off her skirt and rolled down her stockings, turning back to Delphine's eyes.

She could tell Delphine was looking right into her face as she hooked her thumbs into her panties. She paused, seeing Delphine's tongue slip out to lick her lips, before pulling down the last of her clothing.

_She still shaves_, Delphine noticed. The blonde's mouth watered, remember what the smooth skin used to feel like in her mouth, how she would always move her tongue over the skin and lips before ever tasting inside.

Cosima lay down on her side, mimicking Delphine's position. Delphine's hand was still moving, but concentrating lower, palming over her center. Cosima groaned when she saw one of Delphine's fingers dip inside.

The clone wasted no time moving her own hand right to her pussy, feeling her wetness flowing onto the outer lips. She knew her nipples were standing straight up even without having touched them. She watched Delphine's hand slowly stroke up and down, her middle finger coated in liquid.

Delphine was stroking and panting, and it had the clone incredibly overheated. The soft lighting of Delphine's bedroom naturally made it feel intimate.

"_Cosima." _Delphine moaned out, focusing on her clit. Cosima touched herself, watching Delphine use two fingers to move in steady circles, seeing her abdominal muscles start to quiver.

"You are so gorgeous." Cosima breathed out, seeing Delphine's eyes on her. She saw the blonde's fingers pull away from her center.

"Don't stop." Cosima whined. "Please." Cosima focused her eyes back on the light brown orbs looking back at her, following the fingers as they moved upward.

Delphine put her own fingers in her mouth, causing Cosima to moan out loudly, moving her own hand harder against her swollen nub.

"I will not stop if you don't." Came her answer, as the fingers left the tongue to go back down to sticky lips. Delphine looked sensual. Cosima could see the little movements her hips were making to meet her hand, starting to pant in time with her partner on the screen.

Delphine watched Cosima touch herself, hearing the little whimpers. She could hear how wet she was, the moist sounds and their breathing filling each other's rooms.

When Delphine's hips started moving harder, Cosima's own hips moved faster to keep up, panting in unison.

"I want to see you come." The clone barely growled out, moving her hand faster and faster as she watched the blonde flush and moan.

Delphine nodded, and slipped her eyes closed, focusing on her hand. She was moving roughly on her clit, feeling the intense wave starting up. She decided to change her strokes, moving quickly from side to side, the way Cosima touches her, instead of her own up and down motion.

It was enough, enough extra little Cosima touch to push her head back, veins and muscles straining in her neck. Cosima watched the long, lean body arch, the hand stopping its movement to press as thighs stopped shaking for a moment, the orgasm stiffening everything in its path.

Delphine let out a long breath, opening her eyes in time to see Cosima shake in time with her long "ooooooh" of her own wave of pleasure, before collapsing completely on her side. She let Cosima catch her breath, propping herself back up on her elbow. She noticed after a few breaths that Cosima did not prop herself back up, and she could hear the clone's breathing becoming difficult.

"Cosima? Are you okay?" She asked, panicking. Cosima had _looked_ healthy when they started, so Delphine had not even questioned if Cosima was well enough for an intimate moment.

She saw the mess of dreadlocks move up, with Cosima's tear-stricken face moving back up into camera view.

"I'm fine." Cosima said, softly crying, trying to wipe away the tears.

"I thought I was the one who cried after sex." Delphine said, reaching out to the face in front of her before remembering she wouldn't feel Cosima's skin.

Cosima looked down for a moment, steadying her breath.

"I'm sorry. It's just—the last time I had an orgasm was the last time you were here to give me one." Cosima said looking right into Delphine's eyes.

"Me too." Delphine said quickly, which seemed to relieve Cosima. "It's quite a release, no?" Delphine asked smiling softly. She moved the laptop in so the camera only covered her head and upper torso, moving them seemingly closer. Cosima quickly did the same.

Cosima laughed. "I guess we can say that." Delphine giggled back. "I don't know if I would call one of the top five erotic experiences of my life simply 'a release' though."

"So this was…okay with you?" Delphine asked tentatively. She hadn't actually ran the idea past Cosima before deciding she needed her clothes off. If she had actually vocalized her intent, she may not have had the nerve.

"Yeah. Yeah, it is. It's more than okay." Cosima beamed. She felt relaxed for the first time in ages. She felt close to Delphine for the first time in longer than that. "Somehow you manage to have this effect on me even from a thousand miles away."

Delphine by that point had completely forgotten about the clusterfuck of DYAD life, about Cosima's clone-ness, about all of the pressures and all of the questions that had no answers that generally circled their lives and relationships. Instead, for the next several hours, she and Cosima were just two people who had normal desires and emotions.


	8. Noun: Of Two, A Pair

_A.N. - Sorry this took so long! I had to take some time to map out in my head how the next few chapters needed to unfold, so I'm hoping a moderate-length chapter while I'm putting this together is a peace-offering for disappearing :)_

* * *

><p>Mrs. S. handed Felix, Frederick, and Sarah their respective ice packs wrapped in towels, having separated them and put them on different chairs, effectively putting them in clone time-out while they tended to their newly minted bruises.<p>

"Are we all settled, then?" Sarah had lasted about ten seconds before lunging at Frederick after he walked in the house. Felix had made the mistake of trying to jump in the center. The scuffled turned into what Mrs. S. identified from the kitchen as a rugby scrum in the center of the living room, not really able to tell who was punching and kicking whom. Judging from the gashes on both of the boys, she also imagined there was a bit of biting, but who could really even tell at this point?

She started picking up the pieces of the broken coffee table.

"Sorry. I kind of lost it there." Sarah said sheepishly.

"I'll say you did." She answered. "New rule in this house. We let our guests speak before deciding they deserve a good pummel, alright?"

Frederick and Felix sat nodding along, too afraid of Sarah at the moment to say anything.

"Right then. Start talking, pretty boy." Sarah turned to glare at Frederick, enjoying that he had the sense to gulp. He had to choose his next words very, very carefully.

"It's okay." Felix said, putting his hand on the larger man's arm. Frederick took a breath, not sure where to start. Does one look a growling lion in the mouth and begin chronologically or in order of importance?

Sarah noticed the internal struggle of the man, and started losing her patience.

"Start by answering me this: why does my brother have a monitor? He's not a clone." Sarah said, beyond pissed that yet again her life was dragging Felix down.

"He's not supposed to. Since Rachel lost her eye, she's taken some liberties with her functions at DYAD. I don't know everything, but there's some type of split. There's one woman in charge who doesn't get along with Rachel but has to play nice. I've only seen her once, and she doesn't get along with Rachel." He paused, knowing he was being vague, but he really didn't know all of the details.

"Rachel has been using her resources for 'monitors', if we're still going to call it that, as just a way to keep an eye on people. I'm supposed to watch Felix to make sure he's not helping you go AWOL." Frederick slumped down. It truly did sound terrible once he said it out loud.

"AWOL? Like what, leave the country?"

"Yeah, I suppose. I didn't really question the motives. And I _really_ did not sign up for this. Rachel—she has my sister. My sister was a _real_ monitor, on a clone and everything. She started sharing too much of the truth and the science with her subject, and Rachel had her transferred out of the country. If I didn't tail Felix, she would never tell me where she was. I would never get to see her again." Frederick sighed. It was clicking in his head just how much Rachel owned him at this point.

"Where was she transferred?" Sarah asked, not finding Frederick's excuses to be good enough, but at least it sounded like she could milk him for information.

"Germany." He said, shifting the ice in the pack around to cover more of his face. "So far we've gotten limited writing privileges back for both playing along. I have to send it to a P.O. Box, they won't even let her release her address. But for a few weeks, she had disappeared completely. She wasn't even able to get a letter to me through the regular mail. I didn't even know whom Rachel was until a few months ago, much less whom she was working for. The woman who she doesn't get along with—she has somewhat of a treaty with her. They've divided up clones and DYAD resources through negotiations. You're supposed to be hands-off to Rachel, so she has been trying to find a way to keep an eye on you since she can't officially monitor you."

Things started to click on her mind as she looked over at Felix who nodded smugly.

"I told you not to swing at him." He said, watching Sarah slump back into the cushions, moving her ice pack up to her head.

* * *

><p>"Shit!" Cosima yelled at her laptop, standing up suddenly to stare the screen down. "Shit, shit, SHIT, shit, shitty shit!" Cosima started pacing with her hand on her forehead.<p>

Alison was amazed, really. It was the most dramatic she had ever seen Cosima. She was torn between watching the outburst as a character study and between finding out what was going on.

"SHIT." Cosima said, plopping back down, pulling her glasses off to pinch the bridge of her nose.

"Delphine busy today?" Alison threw out, keeping her distance from what looked to be the start of a meltdown.

"No. Nothing like that. It's much worse. Oh, it's _much, _much worse, Alison." Cosima said, still keeping her eyes closed, now rubbing her temples. Alison waiting patiently for an explanation, once Cosima got the outburst out of her system.

"My parents booked a plane ticket to visit me." Cosima groaned out.

"Here?! Does Felix know? I mean, Cosima, you're his roommate and all, but I thought they didn't even know about…" Alison tapped the oxygen tank over by the table that luckily hadn't been needed in more than a few days.

"No, they booked plane tickets to visit me. _In Minnesota_. You know, where they still think I'm working on a Ph. D." Cosima said, letting the gravity of the situation sink in.

"You never told them?"

"Told them that I dropped out of my fully-funded doctoral program to work as a professional clone scientist? No, Alison, I didn't tell them. They think I've spent the last year too busy with my research in Minnesota to visit them." Cosima started running through emergency anxiety substances in her head. Coffee? No, she would get more jittery. Ice cream? For periods and post-sex. Cigarettes? That was Delphine's thing, since she had only had four in her entire life, and three were with Delphine.

Alison, seemingly reading Cosima's mind, brought to the table a bottle of whatever Felix was pretending was whiskey that week, and a wooden box so ugly Alison only imagined it hid a stash, since no one in their right mind would consider using it for jewelry unless riding on a very tiny, dirty pirate ship.

"So are you going to tell them the truth?" Alison asked, sitting on the couch next to Cosima. She could clearly see the email with the scanned image of a plane ticket from what she assumed was one of Cosima's parents.

Cosima just looked at her with her mouth hanging open.

"Okay, half-truth? You could just tell them you transferred to the University of Toronto."

"I can't…I can't bring them here. Into all of this. That's not even remotely safe."

"Well, you're not well enough to fly, or we know you'd be in Germany right now voluntarily being kept prisoner with Delphine."

Cosima thought for a moment. Was she well enough to fly?

"Alison, I haven't needed the oxygen tank at all in over a week." Alison's eyes immediately doubled in size as her eyebrows shot up.

"Cosima, no. Absolutely not. I forbid it. You can't go from just a week with no oxygen to breathing in recycled air in a tube." Alison crossed her arms. "Do you know how many germs are on a plane? In an airport? On those _seats?_ It's not like they disinfect anything between flights."

"I'm doing very well, actually. And I only need a treatment once every week or two. I could potentially travel without even needed a platelet cocktail. I mean, I'm not stupid. I won't just jump on a trans-Atlantic flight, but I could handle going to Minnesota. And for the record, money that you touch every day is dirtier than a public bathroom. A plane is fine, germ-wise." Cosima grinned as she started to put together the pieces in her head.

"Then I'm coming with you. You can't just get on a plane alone after almost dying."

"No, I need you for something else." Alison looked at Cosima using her best motherly intimidation, waiting for her to continue.

"Do you know how to roll a joint?" Cosima asked, grinning widely.

* * *

><p>Delphine sat across the table in her small and undecorated dining room, staring down Greta. The two hadn't begun a friendship so much as a sharing-information partnership. The two knew things that could be shared with the other, yet neither of them was ready to completely trust another person at DYAD.<p>

They had settled into a one-for-one trade, with Greta smuggling Delphine documents about DYAD and the clones, and in return, today Delphine was going to show Greta how she maintained contact with the outside world.

Delphine opened the laptop, turning it so the could both see the screen.

"It just looks like a regular computer. This doesn't help me."

"That's because it is. It's both complicated and not complicated at all…Greta, you've gotten me some great papers, but remember, this is a big risk I'm taking." Delphine said nervously, knowing if Greta were to betray her, she would lose her only window to Cosima.

And she knew if that point ever came, she would snap.

"I know. I have the information for you. Just…I've already put more in the pot that you have. Show me what to do." Greta said, thinking about all of the pain she would cause Delphine, personally and professionally, if she backed out of promising her she could talk to her brother one day.

"Okay. The first thing I did was get rid of my virus protection software, my pop-up blockers, I enabled cookies…I did everything you can do so that things can get onto the system." Greta nods, as Delphine moved the mouse around, showing her where to go on the desktop to go back and do all of those things on her own computer.

"Then I sprinkled throughout things that would flag to my…" Delphine paused. Was this the point where she was going to come out to the maybe-but-maybe-not-trustworthy coworker? She couldn't bring herself to say the word 'clone', much less the even colder and less human 'subject'.

"Cosima. Her name is Cosima." Delphine said, swearing she could see the woman's dark eyes soften for just a moment, trying to remain hidden under the gruff exterior.

"Anyway, I opened up the highway. Then I put signs all over the highway. I put up research papers she'd recognize, songs in my iTunes she'd recognize, just put up all kinds of stuff that flags that it's you without literally saying 'help I'm at DYAD'. Be…yourself, but be tactful." Greta nodded eagerly.

"Right. Then how do you get them?" She asked.

"You don't. She found me. I opened everything up so that if she were looking, she'd be able to get me. Oh! And I put on a remote desktop and made the password easy to guess."

"Let me guess. It's 'password'." Greta deadpanned.

"See? You're a natural." Delphine smiled, even getting a chuckle out of Greta.

"My brother…and Danielle, my…" Greta seemed to grapple with terminology as much as Delphine. The blonde waited patiently, understanding that inner-monologue all too well.

"My best friend. My brother and my best friend won't know how to find me. They're not computer savvy on a regular day, much less tracking someone through wires. It took my brother weeks to figure out how to address a simple postcard out of the country."

Just then, Delphine's video chat rang. She hesitated for a moment, wondering what Cosima would think if she were to answer with another person there. Then she also wondered if Cosima would even be calling her with all of her clothes on.

Greta looked too excited not to answer with her there, so she clicked on the green button, immediately pulling up a thankfully fully-clothed Cosima.

"Delphine! I…umm, hellooooo…" Cosima trailed off, seeing the dark-haired woman on the opposite side of the screen.

"Cosima! I'm so glad you called. This is Greta. She's like me. She was sent here against her will too. I'm showing her how to open her computer for, how might you say, similar reasons to us?" Delphine said, trying to use facial expressions and hand motions to get Cosima to get what was going on.

"Oh! She's another monitor." Cosima said, not sure how she should feel about that. She both immediately distrusted the woman, and immediately felt like she needed to help her.

"Yes, she's another monitor who's been sneaking us those documents." Delphine said, knowing Cosima had already read everything she scanned in the day before.

"Oh my gosh! I should be thanking you, Dr…"

"Greta. And it's no trouble. If Delphine can really teach me to speak to the outside world, it's worth the sneaking around." She said.

"Actually, Delphine, a lot of the documents are really interesting. I mean, not just for spying on DYAD purposes or for my illness, but for looking at genetics as a whole."

"You're sick?" Greta asked, cocking her head to the side. Delphine had never mentioned that her clone was sick.

Cosima nodded, wondering if she's said too much.

"With _it_?" The implication wasn't lost on Cosima or Delphine. The blonde briefly wondered if that was how people in the Middle Ages referred to the plague, wondering immediately what the chances of survival were.

Cosima nodded again, suddenly feeling very vulnerable in front of the scientist who was still a stranger to her.

"That's what I'm working on. The cure." Delphine added.

"How long?" Greta asked.

"How long have I had symptoms?" Cosima asked, feeling Greta studying her.

The dark-haired scientist was indeed studying her, noticing that she did not have an oxygen tank that she was sitting up and conversing without coughing.

_It's either very early, or very late_ she thought to herself, not really knowing which is better.

"Months. I started coughing up blood maybe eight months ago, then it got really bad a couple of months ago, but then we started a homemade treatment to tide me over until Delphine can turn off the portion of my DNA causing the growths."

"Eight months, and you've already discovered the way to modify platelets to coast you along?" Greta asked, looking between Cosima and Delphine, who were looking back at her completely shocked.

"Already? You know about this treatment method, Greta?" She thought back to the documents she had Greta smuggle out about DYAD and their history for her. She hadn't actually asked for anything on the illness, assuming she already had all of it, and she had what she hoped to be a cure cooking in an incubator as they were speaking.

"Yes, there is a reason many of the clones survive this…trying period. And a reason why most of the monitors are scientists or close to one. It's supposed to be Darwinism running its course, I suppose, but we just help it along. If you've made it this long, it should start regressing on its own by the end of the year."

Cosima hadn't said a peep through any of Greta's explanation, still in complete shock.

"It regresses _on its own_?" Delphine choked out. "What about the ones who have died from it? I thought we were supposed to find a cure?! We've done an autopsy on a woman who _died_, Greta, we know it can kill." Delphine got up and started pacing with he hand on her forehead, now completely confused.

"Yes. It's an autoimmune disease meant to progress, kill _some_, but allow the fittest to survive. It's engineered Darwinism. If you made it this long," She started, turning her attention back to Cosima, "you'll be fine. In fact, your constructed your blood-based Band-Aid is probably not even helping anymore. Your tumors should be retreating all on their own."

Delphine sat back down on the chair, speechless. She felt the 'ultimate money-making cure' theory going right out the window.

"Well, I guess that's a good thing, considering the original reason I was calling." Cosima piped up, unable to address the whale that was just unloaded on her just yet without taking some time to mull it over.

Delphine and Greta stared at her, waiting for her to continue. Delphine was still in somewhat of an intellectual haze, the likes of which were matched only by the first time she had encountered Pythagorean mathematics and its applications to human DNA.

"I'm flying to Minnesota this weekend…to meet up with my parents."

Just when Delphine thought she had enough surprises for one evening, there was her jaw, yet again in her own lap.

* * *

><p>Delphine was up long after Greta had left, and long after she stayed up to chat with Cosima, trying to convince her that yes, the disease might be retreating but no, she probably shouldn't be on a plane just yet, even a short flight.<p>

After arguing what she knew was a losing battle from the get-go, they said goodnight, and Delphine immediately started going through the documents Greta had gotten copies of for her.

One strange thing about the documents, whether newly minted and full of complex scanned images or from the old DYAD days when everything was hand written or typed on an actual typewriter, nothing every said what DYAD stood for. The capitals on the title suggested an acronym, but for the life of her, she couldn't understand _what_, or if it was even an acronym for something in English.

She thought about the general term, what a 'dyad' is. The word itself implies two, like two strands of DNA. The term 'dyad' she had only used in her life before her employment with the shadiest of organizations to describe double chromosomes, knowing the base of the word simply meant "of two".

As a scientist, she knew that sometimes researchers made things more complicated, expecting an uphill battle from the get-go. Sometimes, the word with meaning was sitting there right in front of her face, begging to be read as is.

She looked up the etymology of the word "dyad", seeing that its roots were in Greek, meaning "of two", or, a "pair".

In old Greek. Like project "Leda" and "Castro", from Greek mythology. As in, two strands.

Whatever the meaning, Delphine knew she too was now intertwined with another, and she'd be damned if she was letting Cosima fly to Minnesota by herself.


	9. Planes, Trains, and Automobiles

_Okay, so this was initially part of the last chapter, and I split it up so there wasn't a monster chapter sitting on here. I was going to space them out but I figured what the hell, since who knows when I'm finishing the next chapter, I might as well just upload this in the meantime. Here you go! And yes, that means I have no idea when I'm updating lol but hopefully I won't take that long._

* * *

><p>"No, use the grinder first. Here." Cosima handed Alison the grinder, showing her how to pick out the stems and seeds. Truthfully, she preferred the little "pops" of smoking with the stems, but if Alison was going to be convincing as Cosima, she needed to know how to do this.<p>

"Does it really make a difference? And it's not like I've never smoked a joint before." Alison said in a huff.

Cosima looked at her sister, with her eyebrows raised.

"You have?"

"Of course. I went to college." _And I slept with Anysley's husband the last time I smoked up_, she thought, leaving out her most recent pot-related endeavors.

"Alright then, big plant-medicine expert, roll it up." Cosima said, putting her hands up in surrender.

Cosima had been surprised when Alison had actually shown up. Sure, she _said_ that she was sending Donnie camping with the kids so she could be Cosima's proxy, but she hadn't actually expected the most uptight soccer mom she had ever met to go along with it. Now, she was over for character training.

She watched as Alison rolled, with the double-paper technique, a fairly even joint, even sealing it with her mouth in that way that Cosima knew should be disgusting but for some reason never mattered when it was a joint.

"I'm impressed." Cosima said, setting the joint aside. "Now, let's talk about your hair."

* * *

><p>Sarah got into Marion's limousine, ready to take her and Cal's next assignment.<p>

Working for Marion wasn't such a bad deal. Sometimes Cal was assigned a hacking job, or the job of blocking someone from hacking into sensitive information. Sometimes Sarah was sent out to spy on the Proletheans, a task she had no qualms about doing after she knew they must have done some horrible things to Helena. There was also the occasional security job, which meant staying close to Marion at public functions, or more frequently, watching over Kira and Charlotte, who at that point were more friends than Aunt and Niece.

If she were honest, she needed the money. She needed a real job, and one that afforded her the opportunities to keep her sisters safe and continue working to provide answers. It appeared that Marion was after the same answers, although Sarah knew she was privy to more than she shared. Her priority had always been answers, slowly finding out who Ethan Duncan was, why she was created. Her ultimate goal would be to find out first, who she was genetically identical to, and second, why she was created.

However, during her time working for Marion she had never asked anything of the woman. She hadn't asked directly for more answers than she was ever given, instead enjoying the job that allowed her to settle down with Kira, afraid of rocking the boat too much before Kira had a good foundation into their life in Toronto. She needed her sisters and her family safe, she needed Cosima to get well, and she needed the free time to continue scrapping around for answers, even though she admittedly wasn't getting as far as Cosima seemed to be only talking to Delphine through a webcam. She was also somewhat laying low until they could figure out what condition Rachel was in, and how much she might want Sarah and Cosima dead.

Sarah was hoping that because she had never asked for anything that not only would Marion give it, but also the price wouldn't be too steep. She genuinely wanted to help Cosima, and when it came to the science end of things, she felt useless.

Sarah slide across the leather, wondering how it maintained that new car smell even though there was no way Marion was buying a new limo every year. Or was she?

"Right. Your next assignment." Marion said, handing a folder to Sarah. She watched as Sarah paused, not opening the folder immediately like she usually did. She waited, letting the clone vocalize whatever was holding her back herself.

"Marion, I need a favor. And I know I have no business asking for one, but the thing is, I can't _not_ ask." Sarah said. Marion nodded, wondering what Sarah could possibly need. Little did Sarah know, if she were asking for a raise, given how useful Sarah and Cal had become, it would've been hers. Sarah had a knack for getting in and out of places that were usually impenetrable, and did so in a manner undetectable to most security systems. It was a wonder she hadn't been recruited for a government job, as far as Marion was concerned. She also retrieved items or documents without too much questioning, as long as she was allowed to read whatever it was before handing it over.

Sarah had become quite indispensible indeed.

"The thing is…do you know who Dr. Delphine Cormier is?" Sarah asked.

* * *

><p>Delphine hid momentarily behind the wall, around the corner from the door to her apartment. She scanned the room for things that could be made into weapons.<p>

No baseball bat. She had never owned a gun, although after her time at DYAD she was starting to think it wasn't such a bad idea. Nothing for blunt-force trauma like a wrench. She looked over to the kitchen. Her options were so far to grab a candlestick holder, or venture further to the drawer with the knives.

She heard another knock, terrifying her even more. Nobody ever visited Delphine at home without being invited, and even that had been contained to exactly two visits from Greta, both initiated by Delphine so they could share information. She did not think the woman would ever show up unannounced.

Another knock came, this one more insistent. She quickly went for the heavy brass candlestick holder, holding it up but staying hidden behind the corner.

She looked over to the window with the fire escape. She had never climbed down one before, much less in heels, but she figured there was a first time for everything.

_Just go away. Whoever you are. I'm not home. _

"Delphine?" She heard a voice for the hallway call.

_Marion_.

Delphine immediately went to the doorway, pulling it open, releasing the same breath she had held for the last minute in relief.

"I hope that's not your idea of a home security system." Marion said smirking, pointing to the candlestick holder. Delphine suddenly felt like she had been caught playing some sort of _Clue_ cosplay alone and her boss had walked in on it.

"I'm sorry. I just don't usually have visitors." Delphine said, still a little shaky.

Delphine quickly moved to clean up the dining table, which had a stack of pre-DYAD documents on it that she had been going over with Greta. It was the last thing she wanted Marion to see.

"I must apologize for the mess. Let me get this out of the way." She quickly flipped over the report, hoping that Marion hadn't seen the bold typing across the top. If she had, she would have seen a report with the term _The MONAD Research Collective_ printed elaborately across the top, and it would have been very difficult for Delphine to find a way to lie to the woman to cover it up.

"Oh no, I promise you it's not a problem. I did just show up at your home unannounced." Marion seemed to not notice what the documents had said, seeming unalarmed. "I'm the one who should be apologizing, since I'm the one dropping in on you, but I just arrived here for a meeting in the morning from Toronto, and thought we could talk." Delphine nodded, immediately getting out a bottle of wine and two glasses. Marion cordially accepted her glass, sitting down with Delphine.

They had only had brief meetings a handful of times, but each time they had gotten along. Delphine knew by then that Cal was sent to help Cosima find her on Marion's orders, so on a certain level if Marion was able to circumvent Rachel, she both owed her a favor and should be somewhat afraid of what kind of power she must hold.

"Of course. Good to see you again." Delphine said, letting them both pause for a sip.

"Thank you. You as well. Tell me, Delphine, how is your work here coming?" Marion asked, almost eagerly—_almost_ breaking her calculated professionalism that governed every conversation she'd ever had with the woman. It was a different professionalism than Rachel; Marion held herself with confidence without being overbearing, while Rachel was simply cold.

_My work_. Delphine sighed and thought for a moment. She could tell her want she _wanted_ to say, which was that she and Greta had figured out from reviewing enough case studies that the autoimmune situation did seem to reverse itself, if it didn't kill the subject first. She could also tell the woman what she wanted to hear, which was more likely about the cure that Delphine thought she had just about finished, sitting in a refrigerator marked "Not For Food" back at her office. In 24 hours, it would be ready for a test run. However, Delphine was painfully aware that it wasn't necessary if the clones could survive themselves without a treatment that by Delphine's calculations could have a slew of side effects, possibly including temporary blindness.

"It's—good, but complicated." Delphine let out, taking another drink.

_What do I tell her? Which part? Both? Stall? _

Marion took pity on the woman, and decided to put her at ease.

"You can relax, Dr. Cormier, I know you do your work. I don't expect you to have some overnight miraculous cure cooked up already. I know these things take time and resources." Delphine nodded, listening.

_Or, I already made a cure that seems to be a moot point_.

"I'm not just here to check up on your work, although I have to tell you I am becoming increasingly interested in it." Marion paused a moment, wondering how much to tell Delphine. She felt very close to Sarah, the woman often watching her daughter. They were, in some sense, family. She also liked Delphine. Trust, however, was another issues. There had been a point in time where she trusted Aldous Leekie and Rachel, and she had learned her lesson with that long ago.

The two stared each other down, wondering how much to say.

Marion decided that as the one who occupied the superior position in the employment hierarchy, it was her job to bite the bullet.

"Dr. Cormier," Marion started, before Delphine interrupted her.

"Delphine." The blonde said, hoping to show that her silence was not out of any ill will.

"Right, Delphine. As I said before, I'm not here to try to rush you into finding the cure. I know these things are not something one can demand, or purchase immediately. Believe me, if that were an option, we'd have done it already. I know that with Cosima, you have as much at stake as I do in this, so I'm not trying to make this more nerve wracking."

Delphine cocked her head a bit. _As much at stake? How does she have anything at stake?_

"Delphine, what I am about to tell you nobody knows, except Sarah and myself. And what I'm about to tell you cannot get back to Rachel." Marion said the statement with such seriousness that Delphine knew the next few moments might make or break her chances at accomplishing anything with Cosima or in science at all.

"Charlotte has coughed up blood almost her entire life." Marion started, pausing for Delphine's eyes to go just as wide as she had expected. "It yo-yos back and forth, she's gone for a good two years before with no coughing, but before that she couldn't start kindergarten until she was old enough for first grade because she was so sick." She stopped, letting Delphine's mind catch up.

"You really do have as much at stake." Delphine said. After the last few days, she wouldn't be surprised at this point if the clock on the wall hopped onto the table and introduced itself to her, or if Godzilla came crashing down the street whacking buildings to pieces. Nothing was surprising anymore. She could be made of artificial intelligence from goo in some lab somewhere for all she knew.

"Yes, I do. And I'm sorry that I've allowed Rachel to keep you here. I was hoping that getting you a doorway to Cosima would be enough of a gesture to ease the pain, but really I'm focused on a cure as much as you must be. Rachel also has just enough power at the moment where she can demand that you are kept here, but she does not have enough power to tell _me_ what to do." Delphine nodded. She wasn't sure what to say. She felt like she had to offer the woman who had helped to talk to Cosima _something_.

"Marion, I am working on the cure. It's almost ready. But I've discovered something else that maybe you should know. The disease…it seems to reverse itself. There are those who survive the difficult periods, and it goes away on its own." _But probably not a little girl_, she thought, knowing children have the lowest ability to fight diseases after the elderly.

Marion scoffed. "So does influenza, if you're one of the ones it doesn't kill. How about Malaria? Delphine, we make _medicines_ for these things, we don't just leave it to chance. Some clones can fight it through, sure. But not many." Delphine nodded. She suspected that Marion was holding something back, but didn't press the issue.

"No, of course. We don't just leave things to chance, that's the opposite of science. But if the cure that I have doesn't work…I don't know what I'm saying. I thought that would be comforting." Delphine shook her head, looking down.

"I do appreciate the thought, but Charlotte isn't—let's say she's not as robust as her older sisters from the earlier batch. I'm not telling you this to pressure you, Delphine. I'm just letting you know where I stand." Delphine nodded.

"I have the cure." Delphine said without even thinking, seeing Marion's eyes shoot up to look at her. "Well, I will in about 24 hours. An experimental prototype, at least, but it's ready for experimentation. And since we don't have a sick cloned mouse to try it on, I'm assuming we skip right to human trials. _Not_ Charlotte." Delphine felt she needed to add, still uneasy about what the side effects of attempting to shut down part of someone's DNA might be. "And _not_ Cosima." Delphine added assertively.

Marion nodded. "No, of course. We don't experiment on loved ones." She thought for a moment, and decided it was time to get to the real reason she was there to visit, even before her meeting with Rachel.

"Delphine, I want you to go to work tomorrow and submit your treatment as planned according to your regular guidelines. I have no doubt the experimental treatment will go right into the hands of the person it's being tried on." _Rachel_, they both thought, not needing to vocalize it. Rachel would be the only one desperate enough at the moment to inject something untested into her own body.

"Afterwards, I plan on arranging at my meeting tomorrow for a little break for you. I can't promise you're done here in Germany, especially if your cure turns out not to work yet, which is expected still being in the experimental stage. However, I plan on informing your superiors that I am in need of your assistance for a few days. In _Toronto_." Marion whispered the last part, knowing what was implied. "I cannot get you out of here completely yet, but I can require your presence at least for a short time, in exchange for some perks that I have to put on the table at the insistence of Sarah, but that part is not really your problem. I'm going to work out the details after my meeting tomorrow."

Delphine could not contain her excitement. She was elated, unsure if she should shout her "thank you" or get up and hug the woman. She was being offered somewhat of a leave of absence to see Cosima.

"Yes! Yes. I would love to—I mean, I would like that. Whatever you need. When will I go?" She asked, squirming in excitement.

"This weekend." Marion said, seeing Delphine's face fall immediately.

_This weekend. When Cosima's in Minnesota_.

* * *

><p>When Delphine received Cosima's chat call that evening, she was still sobbing. The sobbing had begun as soon as Marion left. She was torn between hopelessness, at yet again having Cosima dangled in front of her only to have her ripped away, and part of her thought about using a trip to Toronto to run away from DYAD for good.<p>

"Hey! Babycakes, what's up?" Delphine immediately took a breath between sobs, looking at the dreadlocked woman in the glasses in front of her.

_She never calls me 'babycakes'. _She stopped and just stared at the woman.

"I don't say 'babycakes', Alison, damn it. One line in and you fuck this up?" She heard a voice that sounded like Cosima from off camera. In a few seconds, the real Cosima appeared in front of the camera. Delphine blinked through her tears, taking a moment to take in the scene before her. Two sets of dreadlocks, two pairs of glasses, two horrendously patterned sweaters…it really did look like two Cosimas.

"Delphine, love, what's wrong?" The real Cosima asked gently. Yes, _that_ was her Cosima.

"Cosima, Marion is taking me to Toronto." Delphine choked out, starting to sob again.

"What? That's great! That's great, Delphine! _I'm still in Toronto! _Why aren't you happy?" Cosima asked, now getting worried.

"This weekend, Cosima. When you're in Minnesota." The faces of both Cosima's immediately fell.

"For how long?" The fraudulent Cosima in the blue sweater asked.

"I don't know. It could just be a day or two, or it could be longer, but I don't know. Marion needs my help with something." Delphine went back to crying, making both Cosimas feel helpless.

The real Cosima turned to look at Alison, sizing up the job she did on copying herself—well, onto her copy. She had doctored up Alison enough that it would've fooled Felix and Frederick for a couple of days for sure, since those two were more involved with each other than anything else.

Cosima had recruited Alison to pretend to be Cosima so that Rachel wouldn't find out that Cosima was out of town. The last thing they needed was something slipping past Frederick, who they knew to be a spy for Rachel, even as much as he was trying to straddle both sides of the fence at the moment. Sure, he was in love with Felix, but Rachel had his sister held hostage. She also knew that if Rachel wanted to go after her, she would wait until Cosima was alone, and not surrounded by other clones and Felix. They had all also deduced that Rachel wouldn't spy on them at all unless she was up to something. Rachel's "somethings" were _always_ unpleasant.

Now, Cosima was wondering if Alison could pass as her in front of her own parents.

Cosima continued staring at Alison.

"Absolutely not." Alison answered in her own voice, crossing her arms over her chest. She could practically feel Cosima and Delphine's stares from each direction. "No. It's one thing to pretend to be Felix's roommate for a couple of days, it's another to try to fool the people who used to give you baths and change your diapers. No."

"Please?" She heard two voices simultaneously beg.

* * *

><p>Delphine spent her flight on Marion's private jet reading through the old MONAD documents, the ones that pre-dated DYAD's records.<p>

Marion hadn't tried to look at what Delphine was reading; simply commenting that Delphine never stopped working and could use the flight to relax. Delphine had smiled politely, accepting the drink that was offered to her, but continued to read.

Or, what looked like reading. Her eyes had in actuality glazed over the same page over and over, daydreaming on and off.

She tried to remember what it felt like to actually touch Cosima. What did it even feel like to have a warm body next to her, not quite touching, but warm enough to know there is a presence? What was that moment like when the warmth turned into actual touch, when Cosima's front pressed into her back, feeling the outline of her form in the dark?

She crossed her arms, rubbing the length of her own body, elbow to wrist. It felt so different when Cosima ran a palm along the same skin, her body able to process the difference between another's touch and her own. Two different kinds of touch that were worlds apart. She closed her eyes for a moment, still moving her own hand. She could feel that it wasn't Cosima.

She couldn't even think about kissing Cosima. Should she hug her first? She knew Cosima was looking quite well these days, but that was on webcam. What if she spent her time off camera coughing up blood more than talking or laughing?

Laughing, that was another thing to ponder. She could feel Cosima's laugh when Cosima was in her arms. The vibrations, the sound washing over her being absorbed by the skin. It was nothing like hearing it through a speaker on a laptop. She could both remember and not remember. If she closed her eyes, she could try to access the memory of the feeling of Cosima, but the reminder always seemed just out of reach, like when trying to remember the answer to a trivia question and it just sits on the tip of her tongue but not fully there. The idea is there, the predecessor to the feeling. But the memory of the feeling was starting to fade.

Delphine decided she would start with Cosima's hands. She needed to feel those hands before kissing her. That's how she would know the moment was real, if she could touch. That's what would separate this weekend from one she had been dreaming every night for weeks.

* * *

><p>Alison sat on her plane, finding it uncomfortable to put her head back with faux-dreads.<p>

_How does Cosima sleep in these things?_ She wondered, trying to remind herself not to break character. She started going back through the photo album Cosima had given her with labels so she could recognize Cosima's parents. She also went through the glossary of science terms Cosima had printed up, and enough background information to get her through hopefully a little sight seeing and maybe a couple of dinners.

_I can do this. I was in a production of Hair in college. I can play smart hippie._

_What have I gotten myself into? _


	10. Niehaus Family Values

Chapter 10

Delphine couldn't have possibly have been aware of the little bit of drool beginning to travel out of the corner of her mouth and down her chin, being completely passed out with a handful of documents still on her lap.

Marion had watched as the woman started to nod off after staring at the same page for about twenty minutes. Four hours into their flight to Toronto, and Delphine had started showing signs of being overtired. If she were honest, Delphine always looked overtired, although she only had a handful of experiences to go on.

She was sympathetic to the younger woman. She also had decided that she trusted Dr. Cormier. Delphine wouldn't do anything to put any clones, herself, or even DYAD in jeopardy. She was smart and tactful, even avoiding the usual scandal that accompanies a monitor sleeping with a clone. She thought they had a lot of similarities, both able to balance their involvement with cloning in their personal lives and still able to work in the face of a constant threat. In reality, she thought of the doctor as the only other person she knew who could understand her own position.

Whether or not she could trust Cosima was another story. She knew the next few days would be an exercise in whether or not Cosima could eventually step into the role she needed her for, knowing the main motivation would be Delphine.

Marion reach over to look at the documents Delphine had been looking at.

She had expected smuggled top-secret DYAD documents, but her eyebrows couldn't help but raise at what the doctor had managed to get her hands on.

_The MONAD Research Collective_. An entire file.

Marion put the documents back on Delphine's lap, sitting down across from her, happy that she had the private jet designed for meetings while in the air. She took a moment to organize the papers onto the tabletop that separated the two of them, deciding not to make Delphine wait until they landed for information as she previously planned.

If Delphine was going to step into her role as Director of Biological Initiatives, hopefully with Cosima eventually taking the role as Site Director of DYAD North America, she would need a lot of background that was previously worlds above her regular security clearance. She, of course, couldn't tell them that she planned to offer them the positions, knowing that taking them away from direct clone research too soon would scare both of them off. It was a matter of finding the common ground between what the two of them were scientifically and, to a certain extent, personally passionate about, and where that intersected with business needs.

Marion watched as the flight staff began to prepare lunch. At least that would give her a reason to wake the doctor up without having to be rude about it. She knew that they should also eat before they started discussing all of the things that would destroy both of their appetites.

* * *

><p>Alison had exactly one hour to turn this horrendous black-mold covered shit pile that Cosima had rented for the weekend off of craigslist into something both presentable and that would actually look like Cosima had lived there for over a year. It was a small, one bedroom apartment that was technically a short-term sublet, but to Alison it looked like was inhabited only by the spider colony that sent her screaming the moment she stepped into the kitchen.<p>

The main problem was that she was somewhere near the University of Minnesota, and had no idea where the nearest headshop was, and these hastily done faux-dreads were itching like nobody's business. Alison hopped into her rental car, and started driving, hoping somehow the GPS would figure out how to get her to a store with some kind of Cosima-like items.

As she got closer to the U of M campus, she saw what looked like a little outlet shopping center for students. The sign that read, "_DORM ROOM ITEMS 50%"_ reaffirmed her suspicions.

_Perfect_. She'd have just enough time to run in and grab at least a lava lamp, or whatever it was that pot-smoking lesbian scientists decorated with these days.

* * *

><p>The plate being set down less than gently in front of Delphine was enough to startle her out of her unintended slumber, causing her to jump out of sleep and into Marion's stare.<p>

"I hope you're not a vegetarian. The plane was already pre-stocked so I didn't have them do any special meal planning like we normally would." She smiled as the doctor wiped away the offending saliva, trying to pretend she wasn't just out like baby in a car seat.

"No, not at all. I eat meat. Thank you." Delphine's eyes went wide when she saw the documents were out on the table, face-up. She had known taking them with her was a risk, but she considered it less risky than leaving everything back in Germany in case Rachel had her place searched in her absence.

Marion noticed the scramble to pick up the papers. She placed a hand on the doctor's arm, stopping the shuffle.

"It's alright. I have copies of them as well. Let's just add those to the list of things we should discuss before we land?" Marion asked, waiting for Delphine's nod before removing her hand.

Delphine was momentarily stunned. The woman's hand on her arm was the first time she had felt another human being in contact with her since leaving Canada. Co-workers in Germany didn't shake hands, acquaintances didn't hug or greet by kissing on the cheek. It was a sterile, solitary environment save for a few hours each night with Cosima on the computer.

Delphine decided then that she was going to trust Marion. At this point, she didn't have much else to lose, and she had already decided that regardless of her circumstances in the future, losing Cosima was off the table, no matter what. If they could find each other across an ocean, they couldn't be kept apart.

She had been haunted recently by the first conversation she ever held with the woman who would go on to become so important in her life.

_Long distance never works. _Can't it, though? Hasn't that been what they'd been banking on?

"I suppose you want to know where I got these from." Delphine started, not being able to help the innocent eyed look she gave, knowing she sounded like a school girl who just got caught sneaking off to the playground.

"Not necessary. It doesn't really matter at this point; you were going to get copies of them anyway. I suppose you have questions? I do have to advise you, Delphine, that I am not a scientist, so I might not have all of the answers. You have a better understanding of a lot of clone issues than I do." Marion said, downplaying her own position at DYAD for the moment.

"What is it that you need my help with in Toronto? Not that I mind." _Obviously, she knows why I don't mind. Cosima. _

"Jumping right in then." Marion gave a little laugh. She thought they would start out with something she could be a little more detached about, such as the documents she was holding. "What do you think?" Marion knew the answer would put them on equal footing for the time being.

"Charlotte." Delphine answered. "So then, I am here until she is cured?"

Marion laughed. "I suppose that would be the opposite of motivation for you to find a cure. I know you've agreed because Cosima is here." Delphine had to smile a little as well. Of course, if she were a terrible person who didn't care that there was a sick child, she could drag out a cure selfishly to stay. However, it was a sick child at stake, and she was not the type of person to do that.

"I wouldn't _not_ help." Delphine meant it. Charlotte was technically one of Cosima's sisters on top of being an innocent child.

"I know that. We can't technically send for your things until you have a place, and then we'll just have a pod packed up and shipped over. You're welcome to stay with me in the meantime, but I imagine you'll be looking to stay with a particular someone. Or, we can set you up with a hotel suite. No reason to rush into a decision." Marion noticed Delphine had gone silent, staring at her as she spoke as though she was speaking in pig-latin to a deaf parrot.

"I'm sorry, my things shipped over?"

"Delphine, you're not going back to Germany. That is, unless you want to." Marion said, hoping that this would be received as _good_ news. It certainly would be good news to Marion if the woman accepted, since she knew she needed Delphine and Cosima for her own daughter at this point, although it was an arrangement she had been trying to avoid.

It was an arrangement she thought also wouldn't be able to negotiate, until Sarah had come to her with an idea.

"I'm staying here?" Delphine said in shock. She could come _home_? After all of that? The stress of the last couple of months, the heartache, the sixteen hour research sessions…she would just hop on a plane one day and it would be handed back to her so simply?

"What about Rachel?" Delphine had to ask.

"We've arranged a trade. You, in exchange for…well, let me preface this with this was Sarah's idea. We were actually going to try to trade you for a comparable scientist with actual experience dealing with reproductive disorders, but Sarah suggested something else."

"You've made a trade?" Delphine asked, not even sure what that meant.

* * *

><p>Rachel never felt excitement. It wasn't an emotion she was capable of at this juncture of her life, personally or professionally. To be fair, for her, the personal was professional and vice versa. It also pleased her that this would be the day she could show off her ocular implant without having to wear the eye patch. She hoped it wasn't perfect. She hoped it looked just a bit unnatural enough to be intimidating. She knew that not all of the scarring from the surgeries would be gone yet. She wanted it there, as if to say, "look what I managed to live through, you unruly bitch."<p>

However, if Rachel could still feel excitement, this would be the moment where she would be bouncing off the walls. She maintained her cool exterior as her guest was deposited across the table from her, handcuffed and hooded.

One of the handlers ripped the hood off, waiting for Rachel's nod before leaving the room.

"Hello, Sarah. It's been too long, hasn't it?"

Sarah simply nodded, eyeing Rachel from across the table.

* * *

><p>Alison jumped at the knock to her makeshift "graduate student housing option" home. She threw the last tie-dye tapestry over the last window, stopped in front of a mirror to make sure she still had herself put together.<p>

She took a deep breath before opening the door.

"Hello, Cosima." Alison was taken back by the two individuals on the other side of the door. They both still looked like the people in the pictures Cosima had given her, so they were indeed Cosima's parents. However, she didn't expect them to be so dressed up for what she thought would surely be a casual walk through campus and for grabbing dinner. She didn't expect them to seem—so _uptight_.

"Hi Mom! Hi Dad!" Alison said, trying to sound as upbeat as Cosima usually did without being overwhelming. Neither parent made a move to hug her, instead stiffly motioning towards the inside. She moved to let in the woman who was wearing what was clearly a designer navy blue and white dress and the man in the khakis and navy blue sweater in.

They were so stiff and uptight they had made sure they matched _each other _when getting dressed for the day. These people were beyond even Alison's ability to speak suburban-ese.

"Cosima…" Cosima's parents had been let in and immediately started looking around the one-bedroom that Cosima had picked out off of the internet without so much as a second thought. They appeared to be sizing up everything, from the furniture, the posters of Jimi Hendrix and The Grateful Dead that Alison had picked up from the student shop, even the sweater Alison was wearing from Cosima's wardrobe without so much as a word.

It wasn't long before Alison watched as Cosima's mother turned from her inspection of the apartment, tears in her eyes. Alison looked at the woman. They seemed to be tears of anger, not happiness.

"Cosima, you are back to smoking that marijuana! I can tell. This place is a homage to every drug that could possibly be illegal! After all of the opportunities we've opened up for you? You're back to living…like _this?" _The woman pointed around to various points of the décor. Alison immediately thought about how she may have gone overboard with the purchase of an actual lava lamp.

"You listen to your mother, young lady." The man chimed in. Alison suddenly felt very, very guilty, like she indeed herself had been smoking 'that marijuana' and deserved to be grounded for it immediately.

Alison couldn't actually answer out of shock. She had a lot of thoughts about what she thought Cosima's parents might be like, but this was never on the agenda. She could only hang her head, her toe suddenly becoming very interested in digging into the carpet as Cosima's parents continued sizing up the apartment.

"Cosima, did you even _try_ to get furniture that matches? No wonder you never want us to visit! It's like you try to be a common vagabond."

Alison knew she was in for a very, very long evening.

* * *

><p>Delphine now had a stack of papers in front of her from Marion in front of her, in addition to the papers she had brought herself. They were complete medical and personal backgrounds, everything about every clone, their health, background, upbringing, their diets, exercise preferences, environmental exposures based on where they were raised and where they lived. She had in her hands everything about everyone, minus Sarah and Helena. The blonde was already mapping out in her head how to make the information into a spreadsheet where she could line up common factors across the board and see if there were any connecting factors.<p>

Interesting to the file were the names of four clones she had never heard of, and that she assumed Cosima had never heard of either since they weren't in any of her files when Delphine was spying on her. Two of the four had contracted the disease and had it regress after each endured a year of constant illness, almost dying, and then coming back.

"As you can see, there is nothing connecting them showing why some of them don't get the autoimmune disorder. And there is nothing to show why Charlotte started showing signs so early." Marion was going over the documents along with Delphine. They still had a good hour left on the plane, and she wanted to go over as much as possible before the stepped off, and she knew Delphine would most likely disappear into Cosima-land for at least a day or two before she was of any use.

At least, she _hoped_ Delphine would work on Charlotte without being coerced. Forcing decisions wasn't Marion's style. She was a big fan of catching flies with honey, finding that her position allowed her to provide all of the honey she ever needed to get things done whenever she wanted. She wouldn't have to force her, she knew that between the draw of the science, having Cosima nearby, and hopefully the tug at her heartstrings by helping a child would combine to allow her access to both of the scientists, doing whatever necessary to align their interests.

"I have a question." Delphine asked, looking up seriously from one of the files. Marion waited for her to continue, not promising an answer.

"The clones…were they made sick on purpose?"

"Yes." Marion confirmed, making a ball form in the pit of Delphine's stomach.

Delphine was actually surprised. She thought that the disease's ability to retreat showed some hope that the clones weren't being unnecessarily harmed, and that it really was an accident.

"Why then, do not all of the clones get sick? Why does the disease regress?" She left out the pressing question of 'why did you adopt a clone child knowing she might die' for the sake of getting the more pressing information.

"We don't know, we don't know, and before you ask, no, I did not know the clones were made to house an illness before I agreed to adopt Charlotte, but that's a story for another time. I wasn't always at the top of this particular hierarchy, Delphine. When I adopted Charlotte I was the Chief Financial Officer for the oversight organization. I've never actually worked for DYAD on its own." Marion said, her eyes starting to tire from reading all of the small type on the pages in front of her.

Delphine suddenly had nothing to say but far too many questions buzzing around her head all at the same time. She originally had wanted to know if there was anything to show that Cosima would indeed be one of the very few lucky ones who have shown signs of the disease regressing, but now she wanted to know _everything_.

"We'll be landing shortly, Delphine." Marion started packing the papers back neatly into their files before putting them in her briefcase. "Here." She handed Delphine her business card, with an address scribbled out on the back.

She looked at the front of the card. It simply had Marion's name and a single phone number, not even the name of her company or any other identifiers.

"I'd like us to be able to work together. And I do mean work, as in we continue to pay you. If you'd like us to be able to work together or even if you're just thinking about it, come to my home anytime this weekend, just give that number a call to let me know when you're on your way. And feel free to bring Cosima." Delphine eyed over the card again, name, address, phone number, name, address, phone number, no email, no logo, not knowing what to make of it.

"We have a car to take you where ever you'd like, and my home is still open. What would you prefer? A hotel?" Marion asked, already thinking she would know the answer would be Cosima's address.

Delphine went to answer, but stopped herself. She hadn't seen Cosima in close to two months. Why not make the most of the situation?

"I—I may take you up on the offer of a hotel suite."

* * *

><p>Cosima ran across the apartment to where her phone was on the kitchen table when she heard it ring from the bathroom. She was immediately winded, that short sprint having been the most exercise she had gotten in quite some time.<p>

She growled in frustration when she saw it was Alison.

_Of course it's Alison. Delphine may not have a phone to use yet. I don't even know if she's landed yet. _

"Hello." Cosima said a little more gruffly than she should have, given the huge favor Alison was doing for her.

"Cosima, really? Can we take a moment to review just how many things you didn't tell me about your parents before you sent me out here?" Alison said in a rant. Clearly she was finished with the parental dinner, and was just as displeased as Cosima usually was after a night with them.

"So you can see why I haven't had a problem not visiting them." Cosima said, wincing at Alison's tone.

"SOME things are important, Cosima! Like the fact that your father is running for governor next term, and now I'm sure he thinks that his lesbian pot-smoking daughter is going to be a stick in the mud for his future campaign!"

Cosima smacked herself in the face. Maybe she should have mentioned her family's political proclivities, and how their general behavior was…well, the opposite of everything that was Cosima. The fact that she was going for a Ph. D. was most likely the only reason they were even still on speaking terms.

"Whoa, Alison…which part did you tell them? Did you tell them that I—smoke pot?" Cosima was suddenly worried. Cosima knew it was a bit ridiculous, she was a grown woman, she could smoke whatever she would like to, but she still had that little bit of programming from growing up in their stiff, sterile household that prevented her from throwing things directly into their faces. As much as she might want to.

"Well, they figured it out after I did some decorating-"

"What?! Alison, _no. _I purposefully picked out somewhere that was already furnished. What do you mean you decorated? With what?" Cosima started pacing with her arms flailing around.

"Oh, that's not even the top of the list, Cosima. You could have told me you never came out to your parents before I went to dinner with them!"

Cosima winced again. She knew she _should_ have told Alison about that, but figured if she'd have to tell them eventually anyway, why not just let Alison do the dirty work for her?

"Yeah, about that…it's totally fine that you let that slip. So, how did they take it?" Alison immediately noticed how nonchalant Cosima was that she was just outed without being there to see it.

"You knew! You knew that they didn't know, and I would say something lesbian-ish! You set me up! You dropped me in the middle of nowhere university, U.S.A., and just Laverne'd me with no Shirley." Alison said.

"Okay, I don't even know what that means, but—look, now that you've met them, you can see how my parents aren't the easiest to get along with. So if I happen to have a proxy available, well…how did they take it?"

"Not well!" Alison yelled back into the phone. "Not well at all!"

Alison thought back to the most awkward parent dinner she had ever sat through in her life, and she wasn't even there as herself. She sat through appetizers, a salad, and a soup course where her parents criticized every little thing, from the way the dishes were plated to everything Alison was wearing and how she held her posture. When they rounded past complaining about Alison's nose ring, Alison was ready to just take the fake clip-on ring out since by that point it was actually starting to bother her, but then she remember she was being Cosima and needed to leave it in.

By the time the main course arrived, Alison was trying to plan a way to suggest they skip dessert so she could leave. She wasn't even really Cosima and she felt terrible. She couldn't imagine Cosima, her sister who was usually nothing but sweet, coming from these people.

Once Cosima's parents had inquired about her personal life, asserting that she couldn't possibly only do schoolwork twenty-four hours a day, she couldn't help but try to defend Cosima, well, while being Cosima. So naturally, as Cosima, she asserted that she did indeed have a personal life.

However, as soon as she had used the term "lover" and began describing Delphine, she could see the point where Cosima's parents put two and two together, and where it was clearly a shock for them.

"Cosima, dear, we donate to the Log Cabin Republicans every year. We are in the City for the parade every summer. We watched _The Birdcage_ with you that time. We do not have to have this sort of thing shoved down our throats at dinner too." Cosima's mother said coldly without making eye contact. Both Cosima's mother and her father continued to stare at their plates, then quickly attempted to change the subject back to one of what they identified as Cosima's many, many faults.

Alison was shocked. And she felt awkward, before getting angry.

Very, very angry.

"Oh, it's being shoved down your throats? I guess we can all see why I never come visit you!" Alison shouted, learning very quickly that when you have dreadlocks and start shouting in a five-star restaurant, patrons will turn and look at you.

_Fuck it_, Alison decided, _I'm already in character, I might as well stay that way. _

"Maybe if you spent three minutes away from your high end, uptight, overbearing lives you would see that having dinner with your daughter for the first time in a year and her mentioning her love life after _you asked_ is not 'shoving it down your throat'. Maybe if you took three minutes to get to know her—me, you would know how much I've done for other people in the last year! And for the record, _The Birdcage_ is a classic and you should be so lucky to have the acting genius that is Nathan Lane with Robin Williams on your screen, it was an _excellent_ choice of film!"

Alison got up dramatically, throwing her napkin down on the chair.

"And another thing, marijuana is an _excellent_ plant with many proven medicinal properties, and I will frame a picture of it on my wall if I damn well choose to! I will hang it on the wall next to a picture of my lesbian lover!" Alison shouted before storming out without so much as turning around to see the reaction, but she couldn't help but smirk to herself

Cosima sat smiling on the couch, waiting for Alison to finish the story.

"You really said that?" Cosima asked.

"I'm sorry, Cosima, I really didn't see another option. And I'm being you, so I really didn't think you would just sit there and take it from them all night. Oh my God, maybe you would have. What have I done?"

"Alison, you are so awesome!" Cosima said excitedly. Cosima rarely stood up to her parents, generally choosing the flight when her fight-or-flight mode kicked in. Usually she just rolled her eyes, took off as soon as possible, getting something pierced, tattooed, smoking or drinking something…the escapes were endless. But this time, Alison took the initiative _not_ to fly out the door.

"…really?" Alison asked.

"That's exactly what I would've wanted to say to them! You're dead on. And that's exactly what they deserved to hear, even if I didn't have the balls to be the one to go say it. I owe you one so hard! You are _amazing!_" Cosima said smiling, before her laptop started dinging.

"Alison! That's Delphine. I gotta go, but don't worry about them picking you up for breakfast tomorrow. Just come on back, I'm sure they're looking for flights back to Cali as we speak."

Cosima jumped over to the laptop, flinging it open and clicking the green button to open the chat.

She saw Delphine, smiling, but she couldn't tell where she was.

"Delphine? Are you still in Germany?" She looked behind the blonde's head, seeing nothing but black leather in the background.

"No." Delphine said, still smiling. Not smiling, _beaming_.

"Where are you?" Cosima asked, both excited and a little scared.

"Outside. I'm in the limo. Pack an overnight bag and come out."

_To Be Continued..._


	11. Instinct

Chapter 11

_Author's Note: NSFW. Close and read at home! It's better that way anyway! ;)_

* * *

><p>Four minutes is a long time to have to mull over insecurities.<p>

For four minutes after hanging up and waiting for Cosima, Delphine Cormier suddenly wished that her hair didn't feel so matted down from the long flight, or than she had put a little thought into what she threw for the flight back. She showed up empty handed; she felt like she should have a gift or something to give Cosima.

What would she bring back? German chocolate? A souvenir? Something they could look back and think, "Remember when Delphine was on that involuntary trip to Germany and brought me back this cute little craft basket?" Still, she had four minutes to feel inadequate.

During minute five, Delphine felt less inadequate and more worried. Where was Cosima? It occurred to her that she hadn't asked if Cosima was feeling well that day.

What if she couldn't carry a bag down the stairs by herself?

As soon as Delphine had the thought, she smacked herself in the head. She knew Cosima was weak sometimes, even as she tried to appear bubbly when they spoke.

"I'll be back in just a moment." Delphine said to the Limo driver, getting a nod before hopping out. She started to jog, thankful she was in her boots that day instead of heels. She stopped at the front of the building for a moment to fluff up her hair, before jogging in and to the stairs.

_Of course, I should have offered to come up and help her. _

When she got to the top of the stairs and turned the corner to Felix's apartment, she stopped dead in her tracks, not able to move.

Cosima was there, with a small canvas bag over her shoulder, locking the outside padlock.

She was _right there_, less than eight feet away.

Suddenly Delphine couldn't move. She couldn't speak. The pang in her chest and stomach had suddenly rushed in, the sight of Cosima in person stealing her breath, along with her ability to think.

When Cosima turned and looked up, she seemed equally stunned.

The bag and the lock were both forgotten in an instant, Cosima dropping everything to walk towards the woman she never thought she'd see again. She really had been trying to hold on to hope, but was all too aware that every time she saw Delphine's face, it was never in that spot just above her forehead that she could gaze up to, and without feeling any of the warmth.

Delphine stood still, opening her arms for Cosima, feeling two smaller, thin arms with two warm, strong hands wrap around her body, and a soft face bury immediately into her neck. She felt them exhale together, hearing her breath leave as she felt Cosima's breath on her neck.

In that moment, intertwined with Cosima, feeling the body that embodied everything she loved, she understood what it meant to feel complete.

_This is what it means to be alive_, Cosima thought, pulling herself tighter against Delphine's softness. _This is what it means to be a human being, not how I was made or why. _

The two spoke no words for a long time; language would be inadequate for the act of completion occurring when the two wrapped around each other, simply breathing.

Cosima became aware of Delphine's hand at the back of her neck, a touch she hadn't known she needed until she felt it. Her own hands started making slow circles up and down Delphine's back, taking in what it felt like to have Delphine, life-sized, in her arms.

Neither of them were aware that the other had tears streaming freely until Cosima tipped her head back just slightly, just enough to keep them pressed together but to land a soft kiss to the taller woman's cheek, feeling the wet on the softness.

Delphine moved her hands to cup Cosima's cheeks, tracing the little pathways the tears had made, finally meeting Cosima's eyes with her own.

_This is what it means to be complete._

_This is what it means to be alive._

Delphine held on to the sides of Cosima's face as their lips joined, never wanting to let go again, even for a moment. Slowly, she felt the warm mouth press against her own, slightly open, begging for more places to touch. She immediately began moving her own mouth, slowly, feeling their tongues brush in the center of what was their universe for the moment.

Cosima moved her hands to Delphine's neck, finding shoulders to hang on to, needing the curves to grip onto, while Delphine moved her hands lower on the clone's back to hold her in tight, keeping their mouths pressed, keeping their tongues in contact, tasting and feeling and moving and breathing.

The blonde felt the smaller woman part them, breathing in deeply for a moment, before bringing them back together. Delphine kept her held tight, diving back to Cosima's mouth as much as she felt the soft lips dive back to her own. She couldn't stop. If she had her way, she would never let go, never remove her arms from the warmth they surrounded.

If one is dying of thirst, does anyone question when they chug water from the jug? Does the starving person stop after one apple?

Delphine's mouth became wide, staying open, pressed against Cosima's open mouth for their tongues to slide across each other deeply. She could feel Cosima's tongue push all the way into her mouth, running full length against Delphine's, only to plunge back in, feeling the sensations. Her head was swimming, that swirling feeling that happens when one abandons trying to put words to a feeling and simply chooses to feel. The taste of Cosima, her scent gently introducing itself to her inhales, the feel of her pressed against the front of her full body, everything erased Delphine's mind until there were no more thoughts, just feeling.

_Soft. Warm. Wet. Cosima. _

Delphine was slowly creeping back into awareness, the awareness of where they currently were, which conflicted with what she needed. She started pulling her tongue back, going back to using lips, gently bringing Cosima back to reality.

She needed to feel more, she needed to feel _all_ of Cosima against her, and the hallway was no place to do it.

She finally pressed just their lips together, feeling Cosima's sigh, before pulling back.

"Cosima." She finally breathed out, allowing the tips of their noses to nuzzle together, before moving up to kiss her forehead.

"No. Don't stop." Cosima whispered out, pulling Delphine's lips back to her own.

This was always her Cosima, wasn't it? If Cosima wanted something, she wanted it _now_. She conceded for another moment, allowing their lips to press together, but not using her tongue. She kept them together, relishing in the feeling of Cosima's breath sliding across her cheek, feeling her chest moving to pump the air as their torsos pressed together.

Delphine gently pulled back, slowly, the way an artist sets and pulls the last stroke of the brush.

"I'm here now." The blonde says, kissing Cosima's forehead, then the tip of her nose. "I'm home."

* * *

><p>The two women did not break contact once. Not when retrieving Cosima's bag and going down the stairs, holding hands the whole way. Not in the limo, sitting wrapped around each other, relishing in the eye contact; the ability to run hands up arms and down shoulders.<p>

They did not break when arriving at the hotel, or when checking in at the front desk, still holding hands while standing pressed up against each other's sides. When Delphine was signing to check in, she was suddenly grateful for being right handed, as Cosima made it clear that she was at no point letting go of her left.

They did not separate going down the hallway, getting into the elevator, or at the door, or entering the room.

Or when Delphine closed and locked the door behind her.

The "click" of the lock became a signal, giving Cosima the sign that she could let go of Delphine's hand, using her arms again to pull the blonde close.

At the moment, as their jackets were being thrown on the floor along with their bags, they couldn't be bothered to notice how upscale the room was that Marion was somehow able to reserve on no notice. The ornate European style decorations would go overlooked; the hot tub in the corner not even a thought.

Delphine returned her mouth to Cosima's, blocking out all external senses that could go beyond the taste and the feel of having the dark-haired woman back. The taste of Cosima was something that could never be replicated, it was a sense mixed with another sense creating a feeling that only existed in the moment.

How could she possibly put into words needing to _feel_ someone's _taste_?

She became very aware of the strong, sure hands running over her clothing, all over her body. She jumped suddenly with a gasp, feeling those hands suddenly on the skin of her back under her shirt.

"Delphine? Are you okay?" Cosima asked softly, feeling the woman in her arms trembling.

_No, I'm not okay, _She thought. _I haven't felt you in months and now I'm overloaded. _

Delphine put the hands that were under her shirt back on her skin.

"Make it okay." She said, starting to pull Cosima's sweater off.

She noticed that as her body pulsed into the feeling, they were pulsing along, push, pull, push, pull.

She pulled Cosima's mouth back to her own, pushing her body into the curves. She felt the pulling of her shirt and bra coming off, through the pushing of tongues into warm mouths.

The kissing became more intense, deep, Cosima feeling breasts being pushed into her hands as her own bra was pulled off, kneading in rhythm with the panting breathes of the blonde. She felt the breathing becoming more intense, knowing that her hands were working to make sure that what she was feeling was real.

She pulled her tongue back from Delphine's mouth, pressing her lips into the softness of the doctor's mouth, moving instead to press her full torso against the taller woman's, feeling the gasps turn into a sigh.

"_Cosima."_ She heard breathed out against her lips.

"I'm here." She whispered back, moving them together back towards the bed.

Delphine was busy kissing the lips joined with her own, running her hands up and down a soft yet still strong back. She had no consciousness around when the rest of her clothing was removed, not noticing when Cosima had shed her own. All she could feel was the mouth and the breath that had overtaken her ability to think.

Until she was on her back and suddenly felt Cosima's full, naked body lay on top of her own, pressing down gently, snapping her back into full sensation, breaking from the kiss to let out a long moan.

"I'm here." Cosima said again, asserting the thought in a way that was to reassure herself as much as Delphine.

Delphine guided Cosima's body so that she was flat lying over her center, wrapping her legs around the smaller body, followed by their arms. Cosima was staring right into her eyes, light brown matching dark, pausing for a moment. She saw Cosima hesitate.

"I want to make love to you." Cosima whispered, suddenly looking unsure of herself.

Delphine ran her hand along the cheek above her, feeling a lip with her thumb.

"You already are." She answered, straining her neck up to meet the lips her thumb had been caressing.

Cosima pressed herself more fully down, breast-to-breast, center-to-center, abandoning any thought process involved in what _should_ be done when having sex with a woman. Usually, she was so focused on being skilled, making sure her hands or mouth were moving to elicit moans or whimpers, building up in a formula that she knew always worked.

No more thinking. Just instinct.

Cosima wasn't thinking her movements out when her lower body started pressing in strong, steady rhythm into Delphine, but she could feel the shaking it caused, the arms around her shoulders gripping, keeping her close as she moved. She wasn't moving with skill. The soft pressing was what she needed to do. She moved her hips up and down, brushing, then more strongly, letting her own needs guide her movements.

Delphine could feel Cosima everywhere. The arms between her body and the bed, her kisses, sometimes on her face, sometimes on her neck, the chest pressing up and down into her own as their lower bodies moved together, the lower lips teasing her own, where wetness started to brush with wetness.

She both wanted more, and never wanted it to stop.

The blonde started to move her left leg up, hoping Cosima would understand what she wanted, even as she kept her steady pumping. Immediately the dreadlocked woman shifted up to let Delphine move her leg up between them, throwing it over Cosima's shoulder, before pressing back down.

Delphine's leg up opened her, opening her _wide_, Cosima found that suddenly her sex was pressing fully into the spread, slick wetness of Delphine.

When Delphine felt a clit slide up from the bottom of her slit up to press into her own, her head fell back, letting out a moan she didn't even know was waiting to come out.

"Yes. Cosima." She encouraged, feeling Cosima take it further, linking her right leg over her shoulder as well, while watching her face.

With both legs thrown over her shoulders, Delphine was effectively spread completely, waiting to feel what she knew was coming. Cosima pressed herself back into Delphine, quickly dipping her head in to catch the next moan with a kiss.

Cosima rubbed them together in moderate strokes, not rushing, but not teasing. She felt more than heard Delphine's whimpers when her clit stroked up, brushing her own, before moving back down, feeling Delphine's hands gripping her ass, with her legs spread wide on strong shoulders, trying to feel Cosima against as much of her at once as she physically could.

At some point, Cosima sped up on instinct, no longer able to kiss, only panting. Delphine's shaking only served to encourage her to grind faster, hearing the sound of wet on wet. Delphine's lower half was shaking so much that she knew she would get to feel her lose it while pressed against her.

Cosima moved her lips next to her ear, beginning to whisper between pants.

"Come for me." She said, seeing Delphine's face start to tense. "Come, love." Delphine whimpered in response, still shaking, grinding back up into Cosima's moving hips sloppily. Cosima somehow knew how to angle her movements so that they built up higher and higher, without Delphine having to whisper instructions or requests. Delphine felt the build up, knowing that it was fully from Cosima's touch, from feeling this body that knew her own instinctually.

"I want to feel you come." She whispered, panting again, pushing into her, before feeling Delphine's entire body stiffen, the hands on her ass stopping their gripping to grasp tightly, feel the wet, shaking pulse from Delphine's pussy, letting out one, then two more pumps of her own hips to join her in release, keeping their sexes pressed together.

They held themselves, pressed together, Cosima trailing kissing along Delphine's ear, then her jaw, then her cheek. She let Delphine catch her breath a bit more before moving back to her mouth, gently pressing them together. She could feel Delphine's pulse along with her own, their contractions still conversing with each other.

Delphine made no move to lower her legs, instead letting both sets of lips press against both sets of Cosima's, enjoying feeling joined. Cosima's soft kisses brought her back from her orgasm, slowly getting her hearing back.

Cosima started gently kissing with her tongue again, using loving licks in Delphine's mouth as she finally maneuvered the long legs off of her shoulders and back around her hips, where they quickly wrapped around Cosima's lower half.

They kissed gently, Delphine letting her hands trail along Cosima's now slightly sweaty body, feeling her shoulders and sides with her fingertips.

"I'm not letting you go." Cosima said, staying on top of Delphine, not wanting to even roll over and feel a loss of contact.

"I'm not going anywhere. Not ever again." She answered.


	12. Immobile

Chapter 12

_**Cosima's Voicemail**_

**BEEP **

"Yeah it's Felix. Seriously, Cosima, you could leave a note or something. How do I know you weren't just kidnapped by whatever psychotic group is in the mood this week for a life-sized Cosima doll? I thought when you said Delphine was coming, you meant here. So…I dunno, just text me and let me know you're alright, Houdini?"

**BEEP**

"Cos! It's Sarah. Damnit pick up your phone. Shit just hit the fan and Felix said you're not there. Just call him; I'm not going to be reachable in a moment and I don't know for how long. I need you right now so get your arse back to the apartment, with or without Delphine."

**BEEP**

"Cosima. I assume you are with Delphine, since she is not answering her cell phone either. This is Marion Bowles. I know that Delphine may or may not have planned on stopping by my home this weekend with you, but now I will ask that you please pass along that it is imperative that I see you both as soon as possible. And Cosima, I am not the type of woman who uses an adjective such as 'imperative' loosely. Have Dr. Cormier call me back please. Thank you."

**BEEP**

"Cosima Louise Neihaus, you need to call us back. I understand you not answering the phone after your little outburst at the restaurant, but your father and I expect you to at least return a call. We need to talk. Call us back."

**BEEP**

"Cosima, Hi, it's Alison, as in your sister Alison. Look they told me not to call you since everybody else already has, but that's how it always is, isn't it? Let's tell Alison what's going on last? Cute little Alison with the husband and the kids who just won't know any better if Sarah goes off and…ugh, Cosima just call ONE of us back at least please? If we don't hear from you soon, we're going to start searching for you."

**BEEP**

"Cosima, it's your father. I don't know what your mother left in her earlier message, but if you'd like you can call me instead of her. I know she's a little intense, princess, but you know how she doesn't do well with…impromptu exchanges in public. Let's all try not to overreact and just have a talk. Please call us."

**BEEP**

"COS. THIS IS SARAH. SERIOUSLY, WE'RE ALL AT MARION'S, YOU NEED TO GET YOUR BUM OVER HERE. BRING THE BLOODY DOCTOR."

* * *

><p>Cosima was well aware that her phone had been vibrating almost non-stop for over an hour, and was content to let it buzz away in her bag.<p>

In reality, having Delphine's body curled up around her side, with her head sleeping peacefully on her shoulder blocked out the urgency of everything else. She could ignore the world if it meant keeping Delphine on her shoulder. She blocked out the phone, the pins and needles of the arm Delphine had been sleeping on, as well as the growing need to use the restroom.

_Just a few more minutes_, she thought. She knew she could trace Delphine's skin if she used just the right touch not to wake her up, running her fingers over Delphine's shoulder and down her arm, light enough to not disturb but strong enough not to tickle.

The vibrating continued in the background enough to stir Delphine out of her sleep. She could tell immediately that it was sometime after sunrise, and that she was half-on top of a very warm, soft body. Before even opening her eyes all the way, the blonde immediately turned her head to kiss the skin she had been resting on, sleepily trailing her lips over a shoulder.

She hadn't woken up this happy in quite awhile.

Cosima responded by pulling her closer, kissing her forehead before moving her free arm up so she could stroke her hair. When Delphine finally opened her eyes to greet her, she was met with a smile.

They knew they were both thinking the same thing, so it would come down to a question of who was going to say it first.

"You're still here." Delphine said, smiling, as though just waking up still together was a battle victory. Cosima grinned back, leaning in to kiss her good morning.

"Still here." Cosima murmured when she pulled back. She now had her phone buzzing in the background, a dead arm, a need to pee, and a sudden urge to roll on top of the softness touching her skin. She went to maneuver her body over the taller woman's, planning on continuing the hours they spent reconnecting the night before. It wasn't enough; Cosima doubted she would ever feel they'd had enough after all they'd been through.

Cosima tried to roll them over. She really gave it her best effort, before she realized she was too exhausted and weak to roll over.

_This is not good_. She said in her head. _This is not good at all. _

She tried again, her left arm still asleep and proving to be absolutely useless. She suddenly felt like she had been hit by a train.

Delphine, who was still stroking the woman's cheek lovingly, saw the look in Cosima's eyes change from desire to panic.

"What's wrong?" She asked quickly.

Cosima tried to sit up, making it barely off of the bed six inches before collapsing back down.

"Cosima?" Delphine asked, now getting more worried.

"Delphine…I can't get up." Cosima said, her lip trembling.

She was fine a few hours ago. More than fine. She was energetic, moving and writhing beneath Delphine, on top of Delphine, on the side of Delphine, and for a shorter stint, half-hanging off the bed with her mouth attached to Delphine.

Now that the adrenaline surge had worn off, she couldn't muster the strength to get out of the bed.

_My phone. Everyone's probably looking for us. I still have to pee. _

"It's okay. I'm here now. I will help you up." Delphine offered, immediately sitting up.

Delphine put her arm around Cosima's body for the smaller woman to lean on, quickly feeling that the woman had _no_ strength, and couldn't use her as a simple crutch.

"Cosima? What's going on?" Delphine asked, frightened.

"I don't know. I can't move." Cosima said in a weak panic.

Delphine tried not to let her worst fears show through her face.

"It's okay. Last night was a lot." She got back into bed with Cosima, ignoring the vibrating coming from the overnight bag in the corner. "Let's just rest. I'm sure I can order us room service-"

"Delphine," Cosima interrupted gently but still maintaining the urgency of her low voice, "I'm not sex-tired. I have to pee and _I can't get up_." Cosima said, the fear apparent in her face.

"I am here. Delphine wasted no time answering, as though that could be a magic cure-all for anything happening. She paused for a moment, before giving Cosima a soft kiss and jumping up out of the bed.

She didn't bother putting any clothes on as she firmly stood next to the bed, putting Cosima's arm around her own shoulders.

"Delphine, I'm going to be too heavy." She said shakily. She really hoped they weren't going to have to call an ambulance, and if they did, she hoped Delphine was okay with dressing her.

"Shhh. You're fine. And if I remember correctly, I've picked you up and carried you before just fine." She smirked, trying to lighten the situation.

Cosima thought back to the last time Delphine had indeed carried her, when they were in Delphine's kitchen a few months back, and Cosima had managed to wrap both of her legs around the Frenchwoman's waist, allowing herself to be ravaged while being carried to the bed.

She let Delphine guide her body up, not able to help much, with Delphine supporting most of her weight. The walk to the bathroom was slow, with Delphines arms wrapped around her waist, waiting patiently for her to put one foot in front of the other while still holding her up. Delphine stayed strong while Cosima seemed more and more distraught over how little she could do at the moment, patiently encouraging her without rushing.

_Left foot_. "That's it. Lean on me, my love."

_Right foot. _"I've got you. Don't rush."

_Left foot. _Delphine pressed a kiss to her temple when they reached the bathroom door.

In truth, she was _very _scared at how weak Cosima was at the moment. She promised herself that as soon as coughing was added to the mix, she was call any and every contact she had in Toronto who was safe for help.

She set Cosima down on the toilet, still somewhat holding her upright. She noticed Cosima making no movement.

"It's okay. I'm still holding you. Just go." Delphine said, holding her tightly, pressing a kiss to her shoulder.

"You're going to hold me up while I pee? This is a new level of clone insanity." Cosima said, sounding dejected and very embarrassed.

"Cosima, how many times have you peed with me in the room?" Delphine asked, still holding up her body.

Cosima rolled her eyes. Of course, she peed in front of Delphine quite a few times before, but she hadn't needed _help_ to do it in the previous instances. She could feel the burn of her face turning red.

Delphine brought a hand to her cheek, stroking reassuringly.

"If it were me, Cosima, what would you be doing?" Delphine asked gently. Cosima brought her eyes to meet Delphine's. Of course, she would be doing the same. She would probably laugh and make jokes the whole way about it, and expect Delphine to be comfortable with her. She would hold her up for hours if she had to.

Cosima nodded, but still looked away when she began to relieve herself, with both of her arms using the tiny bit of strength she had to hang onto Delphine's shoulders, with the woman kneeling next to her. Delphine didn't miss a beat when Cosima was done, grabbing some toilet paper and making a wad.

"Delphine-" Cosima started.

"Don't let go of me." Delphine said, knowing Cosima could not even sit up by herself right now. She gently brought the paper down, brushing tenderly along the lips, the same way Cosima would have done herself, before dropping it in the water, and planting another kiss on Cosima's shoulder, choosing not to address the tear that Cosima had forming in the corner of her eye. The care of the blonde combined with her currently inabilities was overwhelming.

Delphine led her slowly, so slowly, quietly, and gently back to the bed, making sure she was comfortable before getting in next to her, curling this time around the opposite side she had the night before.

Cosima's phone buzzed yet again.

"Do you want me to get that for you? Or should I run out and get us something for breakfast?" Delphine offered, her hand pressed gently in the center of clone's chest.

"No. Don't leave." Cosima answered quickly. "Let's just see if I can rest enough to get some strength back."

"Cosima, if you can't move your body, I should really call Marion."

"No. At least—not yet. Just let me rest a bit, okay?" Cosima asked, trying to be less demanding with Delphine and more compromising.

"Okay. Well, how about some coffee?" Delphine motioned to the in-room coffee pot. Cosima smiled. If she was going to be bed ridden for a bit, she could at least luxuriate in having a gorgeous woman that she was in love with offering to wait on her.

"Sure." She watched as Delphine's naked bottom swaggered to the coffee pot. In fact, she couldn't take her eyes off of the woman, noticing every curve, every place her mouth had been the night before.

In the background, Cosima's phone went on to buzz again, and yet again, went ignored.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Cosima's Voicemail<strong>_

**BEEP**

"Cosima, I understand you're upset, but please, princess, call your mother or me back. Actually—don't call your mother, just me. The longer this drags out, the angrier she seems to get with the whole situation. Okay, call me soon."

**BEEP**

"Cosima? It's Alison again. Where are you? I know Delphine was getting back this weekend, but now I'm worried. Felix said you didn't even say goodbye to him before he left. Seriously, Cosima, we need to know that you're alright. You know I didn't sign up to play you for the rest of our lives, right? Call us please."

**BEEP**

"Cos, it's Sarah again and YOU NEED TO PICK UP THE BLOODY PHONE. Rachel's dead, alright? DEAD. We need to talk to you NOW, since Marion is about to bloody strangle me. I'll explain when you get here."

* * *

><p><strong>Authors Note: <strong>Just wanted to pop up a mini-chap before my life gets crazy again in the next couple of days! Not the full meal here, just a fic-snack ;)


	13. The Biggest Mistake

Chapter 13

Sarah couldn't have sat with her head hung any lower if she had tried. She would literally have to sit upside down, watching Marion and Sioban Sadler pace back and forth, seemingly in agreement over what they decided was Sarah's unavoidable rash stupidity. Felix and Alison were only nervous by association, but Sarah knew she was the one about to get her ass handed to her.

"Am I the only one who doesn't see the problem here? Good clones," Felix said, motioning to Alison and Sarah, "still alive. Bad clone, dead. I'm sorry if I missed the meeting where Rachel was awarded Clone of the Month, but it's not like we have to have a bloody funeral."

"Shut it, Felix. Shut your gab. You have no idea how much trouble this is going to be." Sioban scolded. Felix sat back with a huff, letting the women return to their pacing.

Marion suddenly stopped, addressing the room.

"Felix, do you think we would have let her live this whole time if she were a problem that needed to be taken care of? A real threat? The problem is when business problems become personal, and thanks to Sarah's little scheme, your personal problems just became much, much larger." Marion stopped, closing the doors to the lavish study. She poured two drinks from the decanter, handing one to Mrs. S. The lack of gesture to the other three wasn't unnoticed.

"Rachel was useful, believe it or not. She was starting to blur the lines between personal and business, but I was handling it. Like when I made sure you got out of the DYAD, Sarah." Marion's tone was much softer now, waiting for Sarah to lift her eyes. The disappointment that shone back at her from the two older women kept her silent.

"Rachel was absolutely necessary. She was tracking the Proletheans that had infiltrated DYAD, and was eradicating them one by one. Without her, there could still be spies. And by could be, I mean there are, and we are still working on plugging the leaks, so to speak. Also, having a clone as the face of clone technology was necessary. We have no way of explaining this to our investors, to our clients, to the other branches. We can't simply say that she was sick, because they don't know any of the clones have been sick. We can't say that she was murdered, much less by another clone. They'll start to think that a side effect of the cloning procedures is a mental imbalance. They'd demand that you all be locked up as a precaution."

"I'm not willing to take that one off the table just yet." Sioban added, still eyeing Sarah. Her sweet Sarah who she thought had finally settled down and stopped making terrible decisions that ultimately impacted everyone else.

"What do we do?" Alison asked, currently terrified of both of the women.

* * *

><p><em>The Day Before<em>

"Sarah, you have no idea how much I've looked forward to our…reunion." Rachel grinned, before getting out of her chair to slither over to her darker haired mirror image.

"We have so much to discuss. First, I think we should discuss what it feels like when ten centimeters of sharpened wood is propelled through an eyeball with no anesthetic. It really is an experience." Rachel was halfway between the side of the table she had sat on, and the side Sarah sat on, watching through slanted eyes.

The clone shifted slightly, making sure her handcuffs really were still unlocked.

"In fact, I don't think it is a sensation that words can encompass. And since Marion was so willing to give you up, so easily, such a simple exchange—well, that's going to be the first thing you experience here." Rachel crept closer, sitting on the edge of the table a mere foot away from Sarah.

"Of course, you'll live. It's not simple pain that can kill a woman, but the pain will be unbearable. We need you alive for that oophorectomy, and I do look forward to that." Rachel leaned in closer, enough that the cracks on her lips between the painted on deep red could be seen.

"Make no mistake. I only need you alive for that long. Any questions, my new experiment?" Rachel was surprised when the clone nodded, stunned at the audacity.

She waited, wanting to hear what Sarah had to say. She wanted her to beg for her life, so she could rip her out of the chair and stab out her eye.

"You have a question?" Rachel asked curiously.

Sarah nodded again before answering.

"Why do you want to hurt my sestra when you are sestra too?" Rachel's eyes went wide with realization before the imposter clone flipped off the handcuffs, and stood up to jab the hidden knife directly into the artery in Rachel's neck.

Helena's movements were too quick; Rachel would never get to answer the question. Helena watched the woman writhe with blood spurting violently from the deadly wound, waiting until the short-haired clone was on the floor, the life draining from her face.

"I used to be like you. Then I found my family. You will never hurt her."

* * *

><p><em>Present Day<em>

Delphine was doing little things to test how much Cosima could do. Clearly, she could talk, even if her voice sounded exhausted. She could move her arms in little bits. Delphine would hold her hand in the bed next to her, toying with her fingers affectionately to make sure she had dexterity and the strength to hold things, and she was holding her paper coffee cup on her own. That was at least comforting.

She kept Cosima talking. She wanted to make sure Cosima wasn't getting worse, and she would have no way of knowing if she let her stay quiet for too long.

Cosima was too quick witted for Delphine's investigation to go unnoticed. The third time Delphine gently moved her head from side to side with her hand on her cheek, she knew it wasn't just affection. She was checking her range of motion.

"Honestly, _Doctor Cormier_, if you're going to examine me, you could just ask me." Cosima said, watching Delphine laugh.

_Of course she knew. _

"Okay." Delphine sat up, putting her hand on Cosima's thigh. "Can you feel this?" She asked seriously.

"Yes, I can feel it. I haven't lost sensation." Cosima said.

Delphine moved her hand down to a calf under the blankets, tapping on the top of the bone.

"Then tell me where I'm tapping." Delphine said.

"The top of my left leg. I can still feel, Delphine. I just don't have the energy to stand myself…or the neuropathways, but I'm leaving that as worst-case scenario. Just relax." Cosima said, waiting for Delphine to return pressed against her side. "Just talk to me." Cosima said.

Delphine suddenly didn't know what to say. They talked every night, and now that they were occupying the same bed under the same blanket, she didn't know where to begin. She thought for a moment before just letting everything out without a filter, taking Cosima's hand back into her own, propping herself up on her elbow.

"What should I talk about?"

Cosima smiled. "You've never had a girlfriend before me, right?" She asked, knowing the answer.

"No. You know that. Just you." Delphine smiled back.

"Well, then you're in for a treat. This will be the first time a woman asks you, out of the blue, 'so…what are you thinking about'?" Delphine laughed, part of it in relief that Cosima still had her personality. Delphine went back to playing with Cosima's fingers, stroking the hand while lying next to her.

"What am I thinking about? I think that two years ago, when I had just finished my Ph. D., and I started working at DYAD…I was very naïve. I mean that in the sense that life was so simple, even while being really stressful. I thought I understood what life was. You get a career that you are passionate about, maybe one day you get married too…I never questioned it." Cosima nodded, swallowing while the woman continued.

"I didn't even know what it felt like to have real feelings until you, Cosima. I've never questioned life so much, being a live, human being…I've never felt real feelings like this. I didn't know it was possible."

"What do you mean?" Cosima dug deeper, observing Delphine as she spoke.

"I've never felt such urgency with someone, you know? Like a deep seeded need. Like when the need is about someone else, but it originates inside of me. I've never had the _need_ to get back to someone overtake my ability to think. I've never _needed_ someone the way I needed you last night, and I didn't even realize how great that need was until I had you back. I've never questioned _anything_, until I met you; authority, how life works, if there is a God, what a human being is, what I am, what love is…I feel like a child learning to walk because the first time they were really crawling, only they didn't know they were only crawling until walking presented itself as a possibility. Do you know what I'm saying? _Mon Dieu_, I don't even know what I'm saying." Delphine trailed off, shaking her head. She gathered her thoughts for a moment, Cosima waiting patiently, watching her collect herself with loving eyes.

"What I'm saying is, when you finally do learn to walk, even though you didn't even know you could, it's easier to do it when someone's holding your hand." Delphine finished, leaning down to press a kiss to Cosima's knuckles, keeping her lips pressed there while closing her eyes.

"Call Marion." Cosima said, so softly that Delphine thought she misheard her.

"What?" She asked, moving her gaze up to the glass-covered eyes.

"Do it. I can't move, and I'm being stubborn and selfish. And I think that I need to remember that when I do that, it hurts both of us, not just me." Cosima let Delphine press a soft kiss to her lips, letting the woman caress her cheek for a moment before the blonde hopped out of bed to grab her cell phone. She walked over to Cosima's bag as well, grabbing the clone's and tossing it to her.

"You might as well see who else is looking for us." Delphine immediately frowned, seeing just how many times Marion had indeed tried to call her.

Cosima looked at her phone, sighing in a huff. Of course, the one night she has with Delphine in months is the night everyone wants to blow up her phone. She rolled her eyes until she heard Delphine's side of her own conversation.

"I'm sorry…no, it's not just that…that's going to be a problem…it's Cosima, she can't move…not totally paralyzed, but something is definitely wrong. She can't walk…no, not like that, like even after sleeping no energy, like if someone had mono or the Spanish Flu but she doesn't have any other symptoms." Delphine walked back over to Cosima, not noticing their continued nudity, but the intrusive conversation with an outsider suddenly made Cosima very aware that they never bothered to get dressed.

She felt Delphine press her lips to her forehead, holding it for a few seconds.

"No, Marion, no fever either. It's an isolated symptom, but…" Cosima noticed Delphine lower her voice, even knowing they were still in the same room, "I am worried. Please…Really? Uh-huh…Okay…interesting…of course, absolutely…Thank you."

"Am I about to be smuggled out of here so nobody knows another clone is going down?" Cosima quipped.

Delphine started grabbing clothes, throwing them on herself, then grabbing things from Cosima's bag.

"Charlotte has been having the same issue. She doesn't get out of bed every day anymore."

"Huh. Well, there goes my hope that it's just a cold coming on." Cosima pressed her cell phone to her ear, starting to go through the mass of voicemails. Her snarkiness was washing away the fear, giving the doctor hope that this really was a temporary exhaustion. Delphine laughed as Cosima would occasionally roll her eyes at whatever she was listening to, as she tried to maneuver the woman around to get her dressed. She had just gotten Cosima's shirt over her head, the cell phone leaving the ear briefly, before she went to grab pants, and a strong, gripping arm grabbed her and stopped her. Delphine looked up.

"Delphine, Rachel's dead." Cosima said in shock, the phone still to her ear finishing the last message.

* * *

><p>Cosima was rolled in on her new wheelchair to the room where the others were currently shouting at each other. The frantic discussion carried on for another few seconds, until Alison happened to look over to the doorway, seeing Delphine pushing Cosima in a wheelchair.<p>

"Cosima! What happened?" Alison rushed over, followed quickly by Sarah.

"Cos, are you alright? I knew I should have went out looking for you when you weren't answering. You always call us right back. What's going on?" Sarah asked, looking up at Delphine for answers.

"It's alright." Cosima said. "I'm not injured, I'm just having a sick day."

_A sick day, like when you're a kid and you have the flu, only I might die. _

"A sick day that requires a wheelchair?" Alison asked, her eyes bouncing back and for the between Delphine and Cosima, waiting for a better explanation.

"Yes." Cosima said simply, letting Delphine finish wheeling her into the room, forcing Alison to drop it for the moment.

"Good, you're both here. Please come in. We have some things to go over." Marion said, motioning for everyone to shift around to make room for the newcomers.

"We have some significant issues to deal with at the moment, so I'll quickly catch you two up." Marion began.

"We know that Rachel's dead." Cosima said quickly, figuring she'd just interrupt rather than let Marion waste her breath building up to that climax.

"Yes, I do have to learn at this point not to completely and blindly trust Sarah." Marion said, eyeing Sarah through narrow lids.

"I didn't tell her to bloody kill her, did I? She was just supposed to rough them up a bit and steal some files. I didn't think pulling a switch on Rachel would lead to such a bloody mess." Sarah tried to defend herself, knowing she shouldn't have told Marion that she was going and then swiping with Helena, but she also couldn't say that she was particularly sorry about hearing that Rachel was indeed taken care of.

"Alright, this conversation isn't going anywhere, Sarah. Let's let Marion finish." Mrs. S. stepped in.

Sarah side-eyed Mrs. S., noticing that the whole time they were at Marion's, the two were interacting like they knew each other, not simply of each other. It was as though they had known each other for quite some time, in fact.

How much did they not know about Sioban Sadler?

"Thank you, let's not use this time to argue, we can sort out details later. The first issue is the Prolethean situation. We do have a Prolethean problem at DYAD, and have from almost the very beginning. I'm going to go ahead and give everyone in this room the benefit of the doubt. I will, however, make it know that we have a new policy: anybody who is found to be a Prolethean, who spies for them, even provides the slightest bit of information to traitors will be exterminated. There will be no gray area. Anyone who is not fully on our side can leave now."

Marion paused, noticing the silence in the room. Of course, if the room had any actual Proletheans, the person wouldn't be stupid enough to go storming out and blow their cover, but at least if there were any issues she made it known what the policy would be. There would not be another Maggie Chen.

"Good. Next, I would like to break us into two committees, since we have to figure out how to cover the Rachel situation from a public relations perspective, but we can't actually tell public relations that she's no longer going to be with us, and also we need to keep working on the illness issue." She noticed that it was still dead silent, but now there were slight nods, and Sarah, who had previously been avoiding eye contact was now watching intently along with the rest. Marion took it as a move of loyalty; something she couldn't doubt of Sarah even if she did make decisions on her own in haste.

"Alison, Felix, and Sarah are going to come with me to my home office, and we're going to figure out how to handle the Rachel situation. Nobody outside of this room is to know that Rachel is dead. Nobody, understood?" The group nodded, at which point Marion nodded over to Sioban.

"Right. That leaves Cosima and Delphine to come with me, to work on the clone illness." Mrs. Sadler could feel Sarah's eyes staring straight into the side of her face, with the question that she toyed with asking burning through her eyes.

Sioban decided to put Sarah out of her misery, knowing that this was all she would think about if she didn't offer some sort of explanation.

"You two are coming with me because I have been familiar with the DYAD almost as long as Marion, and I may be familiar with things that while they seem not to be relevant to the illness, maybe you two scientifically may find them of use." She stated simply, making it clear that she would not be elaborating further.

Sarah's stare only grew harder. She had just had her suspicions confirmed; that Mrs. S. had been aware that she was a clone from the start, and had some sort of connection to DYAD from the beginning, one that reached beyond simply knowing Ethan Duncan.

* * *

><p>Sioban Sadler noticed that Delphine situated herself as close to Cosima in the wheelchair as possible. Cosima, who refused to sit in the chair with a blanket on, explaining that she refused to look like a 1920's tuberculosis patient, was letting her had be gripped, staring at Mrs. S. like she was staring at a robbery taking place before her eyes.<p>

"I suppose you two want some answers." She said, sitting across from them at the table. It was quite a small table, not large enough to be a formal dining room, possibly a second, more cozy dining space. The two women nodded, never really having been left alone with Mrs. S. before, and not really knowing where to begin.

"You have to understand, Cosima," she started, focusing on the sick clone, "that at the time we thought tampering with human genetics through cloning would solve the world's problems. What if someone was starving, and they were able to digest part of their own body and grow it back? What if someone were thirsty, and able to triple filter their own piss? Why couldn't we support making human beings that eventually wouldn't succumb to the preventable problems of today?"

"We? Are you a doctor?" Delphine asked, not letting go of Cosima's hand for a second.

"Me?" Sioban let out a laugh at the ridiculousness of the thought. "No, dear. I worked with a number of human rights organizations, trying to stop things like world hunger, war, and yes, illnesses."

Cosima started to say something, before letting out a weak cough instead. Delphine immediately sat up straight, rubbing the clone's back.

"Cosima-"

"It's fine." She said one she was done, happy there was no more blood in her coughing fits these days. "It's just a regular cough, not a blood cough."

Delphine nodded, leaving her hand on Cosima's back, bringing the other to intertwine back with Cosima's hand.

"If you were trying to stop people from getting sick, why would you do anything that would support making clones sick on purpose?" Delphine shot over, starting to dislike Mrs. S. and her spotty explanations.

"It wasn't just 'making them sick on purpose'. Delphine, you're a doctor. Tell me, what will immunology look like in a hundred years?" The older woman pressed.

"It will do what it does now, but hopefully better." Delphine answered quickly, as though it wasn't even a thought.

"Sure, that's what we all want, but what will immunology _look _like? Will it be more vaccinations? Will it be more and stronger medications, but you have to wait for someone to fall ill to give it to them? When DYAD first approached us for help in swinging certain legislations through, it was with the idea that the future of immunology would be that humans can grown their own stem cells from a reserve of them in their bodies." She said, pausing to let the scientists do their own thinking for a moment.

"But adults already make stem cells. We have bone marrow, blood…" Cosima started, before she was gently interrupted.

"I know love, but the way it was explained to me was that the clones were going to grow a full stem cell reserve in their own bodies that would be identical to baby umbilical cord cells-"

"Which means they would be completely undifferentiated, which means they could be used in many, many different kinds of therapies, beyond blood or bone marrow." Delphine finished.

"She's telling the truth." Marion said, who had appeared in the doorway at some point with nobody noticing until she spoke up. "You, Cosima, weren't supposed to get sick, you were supposed to have a stem cell reserve of undifferentiated cells in your uterus in case you ever did get sick. You would have your own future disease treatments, already compatible from your system, already available. No waiting for donations, no finding a match. The side effect of being sterile, well…we were willing to let that exist if it meant virtually never having a serious disease."

Delphine and Cosima would both have been in science heaven if it weren't for the fact that the idea, which them became an experiment, which then became _people_, living, breathing, loveable human beings, weren't all in danger of having an deadly illness rather than everlasting health.

"It does make sense. The future of immunology cannot exist on vaccines alone. We know this…I would never have thought of adults growing their own stem cell reserve." Delphine trailed off, taking in the genius of the idea that was not quite executed properly.

"But it didn't work. We did a biopsy, Delphine. My masses aren't undifferentiated stem cells." Cosima said, clearly not as enthralled with the theory as Delphine. In fact, it only seemed to agitate her.

"Once we found out that there wasn't just going to be one clone for Ethan to raise as a normal child, but there were going to be multiples, we thought it was going to be too risky for the children. That's when I started working on the smuggling line to try to rescue clones, as well as surrogates. We thought that if they were successful, then there might be a human trafficking market for clone children, the way there is a black market for organs now." Sioban added.

Cosima and Delphine stared back at Mrs. S., wondering just how many clones other than Sarah she was aware of. Cosima also wondered if Sarah even knew about this. She would either have a lot of questions, or she would be so tremendously pissed at the woman for keeping it from her that it would be a breaking point in their relationship.

"Okay, so I'm supposed to have growths, but I'm not supposed to be sick." Cosima said, taking in a deep breath, "So why then doesn't everyone get sick? And why have some progressed more quickly than I have?" She asked, the anger in her tone at all of the information shining through.

"That's what I need you to find out." Marion said, walking over to a cabinet and pulling out a large stack of files. "This is the background on every clone that we've maintained contact with, including the updated information on Sarah. Cosima, I think that you would be best suited to try to find the link between what makes some clones sick and others not. It has to be environmental; there is no other explanation. Delphine, I was hoping you would be so kind as to help us in the other room with our other project-"

"No." Delphine's answer was immediate, shocking both Marion and Cosima. "I am not leaving her." Delphine said, tightening her grip on Cosima.

"I don't mean leaving the building, Dr. Cormier. We're just in the other room-"

"No. I am not leaving her side. Not again. Not for a very long time." Delphine looked at Cosima, noticing Cosima didn't interrupt her to tell her to go ahead, instead squeezing Delphine's hand back.

"I'm sorry, Marion. But if you want us working with you, she's gotta stay in here with me." Cosima said, not letting go of Delphine as much as Delphine refused to let go of Cosima.

"Okay." Marion said, making the concession. Having them work on the illness was top priority anyway. "In that case, Sioban, perhaps you can assist? We may have a plan on how to deal with the Rachel situation, but we're going to need another body. One that doesn't look like Rachel."

"Of course." Sioban said, standing, before looking back down at the two women still clutching each other. "I'd appreciate you letting me tell Sarah about this on my own. She's going to have a lot of questions, and she deserves to hear the answers from me."

Cosima nodded. After the two women left, Cosima and Delphine finally loosened their grip on each other and started looking through files.

"Alright, since we are starting, I think we should make two piles: one of sick clones, one of healthy." Delphine said, starting to reach for the stacks before feeling a gentle tug on her shirt, pulling her closer.

She let Cosima, even in her weakness, use her little bit of strength to pull her in for a firm kiss, holding Delphine's shirt, keeping them together for a minute.

"_Mon Amour?_" Delphine asked, smiling.

"That was for not leaving me." Cosima said, smiling back, pressing their foreheads together.

_The files can wait another minute_, Delphine thought, pressing in for another gentle kiss.


	14. Always Two

Chapter 14

"It doesn't make sense. You, Jennifer, Katja, Shannon…all the clones with the best environmental factors are the ones who became the most sick. Sarah and Helena, the two with the most turbulent upbringing, are fine."

Delphine was still mulling over the files they had poured over during their four hours at Marion's home, even as she and Cosima sat in the large, lavish bath tub in Delphine's hotel suite. She mused over their observations while running a bath sponge over the clone, who made no movement to acknowledge that they were indeed in a bath and not somewhere to take a nap.

She could see Cosima was about to fall asleep after not getting any stronger over the course of the day. It was clear that while they both needed a bath, Cosima also needed sleep. Delphine also couldn't turn off her brain.

"Mmm hmm." Was Cosima's answer, closing her eyes and letting Delphine run the sponge over her arms, and Delphine loved every moment of it. Not that Cosima was exhausted, but that she was there to take care of her; to do the tender things behind the scenes like giving them a bath. She made a vow to herself to be grateful for every moment together, big and small.

"It makes no sense. Why wouldn't the two runaway clones be sick? The ones who didn't have regular access to food until they were eight or nine? The ones who didn't have appropriate vaccinations as a child?" It was bothering the doctor. It was an enigma, particularly as the ones who were the most unhealthy in their upbringing were not just healthy, but fertile. It made no sense, which drove Delphine nuts.

"Maybe because they are twins? The first nine months of their lives were spent sharing resources, maybe that became engrained in their genetic ability or something." Cosima said, not bothering to open her eyes. The bath did feel nice, after a long day of exhaustion.

"Maybe. I have never heard of that affecting twins into adulthood though. But it's worth looking into…Do I wash these?" Delphine asked, dropping the sponge and touching Cosima's dreadlocks.

Cosima laughed weakly. "Yes, I wash them. Just soapy water though, I don't use regular shampoo." Delphine giggled, suddenly feeling foolish with the unfamiliar hairstyle.

Cosima moved slightly to let Delphine sit behind her, taking the dreads out of the hair tie. She grabbed a cup from the side, letting the soapy water run down over the hair, starting to rub each one individually.

"Like this?" She asked, not really knowing what to do.

"Mmmm…that's great." Cosima said. Maybe this whole never having energy thing wasn't so bad.

Delphine continued to work the dreads, using the opportunity to massage into Cosima's scalp between the starting points of each lock. She could feel Cosima's little hums, her body vibrating as it relaxed between the blonde's legs. She took her time with each one, holding the tiniest piece of Cosima in her hands, carefully washing it with reverence. She had never taken the time to appreciate the little intricacies of Cosima before, even as she often enjoyed the hair curtaining around her during the times when Cosima was on top of her. She hadn't expected them to be coarse and soft at the same time, much as she never had expected back when Cosima had first kissed her that Cosima was exactly the same way.

"So Cosima, who was raised on organic, local whole foods ends up sicker than Helena, who stole for food for the majority of her life. Did you ever even have chicken pox?" Delphine asked, continuing her tender care of Cosima.

"Shhhh. Delphine, no more science today. Wow, I never thought I'd be tired enough to say that." Cosima settled back to lean on Delphine, letting the taller woman wrap her arms around her.

"I am sorry. Once I get started on something, I can't just turn it off." Delphine said, kissing along Cosima's shoulder.

"Let's try not to think about clone stuff when we're alone for a bit, okay? The clone part of our lives isn't our whole lives." Cosima said, letting their fingers interlace across her torso.

_It's not? _Delphine thought. For most of the last year of her life, the 'clone stuff' _was_ her life. She didn't have a single hobby, or stay in touch with old friends. It had consumed her existence, first the science of it, then Cosima, then the separation.

"What else in our lives should we…I mean, I don't know-"

"Delphine, once we have things settled down, and we can just go back to being regular scientists who don't live their science every day…I think we should start planning for that." _I need to start planning for that_, is what Cosima meant to say, but held back.

"Ah, planning for when we have normal lives. Are we ever going to have normal lives?" Delphine asked to herself as much as Cosima.

Cosima paused, thinking it over.

"No, I guess not. I'm always going to be a clone, we're always going to be obsessed with our work. At some point though, it would be nice not to do those things while fearing for our lives. I'm just going to go ahead and work with the idea that we've won when the 'fearing for our lives' is over. Then what?" Cosima was trying in a round about way to have a relationship conversation, but she could see that they would always be wrapped up in their science, in answering the questions of the universe, probably not running a pack of kids to and from soccer practice.

"Well, I suppose we have to decide if we're staying in Toronto, if we have a choice, assuming DYAD still exists and we work there." Delphine paused, letting Cosima get in a little "huh" and nod. "Then we decide if we want a house in the country or the city." Another pause, and a little squeeze from Cosima's hand. "Then—we can do anything we want to, really. No limits. Okay, one limit. We are not becoming marijuana farmers."

Cosima let out a laugh at that one. "Okay, no home farming projects. Got it. Otherwise…the rest sounds nice. We should think about…where we want to live." Cosima turned so she could see Delphine's face.

"Cosima, why do you ask me these things?" Delphine asked hopefully, kissing Cosima's forehead.

"I like us to think about what we're still putting up with all of this madness for." She answered.

* * *

><p>The only people left in Marion's study at the end of the evening were Mrs. S., Sarah, and Marion herself, all taking in a heaping dose of scotch. It didn't help Sarah's stewing anger that Marion insisted on speaking as though she wasn't in the room.<p>

"How much did you tell the scientists?" Marion asked tensely.

"Not everything. Just what they need to know to work."

"And what the bloody hell is that supposed to mean?" Sarah threw in, reminding the older women of her presence.

"Well chicken, I thought you deserved some of the bigger information before we throw anything else at Cosima." Sioban answered calmly, hoping in tandem to calm Sarah.

"She did not look well today. Worse than Charlotte. I'm concerned." Marion said, still not addressing Sarah. Sarah thought it was odd, she looked strangely afraid of addressing her directly, almost nervous.

"I agree. That's why we need to start giving them everything." Sioban paused before turning back to Sarah. "Everything."

Sarah took another gulp of the scotch, waiting to see what this was all about. Suddenly, with both older women staring at her, she felt her body tense, not sure if she was going to lash out or run away. She was already on edge, not agreeing with the plan to cover up Rachel's death. Now it seemed she was in for another unpleasant ride.

"Sarah, love, you met the woman who carried you to term already." Mrs. S. started, gauging Sarah's reaction.

"Yeah. And she was filleted. Gone. I already know who she is. What are you getting at?"

"You do, but you don't know where the eggs she was carrying came from, do you?"

The pause after that last sentence tensed everyone in the room. Marion hadn't blinked, eyes set on Sarah.

"You know who the original was?" Sarah asked, staring back at the women intensely.

"Sort of. We know of two women who donated eggs to be cloned. We don't know which woman they chose to use, but it's a start." Sarah's face fell immediately.

"You knew this whole time of two women I could have come from, and didn't say anything? You kept this from me?" Sarah was now too in shock to be angry.

"Actually," Marion interrupted, "we were going to tell you, all of you much earlier, but we decided that when Helena killed your birth mother that it was too high risk. We didn't know if she would come after us next if we told you."

"Us?" Sarah asked, eyes bouncing back and forth between the two women, who slowly nodded, as the information sunk slowly into Sarah's mind like a foggy mist.

* * *

><p>The loud knocking at the hotel suite's door at 2:30 AM had Delphine jumping out of bed, throwing on a robe, and running to stop the sound before it woke Cosima. She didn't even look through the peephole before throwing open the door.<p>

"Alison!" She whispered, startled to find Cosima's sister at the door, cradling half of a bottle of wine, looking like she had spent the better part of the evening crying.

"Delphine, I didn't get a chance to say how happy I was that you got to come back to Cosima, and that I got to see you one last time…before…" Alison burst into tears, not able to finish the sentence.

Delphine's eyes went wide. She couldn't let her in; Cosima clearly needed her sleep. She also couldn't just send Alison off in the condition she was in.

"Alison," She whispered, "what happened? Cosima is asleep-we have to be quiet."

"Actually, wide awake in here. I'm sick, not deaf." She heard from inside the room. Delphine rolled her eyes, opening the door up to let Alison in.

Cosima adjusted her eyes to the sudden flick of the light switch, blinking for a moment before reaching for her glasses. Delphine was suddenly thankful she had put nightshirts on both of them before climbing into bed.

"What happened? What's going on?" Cosima asked, sitting up abruptly.

"Cosima!" Delphine shouted urgently.

"What?" The clone asked, still blinking through her glasses.

"You sat up!" Delphine said smiling, immediately climbing into bed next to the clone.

"Yeah, I guess I did." Cosima said, smirking. She still felt like garbage, and so, _so_ tired. But she had the strength to sit upright.

"This is good!" Delphine said, forgetting for a moment that Alison was still standing awkwardly at the foot of the bed.

"Let's worry about me in a minute, okay?" She said, putting her hand on Delphine's cheek, giving it a little caress with her thumb, before turning back to the Mabelline-streaked mess standing before them. "Alison, what's going on?"

"They're going to kill me, that's what!" Alison shouted, stunning both of the women. "Well, they're not supposed to actually kill me, they're supposed to stage it so it looks like Rachel being killed, but this can't end well! Like I'm just supposed to trust that everything's going to go according to plan!"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, let's back this up for one second." Cosima said, moving her arms around as she spoke, another feat of strength that didn't escape Delphine's notice.

"I have to pretend to be Rachel, and they have to pretend to kill me." Alison took another swig of the wine. Cosima noticed that they finally seemed to have reached the point where Alison was driven right back to the bottom of a bottle. However, she reasoned, if she were in the same situation, she couldn't say she wouldn't be doing the same.

"Oh Alison, I'm so sorry…but it actually makes sense. It's the only way to have Rachel dead in a way that doesn't hurt us. If we can make the death look like it happened in a normal circumstance that we can make a controlled environment-" Cosima cut off Delphine's spiral into the possibilities with a simple hand on her arm, giving her a small smile to let her know she needed to stop the tangent.

"What Delphine is trying to say, Alison, is that this could actually be a really good thing, and that we're not going to let them accidentally kill you in the process. How are they doing it?" Cosima asked.

"They're either having a plane crash or a shooting at a public press conference with blanks, but either way that weekend I'm supposed to take Gemma and Oscar for their once a month SAT prep and this is just _unfair_."

"Alison, aren't your kids like twelve? You know the SAT's aren't for another five years?"

"I am not leaving my children's collegiate future up to a public school crapshoot, Cosima. I pay entirely too much in taxes for my children to end up at a community college. Not that there's anything wrong with that." Alison tagged on in a whisper at the end, as though the entire North American community college educational system could hear her if she hadn't.

"We could do it." Delphine said, looking back and forth between Alison and Cosima.

Cosima took a moment to be stunned. Did Delphine just volunteer her for a suburban babysitting job?

"Could you? The tutor usually comes to the house while Donnie's at the country club, and then I go over the material with them. Oh! This is perfect! Two Ph. D.'s are probably much better for test prep than the college kid I have coming over now! Maybe you could just do it without the tutor?" Alison asked with such wide kitten eyes that Cosima knew Delphine was about to agree to the whole she-bang.

"Of course, but Cosima never finished her-"

"We'd love to, Al." Cosima finished for her, putting her hand back on top of Delphine's with a smile.


	15. Shots

Chapter 15

Delphine was having some trouble wheeling Cosima into Alison's home, have some steps to go up.

"I can do the stairs, Delphine. I just need some help." She said, expecting Delphine to hush her immediately and try to drag her and the wheelchair up.

"Alright." She replied, putting her hand out for Cosima to grab. The hand out, the working together in cooperation didn't go unnoticed by Cosima. She had to do quite a bit of work to hoist the clone's body up, but Cosima was able to support more of her own body weight than she could have five days earlier. Still, Delphine had insisted on the wheelchair for around the house moving as a precaution, noticing that Cosima still napped during the day, couldn't walk on her own, and needed help opening bottles or jars.

"I've got you." Delphine said, as Cosima worked to step up with her left foot.

"You always do. Careful, you're going to get me used to you doing half of everything for me." Delphine just smiled; she liked the idea of doing half of everything with Cosima, it was simply the circumstances that were undesirable.

Once inside, Alison wasted no time outlining the lesson plan for the day, with the children sulking in the corner, knowing that their entire day was about to be spent on schoolwork instead of playing. The pair listened to Alison tick off rule after rule, most of which was not being closely listened to.

"And they are going to want to head straight to the cookie jar as soon as I leave, and they are not allowed to. Under no circumstances are they to visit the cookie jar; they are to spend today on Math. Gemma is going to try to steer you to English because that's her favorite, just be firm. I will be home for dinner," Alison took a breath to pause, "If I'm still alive."

Cosima rolled her eyes from her wheelchair, following Alison's panic induced instructions.

"You're going to be fine. Everyone's going to be there. Do you think Felix or Sarah would really let anything happen to you? Go. We're going to have a great time."

"You have a wheelchair?" Oscar asked, poking his head out from the corner.

"I do, but hopefully it's just temporary, kid."

"And you're a scientist?" He asked, coming closer.

"Like Stephen Hawking!" Gemma said, coming up to them as well.

"Yes, she's just like Stephen Hawking. So you're going to listen to Cosima and Delphine today." She stopped to give each child a kiss on the head. "I'll be back later, and I expect to hear that you were perfectly behaved. I mean it."

As soon as the door clicked shut, signaling Alison's exit, the children burst.

"Are you a genius? What do you do when you're a scientist? Do you get to go into space? Do you have a lab? Can we do experiments? Can we do experiments with cookies?" The questions came from every direction, giving Cosima a chuckle.

"Whoa, let's slow down there. I'm not that kind of scientist. And Delphine's a scientist too." Cosima said, watching both children immediately turn their heads.

"Do you get to go into space?" Gemma asked.

"No." Delphine laughed. "I do much more fun things." Delphine teased, waiting for the children to sit down across from them at the table. If nothing else, at least she knew she could hold their attention for awhile. "I am an immunologist. Do you know what that is?"

Both children shook their heads.

"Have you ever had a shot?" Cosima asked, watching two small faces immediately fall in fear.

"No shots! We already had those this year." Oscar whined, the two immediately backing up.

"Don't worry, we don't just walk around sticking people with needles." Delphine added, not getting a response from the terrified looking children.

"Ooookay, maybe we should just get to the lesson?"

* * *

><p>Alison could feel her heart pounding as she slipped on Rachel's heels, knowing what was waiting for her in the pressroom downstairs. She carefully applied one more layer of lipstick, all too aware that she was actually wearing the outfit of a dead woman, picked directly from Rachel's abandoned penthouse for the occasion.<p>

She practiced her speech in the mirror, taking advice from Mrs. S. to sound less like the Queen of England, and more like if Dr. Evil were a thirty-year old woman who enjoyed dominating her genetic identicals.

Deep breathing, deep breath, practicing the lines over and over again until the shots were supposed to ring out.

The door opened, showing Marion and two men she was not familiar with.

"Rachel, would you care to join us in the green room? We're almost ready to go on."

* * *

><p>"Question four: what is the Pythagorean theorem?" Delphine read from the pre-prepared lesson plan.<p>

"A squared plus B squared equals C squared." Two children answered in unison, holding their faces in their hands out of boredom.

"Correct! Yay! Good job!" Cosima was trying to temper the boredom by being really enthusiastic.

"Question five: what is the quadratic equation? Wait, that's really a question? They're twelve." Cosima read, further shocked when the two continued to answer in unison.

"Negative B plus or minus the square root of B squared minus four A, C, all divided by two A." They answered together.

"Holy shit." The woman looked at the children through her glasses as though she had just been given the secret key to the universe through a Sesame Street song.

"Cosima!" Delphine said, appalled that Cosima had just sworn in front of the children. Not just any children, but _Alison's_ children. She was shocked that some sort of nanny-alarm didn't just go off.

"What? They don't need prep, Delphine, they're pretty much geniuses." Cosima said, blown away by how much these kids knew.

"Are you a genius, like Stephen Hawking?" Oscar couldn't help himself.

"No, kid, I'm not. I just read a lot of books and work very, very hard." Cosima said.

"She's lying. She's a genius. I'm willing to bet that you two have a bit of genius in there as well." Delphine said, hoping the children were less afraid of her now. She was in that moment happy that she and Cosima had elected not to wear white lab coats, even though Alison had requested it.

"We already know the answers. We've been doing this for two years." Gemma grumbled, hoping to get the pity of her tutoring sitters.

"Yeah? Then why don't we teach you something that you want to learn about?" Cosima asked, more than happy to drop the excrutiating lesson plan.

"Oooo!" Gemma said raising her hand, waiting to be called on like they were suddenly in a class.

"Go ahead, Gemma." Cosima nodded.

"Can you teach us what it's for?"

"What what's for?" Cosima asked back. They knew what this was for; the formulas they had to memorize for circles, triangles, equations.

"What is math _for_? Like we know how to do it, but we don't really know why we're supposed to care? Who cares about a triangle? Triangles are stupid. Why do I have to learn this?" Oscar nodded along to his sister's lobbying effort, hoping for a reprieve from the constant studying.

"What is math _for?_" Cosima asked back, getting nods in response. "It's not what it's for, it's what _is_. Math is everything. It's a symbol for how everything works."

"Huh?" Gemma asked, suddenly much more perked up than when they were in the rote memorization phase of the day.

"She's right. You keep mentioning Stephen Hawking. Do you know that he used math to prove how black holes work in space? How do you think he did that? The numbers tell us stories." Cosima leaned in, sensing she had gained their full attention. "If you know how the numbers of something work, you know how it works and what it'll do. Anything! Electricity, space, time, travel, weather…"

"Even people? Do we work like numbers?"

Cosima immediately looked at Delphine while answering, "Yes. Especially people. Behavior and the human body. It can all be represented with math." Cosima kept staring at Delphine, who seemed to have the same lightbulb click on in her head, immediately getting up to get her bag that had the spreadsheets in it of all their file information.

"Okay guys, here's the thing. I'm stuck in a wheelchair right now, so I'm going to need some help. You have a chalkboard in your playroom, right?"

"Right, but we're not allowed to have chalk in here, or move the chalkboard." Oscar answered immediately in a way that Cosima could see was completely trained. Cosima immediately felt for the children, it appeared they were in an environment not so different from the one she had been raised in. She remembered the required tutoring sessions, the pressure, the expectations…

"Well, I think if _just this once_, we move the chalkboard in here and don't tell your mom, I also won't tell her about aaaallll of the cookies we're about to eat out of that jar in the kitchen."

Delphine giggled, coming back in with the bag, as the two children scrambled to the playroom faster than they had moved at anything all day.

* * *

><p>"Who's doing the deed anyway?" Sarah whispered to Marion, who looked around nervously to make sure nobody at the conference heard her. Luckily, Alison seemed to be pulling off Rachel well enough that the room full of investors, selected members of media, and CEOs didn't seem to notice.<p>

"I have someone on the inside, the less you know, the better. But Sarah, you have to understand when you find out who it is - I had to get someone who won't miss, and who we have the resources to get out of jail and back to us to protect. Don't worry. He won't actually take the fall. The gun has blanks with fake blood in the shells."

Just then the shooter stands up, yelling a clearly scripted, "You'll never get to play God! This woman is an abomination!" Before ripping off his mask, and firing two shots into Alison's chest. It was real enough for Mrs. S. and Felix to gasp from the side, running to Alison's aid unscripted.

"You chose Paul?" Sarah said, in shock as Paul was tackled to the ground by at least five security guards.

* * *

><p>Luckily for Cosima, the children's play chalkboard was the perfect height for someone in a wheelchair to start mapping things out in neon purple and green chalk, with Delphine pouring through the numbers in the folder, as all of the clone backgrounds had been compiled into a spreadsheet with values ascribed to each of the environmental factors that were tracked.<p>

"Okay, so we're going to do a word problem. A scenario, to see how math works in real life. Are we okay with that?"

"Yesh." Came the cookie-mouthed answer from the kids and Delphine, getting a slanted eyed look from Cosima.

"What? I like chocolate chip too. You know this." Delphine said simply, letting Cosima take the lead on the project.

"Fine. At least save me one. Okay team Hendricks, let's say that you're studying a group of people who are all just like each other."

"Like twins?" Gemma asks.

"Sure…let's say we have more though, let's say we have sextuplets. We've got let's say six sisters, but they were all separated at birth." Cosima starts prepping her story, making up a giant backstory to get the kids all excited.

In the meantime, Delphine also pulls out the folder with her _MONAD_ papers, and the old _DYAD_ write ups from Ethan Duncan that Greta had stolen for her. She had never actually taken the time to really look at it; she had either been too distracted with getting back to Cosima or was being interrupted. She pulled them out to flip through while Cosima continued, and she read while listening to the lesson in the background.

"So the first thing we do is assign _meaning_ to the values. If I use a 'one', then we know I mean this…sister and all of her numbers on her lifestyle factors."

Delphine kept reading.

_One: The Monad is the act of creation. To count to the number 'one' is the act of creation itself. It is to call into being something out of nothing._

The title page was followed by a few pages of what looked like a mathematical proof, with an equation key, and oddly enough, a page of what looked like scribbled music, but not a full sheet of music. There were sections of two or three bars, a chord, then a break with notes.

"Now, this sister here has exact opposite values." Cosima said, pointing to a second stick figure she had drawn in the corner. "One had everything that you have here, a nice home, lots of food, medicine when she was sick, but there is a catch. She's sick. And not like the flu. She's sick with something genetic, so you would think that her sisters have it too, right?" Cosima said, watching the kids nod, enthralled with the lesson.

"This brings us to sister two, so we'll call her 'two'. Got it? Whenever I write 'one', we're talking about the first sister. When I write 'two', we're talking about this other sister. Okay, so this other sister is supposed to be the same as her multiple, but she doesn't have the genetic disorder. So, we're going to assign numbers to a BUNCH of different things to calculate why, are you game?"

Delphine smiled at the eager children before flipping back through the documents.

_DYAD: two: the act of multiplicity. To count to the number two is to be fruitful and multiply. It is the only number than cannot exist without another number, two must be matched with 1.61803. Unlike one, to create two is not an act of force, but a labor of love_.

Delphine flipped through, and found more equations and more music notes. The blonde scientist was starting to put it together, enthralled in what she had managed to always carry around with her but never had truly read. She had all but blocked out everything in the background until Gemma snapped her back into place.

"But what if two _is_ sick, and all of the 'good' numbers were _too_ good, you know? Like these cookies are sooo good, but now I'm probably going to be sick later." Cosima laughed, while Delphine's head snapped to attention.

"Gemma, you are indeed a genius." Delphine said, getting a grin from the child. "Cosima, if the, um, sextuplets were supposed to get sick, wouldn't it make sense that the 'healthiest' ones would get the most sick? And the underfed children would grow up to not be healthy enough to carry the illness?"

"Holy shit." Cosima said, with her face falling.

"Cosima! Again?" Delphine scolded over the children, taking the opportunity to reach for more cookies.

* * *

><p>Author's note: Yes, that's TWO updates in two days! Consider it a Christmas present – and if you don't celebrate Christmas, you still got a present. Yeah, this is when this story is going to get super nerdy :p but I'm trying to keep my dork self under control. More Cophine to come!<p> 


	16. Unravelling

Chapter 16

When Sarah spotted Cosima from across the bar, she was already seated; a sure sign that Felix or Delphine or somebody had helped her there, since there was no wheelchair in sight.

"So…two clones walk into a bar." Sarah said, sitting across from her dreadlocked image, noticing the giant glass of scotch poured neat. "Not your usual choice."

"I've had a shit day." _And I don't know how much to tell you. _Cosima took a drink from the glass, waiting for Sarah to nod to the bartender, signaling for the same.

"Join the club." Sarah punned. It had been quite some time since they had been alone in a bar, remembering back when Cosima held all the answers. Now, they both had their individual pieces of information and a lot of exhaustion.

"So, Alison looked pretty banged up when she got back."

"Yeah, well apparently nobody bothered to tell the bloody soccer mom that when you fake being shot, you're supposed to fall backward, not forward into a podium. I heard she has a concussion."

"That makes a lot of sense, actually." Cosima thought back to the utter mess that Alison had walked in on, that had been ignored in favor of "mommy having a headache", and kicking Cosima and Delphine out with a polite thank you to have Donnie order a pizza.

"Sarah, what else happened? What has Marion told you?" Cosima asked, clearly showing information behind her eyes, but waiting to see what Sarah had first.

"Well, they still haven't gotten Paul out of jail. Some kind of hold up that their contact can't spring him until he's past booking, then the whole thing gets blamed on the Proletheans. I guess we made it convenient on them. Marilyn should be bloody thanking me that Rachel's dead. We handed them a free shot." Sarah said as her drink was put down in front of her.

"Yeah, no, that's—Sarah, I meant about us? Did anyone say anything…"Cosima looked at Sarah hopefully.

_How much do I tell you now?_ Ran through both of their minds.

Sarah looked at her sister. She couldn't keep things from her; especially if they could help her get better. But she also knew that Cosima had just as much of a tendency to act rashly, and she would probably be as angry as Sarah was when she found out.

"Cosima, I…where's Delphine?" Sarah sidetracked. If Cosima went flying off the handles, she would feel better with the doctor around to temper her.

"She's up in the loft with Felix, believe it or not. I'm supposed to call them when I want to come back up. I told her—I just, I needed some time to think, and then I called you. Sarah, what were you about to tell me?"

Sarah took another drink, gathering herself before pressing onward.

"I was told some things, alright?" Sarah paused, while Cosima continued to stare. "So all the project LEDA stuff was burned down, yeah? But apparently there are two potential donors—one of the two of them is the original."

"Whoa! Sarah! That's important. How long have you been sitting on this?" Cosima asked, not expecting that to come from Sarah.

"Only a couple of days. I was actually going to tell you when we had Alison here too, but then we had to pretend to kill her and everything-"

"Who is it?" Cosima interrupted, impatient.

Sarah looked over Cosima. She didn't look quite right. Sure, she was dressed, make-up on, much more energetic than a few days earlier, but she looked like if distress itself could pick out an outfit and walk around the streets unattended for a day.

"Cosima, what's going on? I was going to tell you, and now it's not fair that you know and Alison doesn't. What's really going on?"

"Who is it?" Cosima asked, getting a bit more aggressive. This wasn't the anger that Sarah was expecting; it was desperation.

"Cos, are you getting worse? What's this about?"

"Who? Who is the original?"

"It's either Marion or Siobhan. They both donated eggs. They don't know which of the two of them were chosen." Cosima sat back.

"It's both of them." Cosima answered, taking a drink from the glass.

"What?"

Cosima stayed silent, letting out a long exhale while holding up her glass to signal the need for a refill. Sarah waited patiently for the server to fill her back up before pressing for more.

"Cosima, what _the hell_ are you talking about?"

"Delphine and I figured it out today. Well, to be fair Alison's kids figured it out, which makes me question my entire graduate education." Cosima went back to sipping. Sarah noticed the little tendrils that usually tried to escape the starting point of Cosima's locks were especially wild at the moment, becoming slightly unraveled.

"What? You knew that there were two possible donors?"

"No. There are two donors period. We weren't cloned like regular clones. God, I can't believe I just said 'regular clones'. Like that's a normal thing to say." Cosima's hands were now involved in the conversation, mouth and hand gestures pausing for another drink.

"Sarah, we were made out of two sets of eggs, with some synthetic components from other biological materials. They were able to tag us and patent us because we are literally something they created."

"So when Helena says that Swan-man played God…"

"She hit the nail on the head."

"Holy Shite."

* * *

><p>Sarah was doing her best to help Cosima up the stairs to the loft, but dealing with an intoxicated sister who wasn't at full strength was testing even Sarah's physical abilities.<p>

Once they got to the top, they were surprised to see Delphine, sitting on the floor outside of the door, holding her phone.

"Cosima! I thought you were calling when you were ready."

Cosima suddenly felt very, very guilty. Sure, she had told them that she was going to call and not walk back by herself, but she didn't quite picture in her head Delphine, with her sad puppy eyes, literally waiting by the phone for her.

"I'm sorry." Cosima said quickly. "Let's go inside so we can talk-"

"Actually, that would not be wise." Delphine interrupted, standing up. "Felix is in there 'saying goodbye' to Frederick." Delphine use of finger quotes wasn't lost on Cosima.

"You mean they're…"

"Yes. It seems Frederick is using his newfound freedom from Rachel to find his sister. I gave them my contacts in Germany and all of the information I could." Cosima moved closer to the doorway before hearing Felix's signature grunting through the door.

"They're going to be awhile, it seems." Delphine said, looking back and forth between Cosima and Sarah. "I can call us a cab. We can all go back to my hotel suite."

"Actually, you guys go ahead. I told Mrs. S.-I mean, Sioban, our…whatever she is, that I wouldn't be out all night." Sarah said. "And just think about what I said, yeah?" Sarah said to Cosima, who nodded.

Delphine waited until Sarah was back down the stairs and she had called them a cab before asking any questions.

"What did she mean?" Delphine asked.

"She meant a lot of things. Sarah gave me some good advice, and some good ideas." Cosima leaned into Delphine, letting the blonde hold her up more than hug her. "It looks like the more heads we have working on this thing, the better. And she meant that I should be talking to you more."

"Like now?" Delphine asked, starting to move them back to the stairs.

"Like now. When I'm upset, or confused, or…when it gets scary. Like now."

* * *

><p>For all of Cosima's promises to talk about whatever was bothering her, she was unusually quiet on the way back to the suite.<p>

Delphine watched as her eyes darted around to the street while in the cab, looking at everything and nothing, pupils bouncing from place to place while signaling an internal dialogue. The doctor was used to be worried about Cosima, it had been a constant underlying emotion throughout their entire relationship, near and apart, but this was a manic behavior she had never seen, as Cosima jumped from fingernail to fingernail to chew.

When the got upstairs, she noticed Cosima bringing her purse with her to the bed, clinging to it as Delphine acted as her crutch to make it over to that side of the bedroom portion.

"Cosima…we've taken in a lot the last couple of days. Maybe just relax a little tonight?"

"Do I look like I can relax to you?" Cosima said, immediately regret the snap as soon as it left her lips. "Shit, Delphine I'm sorry. God, what is _wrong_ with me."

Delphine stayed quiet as Cosima opened the purse, pulling out a half-filled bottle of whiskey that she had clearly helped herself to at the bar.

"I left a good tip." Cosima explained, before opening the bottle. Cosima felt the bed next to her dip with Delphine sitting next to her, and braced herself for the scolding that was about to come.

Instead, the blonde put her arm around Cosima's back, using her free hand to take the bottle away so that she could take a swig herself.

"I hope it wasn't too good of a tip. This is terrible whiskey." Delphine said, still taking another drink from the bottle before handing it back. She didn't need to ask Cosima again what was bothering her; she would let Cosima open up when she was ready. The just-about-drunk clone played with the label, using her thumb to scrap little bits of it off of the bottle, carelessly flicking it to the floor, lost in a train of thought.

Delphine waiting patiently, peppering her shoulder and cheek with kisses.

"I don't know what I am anymore, Delphine." She said, looking off at nothing in particular again. "I was okay with being a clone. It was actually kind of exciting. I _get_ that; it's still basic human biology, just made in a particular way. I don't get this. I'm made of two eggs and some synthetic material and who knows what else."

Cosima paused for a swig before continuing. Delphine listened, resolving herself to stay silent until Cosima had poured it all out for her.

"When I was just a clone, I at least knew what I was. I was still a human being. Now, I don't know if I am. What if I'm different? What if that biological material mash-up created something different? What if the way I see and feel things isn't how everyone else experiences it? I don't even know if my senses work the same as everyone elses. That's something I've been taking for granted. I don't know if my feelings work like—a non-lab rat person. I don't know what I am, or what to even call it."

Delphine had been rubbing circles on the woman's back, soothing her, as she was learning that the information they had gathered in the last couple of days had been much more upsetting to the clone than even learning she was sick. Illness Cosima could understand; she was a scientist, and she was in a body. This was being faced with not understanding that same body, and it was tearing her up with uncertainty.

"Cosima." Delphine said, putting her hand on a soft cheek, feeling how it was quivering. "Cosima, I don't care if you were made from the parts of ten chickens and a goat. You are absolutely, one-hundred percent a human being. And I know that you feel things the way everyone else does." Cosima tried to look away, feeling a bit like she was being patronized.

"You don't _know_ that."

"Cosima, I've seen your blood, your tissue samples, even your body…everything about you absolutely came out human. They just figured out a different recipe, let's say, for your batch of sisters." Cosima tried to pull away from Delphine's gaze, so instead Delphine hopped up, kneeling on the floor in front of Cosima, taking both of her hands.

"I know you feel things like I do. I can see it when you look at me." Delphine paused, waiting for Cosima's gaze to meet hers. "Cosima," Delphine stopped, shifting upwards a bit to put Cosima's hand directly over her heart, "do you feel me?"

Cosima still looked terrified but nodded. Delphine used on hand to keep Cosima's over her heart, moving her other to cover above Cosima's left breast.

"And when we kiss, do you feel this? Our hearts beating? The breath?"

"But what if it's not what I'm supposed to-"

"It _is_. You feel everything too. That's what love feels like. And if you can feel this, what makes you think anything else is different?" Delphine wiggled her way between Cosima's legs, still kneeling on the floor, seeing Cosima putting forth her best effort not to cry. She moved both of her hands to Cosima's cheeks.

"Do you feel my hands?" Cosima nodded, looking like she was about to break. "I _know_ that you feel everything the way I do. I've touched inside of you, Cosima. I've tasted you; I've listened to you breath while you sleep. I know every inch of you. You are absolutely a human being." Delphine climbed onto Cosima's lap, pulling the clone's face into her chest, caressing her neck in between sobs.

"I think—I," Cosima stuttered, pulling back a bit to wipe away a tear from behind her glasses. "I think that I used to push you away when I got scared because I couldn't really believe that you loved me. I didn't believe that you were able to feel what I felt." Cosima said, taking deep choking breaths. Delphine touched her with her hands and her kisses everywhere she could, on her forehead, her cheeks, her ears.

"I do. _You_, Cosima. I love you. However you got here, I need you here."

Delphine resolved that she had to find a way to lighten the emotional load on Cosima. The woman was quite possibly near her breaking point, and she didn't want to see Cosima sick and emotionally unraveling any more than she already had. She held Cosima close, trying to think of ways to keep working on the illness without overloading Cosima with any more information, if there even was any more.

"There's more. Sarah said-" Cosima started.

"Shhh." Delphine answered. "That's enough for tonight. Let's just leave everything else for tomorrow, okay?" Delphine said, giving Cosima kiss. "It's not like our lives are getting any easier. The big issues will still be there in the morning." Delphine said, waiting for Cosima to nod, still feeling like a bundle of nerves underneath the doctor's touch.

* * *

><p><em>Author's Note: Happy New Year! Let's kick this off with another cliffhangerchapter cut off! Seriously though, I know I'm not the best with answering reviews. I'm generally quite reserved, but I do read each and every review, and I find suggestions/telling me what you liked/what you think is very helpful and appreciated. Also, my stuff is not beta'd, so I appreciate the patience with mistakes. You guys are the best!_


	17. Nobody Likes Surprises

Chapter 17

Delphine watched carefully the next morning as Cosima dressed herself. She watched as the clone stood up on her own, a good sign. Then she watched the woman putting on item after item, barely paying attention to her own hands dressing herself as she watched.

Cosima knew that Delphine had been _so_ afraid to touch her the evening before, but it was what she needed. Delphine was afraid of exhausting her, perhaps of waking up again with a girlfriend who couldn't move at all. Every touch was feather light, a compromise between Delphine's continuing fears and Cosima's need to feel normal, human even.

For all of Delphine's fears, she still had touched the clone in every human way possible, going especially slowly. Cosima had needed the touch to feel real again, she needed the reassurance, the grounding that came from connecting with another human being, from the skin-on-skin contact that made her forget everything else.

Delphine watched Cosima seemingly acting normal, stronger than a week ago, weaker than a year ago, seemingly more put-together than she had been the night before. She wasn't going to just wait around for Cosima to finally snap. Cosima needed to feel _normal_, as much as possible.

"We should do something today." The blonde suggested out of the blue.

"You mean…not go to work?" Cosima asked, looking at Delphine as though she had just suggested throwing a city-wide parade on a whim. The clone was, of course, fully aware that technically DYAD work wasn't her job anymore, but she had still treated it as such. Otherwise, in her head, she was just a woman with deteriorating health who was obsessed with her own biology.

"_Oui_. We are in this city, you and I, and neither of us are from this city. Have you already made all of the tourist stops? Isn't there sight-seeing?" Cosima continued looking at Delphine to the point where the doctor needed to check and made sure she only had one head. Delphine walked over to the shorter woman, putting her hands on her cheeks.

"Cosima, isn't there anything you've always wanted to do? We should do it."

"You're treating me like I'm about to die." Cosima answered, registering what she thought was going on.

"No. I'm treating you like we're still very much alive, and we should live like that. The research will still be there tomorrow-"

Delphine was interrupted by a knock at the door. She went to answer, letting Cosima continue moving through the suite to get ready. Cosima heard a muffled conversation by the door, only catching Delphine's side of it.

"I'm sorry, but I don't…you're? Uhhh…"

"Cosima!"

Cosima turned around to see the last face she had expected to come marching into her girlfriend's hotel suite.

"Mom?"

* * *

><p>Cosima was grateful that the coffee shop that the three of them had chosen had a fireplace right next to their table. It gave her something to look at as a distraction, instead of just looking at her mother awkwardly. Cosima wasn't buying that the woman had hopped on a plane and flew from California to Ontario, Canada just to "check up" on her after their last conversation. She knew when her mother was up to something, mainly because her mother first, was always up to something and second, never greet Cosima without chastising her for her appearance, and then complaining about wherever they were going.<p>

"So Delphine, is it? You have your Ph. D.?"

Delphine smiled, more than a little nervous. She had heard all about Cosima's mother, and none of what had been relayed to her had been good. Still, she knew that even if Cosima never spoke to her mother again, this was still an audition. She had to at least _try_ to charm this woman.

"Yes. Well, technically it's called Sc. D. in the sciences, but everyone just says Ph. D.-"

Delphine was beginning to get used to being interrupted.

"Mom, seriously, what's going on?" Cosima said, somehow managing to be timid and irritated at the same time.

"Well, there seems to be a lot going on, don't you think?"

"I thought Dad was the politician. Can't you give me a straight answer?"

"Cosima, it's alright." Delphine interjected. "I don't mind." Delphine flashed her best 'please love me' smile back to the woman with the tightest bun she had ever seen situated on top of a head.

"I do. Mom, what are you really doing here?" Cosima asked, staring at the older woman who looked nothing like her, with contempt and accusations shooting from her eyes.

The older woman, who had arrived in her casual clothes, meaning still having a pressed pair of khakis and a full face of make-up, took a breath before answering. Cosima was never one to just go along with whatever was suggested, and she knew Cosima would not stop pestering her until she gave some answers.

"Cosima, I am here to see you. I know that our last outing ended poorly, but I do care about you. Look, we know you're not still at the University."

Cosima couldn't even pretend to be surprised. Given her parents previous intrusions in her life, she had half expected to always be tailed by a bodyguard of some sort, reporting back to her father's office. The fact that she had been away for so long and they hadn't said anything gave her the false sense that she was in the clear.

"After we had dinner in Minnesota, we tried to find your department on campus the next day, where we were promptly informed that you were not enrolled. Imagine our surprise."

Cosima looked at her mother through slanted eyes, biting her own tongue. The woman didn't sound accusatory, like she normally did. She almost sounded…well, Cosima couldn't quite put her finger on it.

"Naturally, I feel better knowing that this Delphine woman is not the reason why you dropped out of graduate school, unless she is." Mrs. Neihaus shot Delphine up a look, her very first 'you're dating my daughter' staredown.

"No! Not at all, Mrs. Neihaus. I would very much like for Cosima to finish her degree one day, if that's what she wants. Actually, I came here to Toronto for her, not the other way around."

"Delphine, you don't have to explain this all to her." Cosima said, putting her hand on Delphine's. Her mother's wince at the action wasn't lost, but the woman kept her mouth closed. "Mom, I left because I was sick."

"What?" Cosima gauged the woman's reaction. She seemed to genuinely have no idea. "How sick?"

"I—it's not that bad, I just thought a little recovery time away from doctoral stress was a good idea. I'm getting better."

"You could have come home, Cosima. You still have a room. You technically still have four of them."

"Actually, I may have something to do with that." Delphine looked at Cosima, who gave a nervous nod to allow Delphine to continue. "My job here lets us have access to lab equipment. Cosima has a rare auto-immune disorder that affects her lungs, but we are working on curing it with our resources here."

"Cosima, it's like I don't even know you. You didn't tell us you were leaving school, you didn't tell us you were sick, we didn't even know you were seeing someone, well, you never tell us when you're seeing someone."

Cosima recounted everything Alison had told her about her mother's reaction to Cosima's relationship with Delphine, feeling her old repressed anger at the woman bubble up.

"Well I wonder why! I never say anything because you're never supportive." Cosima shot out, making Delphine as uncomfortable as possible.

To Cosima's surprise, Mrs. Neihaus did not fire anything back. She didn't even shoot over a condescending look, like she usually did in public, although refraining from the latter appeared to take some effort on her part.

"I think that if you are ill, taking time off from school is a good decision. And, I want you to feel like you can tell us when something is going on. It was not right for me to have behaved the way I did at the restaurant. We were in public, and it was improper. I just don't do well with surprises." Mrs Neihaus looked up to see the two younger women staring at her with their eyebrows up in surprise.

"And Delphine?" Cosima pushed, seeing how far she could take this.

"Well, that's who I'm here to get to know." Delphine smiled at Cosima's mother, who simply nodded back.

* * *

><p>Cosima was just starting to relax. They had been casually chatting for forty-five minutes, or at least that was the appearance of what was going on. Cosima also knew that her mother had asked Delphine what felt like no less than seven million questions, with very little directed at Cosima herself.<p>

Delphine, to her credit, answered everything like a champ. Cosima was enthralled not only with Delphine's ability to bend the truth to leave out everything clone related, but then doctor everything up to make her answers parent friendly. Delphine was also showing that she was indeed a good person, with an acceptable upbringing, as Mrs. Neihaus had been watching the woman's manners closely, seemingly pleased with how the blonde doctor spoke and acted.

"So, Delphine, do you live around here?"

"Actually, at the moment I am in the hotel. That was my suite you came to this morning." The half-smile that had begun to form on Mrs. Neihaus' face immediately fell.

"No! God, Mom, whatever you're thinking, no. She was in Germany for awhile on business and only just got back. We haven't found a place for her yet. She gave up her old apartment when she left."

Mrs. Neihaus visibly relaxed. Well, relaxed just about as much as Cosima had ever seen her relax.

"Right. Is immunology a big field in the EU?" She asked, picking at her scone bit by bit.

"Actually, yes. There is a lot of advanced research going on in Germany. But I…" Delphine put her hand on Cosima's, ignoring the older woman's flinch, "I could not stay away from Cosima for long. It was only a temporary move from the start."

Mrs. Neihaus looked back and forth between the two women, looking like she was running equations in her head.

"So Delphine," Cosima couldn't help but roll her eyes. She thought they had just finished the third degree, but apparently not even close by Neihaus standards, "What do your parents do? Are they back in France?"

"Actually, they are in Montreal."

"What?" Cosima asked. _How did I not know that Delphine's parents were within driving distance in the same country?_

"Yes, they moved over here a few years ago with some of my siblings. My father is an engineer, and there are more opportunities here, but he takes jobs all over the world."

Cosima sat with her jaw slack. She had just assumed that since Delphine was French, and had only been out of France for a few years, that Delphine's family was still there.

"So I should take it to mean that your father works at Cormier Industries?" Mrs. Neihaus asked in a not-so-subtle way. She couldn't remember actually telling her Delphine's last name, unless that came from Alison...or unless her mother had done some digging before getting on that allegedly impromptu flight.

"No." Delphine laughed. "He _is_ Cormier Industries. He picked a company name to make it sound much larger, but it's really just him drawing up plans and then my brothers build whatever is needed. I guess you could say he is the CEO, not that my little brothers are much competition."

_Brothers?_ Cosima thought, _as in plural? As in multiple siblings I have never heard about? _

"I hear it's a good business." Mrs. Neihaus said, seemingly pleased with all of Delphine's answers. Why she seemed pleased was lost on Cosima, but she was going to go with it for the time being.

"I hear it is as well. Of course, I don't see them very often, but I suppose everything is still going well. I am afraid that if you have engineering questions, I will have to direct you to my family. Much to their dismay I was always much better with biology than physics."

Cosima's mother nodded politely, signaling the end of the third degree.

What Delphine immediately understood, but Cosima still appeared clueless to, was that Delphine's pedigree was just proven to Mrs. Neihaus. Delphine hoped in her head that Mrs. Neihaus dropped the questions about Cormier Industries, having buffered as much about her family from Cosima as she could.

"Well, I have to say Delphine, you are absolutely a delight to have around. I have a question for you both."

Cosima and Delphine leaned in, waiting for the woman to dramatically take the last sip of her second coffee before continuing.

"Your father and I would like you both to give us a photo of you two for our annual newsletter for the Northern California Republicans convention. Of course, Cosima, I am assuming after our last encounter that you are indeed out about your relationship. We would like to include it with the usual photo of the three of us together."

* * *

><p>Delphine had had about enough of surprises for the day. When she had suggested that Cosima spend the day with her, she certainly wasn't expecting Cosima's mother to show up, nor was she expecting the bombshell of her mother dropping what the blonde thought was a fairly innocuous offer to take a picture of the couple, to which Delphine had assured Mrs. Neihaus they would think about it before Cosima could explode with whatever it was that she looked like she was about to verbally spew.<p>

Naturally, when Sarah had asked Delphine to meet up with her without Cosima, she had immediately said yes. However, when the time came, she couldn't bring herself to separate from the woman she had spend so much time apart from. She hoped Sarah would understand when she showed up at Felix's loft with Cosima in tow.

"Oh good, Delphine—oy! Cosima's here…" Sarah said, pulling open the loft door, clearly surprised that the doctor had chosen not to come alone.

"Sorry, limey, we're a packaged deal. You call for one of us, you get the two for one special." The bite in Cosima's tone wasn't lost on Sarah.

"Oh good, everybody still loves each other." Felix quipped from the kitchenette, clearly pouring a drink for only himself.

"I want to know why you were meeting with Delphine behind my back."

"Cos, I'm not trying to sneak around you, alright? I just had some ideas that I wanted to run past the doc and it's easier with someone who…I dunno, isn't one of us."

"It's alright Sarah. I understand. But I'm not willing to leave Cosima right now. You two met without me for a couple of hours and I spent the entire time looking at my phone in a never ending anxiety attack wondering if anyone's been kidnapped." Delphine said gently, hoping to calm everyone down.

"Let's have it. What's the big secret that you didn't want me here for?" Cosima threw herself dramatically onto the couch, ignoring Felix's last two outfits sitting on the arms. It was obvious that with Cosima spending so much time at Delphine's suite that the man had went back to dressing and undressing in the living area, throwing things over his shoulder as he pleased.

"Cosima, I'm not keeping a secret, I just had an idea. It might be complete bullocks that came from my fucked up head, so just hear me out here." Delphine and Sarah both sat down. Felix raised his eyebrows from the kitchen, not expecting the conversation to tone back down to civilized so quickly.

"So I don't have symptoms of the clone disease, right? But how do we know that I don't have growths in my uterus? It's not like I have had regular gyno check ups…Kira practically slid out after exactly two prenatal checks, both of which were at free clinics."

"Oh Sarah, you're worried about getting sick? I thought we shared everything with you. If our theory on environmental factors is correct, you probably wouldn't start developing anything this late. Although, I suppose technically nothing can be ruled out." Delphine started to explain.

"No, I'm not worried about getting sick, or at least I wasn't until you said that doc, so thanks for that. I meant, we were supposed to grow whatever cells we needed to heal in our uteruses, right? What if I have them? I don't go to the doctor, I have no idea what's cooking in there. Don't you think it's interested that Kira never gets sick and heals like Wonder Woman?"

Everybody in the room paused to think the theory over.

"It's possible." Cosima said, breaking the silence. "Maybe you grew the cells the way we were all supposed to. We already know the reason my growths are out of control is because they were like super-fed nutrition by cell standards."

"Sarah, you have to know…for us to test this theory, there would be a fair amount of prodecures involved. You'd have to have a regular exam, then a sonogram of the uterus, then if we saw anything, a biopsy, then there's the matter of figuring out what to do with the cells if you are growing them-"

"Do it." Sarah said quickly, shoving her thumbnail into her mouth immediately afterward.

"What? Sarah did you just hear what she said? I still might be able to kick this thing on my own, remember? Not automatic death?" Cosima put her hand on Sarah's arm, pulling it away from the British woman's mouth.

"I would've bought that defense, Cos, before you spent a week in a wheelchair." Sarah looked back at Delphine with determination written on her face. Clearly, she had already decided she was exploring this option. Cosima understood now why Sarah didn't want her there for this particular meeting. Whether or not Cosima agreed, Sarah was going to find a way to look into her theory, and she could only estimate that her sister planned on recruiting Delphine.

"Okay." Delphine answered without looking at Cosima. She didn't want to have to deal with whatever protesting face Cosima might be making at that moment. "I'll see if Marion has a gynecologist at DYAD here who might be familiar with the clones so we can be discrete."

"I want you to do it." Sarah said, also avoiding Cosima's gaze.

"Whoa. Whoa! Okay, did you just ask my girlfriend to be your gyno?" Cosima said, not willing to be ignored any longer.

"Not exactly." Sarah finally turned to meet Cosima's face, which was bearing an expression that she couldn't quite read. "We have to look at this as a possibility, yeah? And I'd rather it be someone we trust instead of bringing someone in from the outside. Believe me, shoving your girlfriend in my twat is the last thing I woke up wanting to do today but it's not like we have a lot of options."

"Well I see I wasn't even considered. I'll have you know that Operation was my very best game in grade school. It's a terrible shame to waste the talent that is these hands." Felix said, joining the women in the sitting area.

"See? Felix is still an option." Cosima pleaded.

"Cosima, I can do it." Delphine said, making what Cosima was sure was her worst nightmare coming true.

"Can we just skip the vaginal exam at least? C'mon. I mean dying is starting to sound a lot more appealing these days."

"Don't even joke about that." Delphine said. "And no, we would still have to take a regular pap smear. Sarah, I understand your reasoning, but I'm not a gynecologist."

"I'm not looking for birth control and a check-up, Delphine, do you think I like asking for this?" Sarah said, starting to dislike her idea.

"No, no I understand. And I think rationally, you might be right. I can do it." Delphine silenced what was about to be another outburst from Cosima by holding up one single finger, an effective action that caused Felix to chuckle.

"Well, somebody's got Cos trained." He added, ignoring the stare that followed.

"Fine." Cosima said, still giving Felix a side-eyed look. "But I want to be there. Sarah, you're not taking off your pants in a room with my girlfriend without…supervision."

Delphine and Sarah collectively rolled their eyes. They knew that would be about as close to agreement as they would get Cosima to go.


	18. Under the Microscope

_**Author's Note**: SO, SO, SORRY about how long it's been! I've been having major computer troubles that are interrupting my life, and obviously this fic. I just pumped this one out on a borrowed lappy. I hope to have mine back and all fixed up soon, so just keep in mind that this story is NOT abandoned! Once I have working tech we're full steam ahead!_

* * *

><p>Chapter 18<p>

The first several minutes in the examination room, conveniently housed in Marion's mansion that could better be described as a compound, were spent in complete awkward silence and a knowing lack of eye contact. That, at least, was true of Delphine and Sarah. Delphine was in her full medical scrubs, complete with mask, Sarah being the ever-cooperative patient, even in the stirrups.

Cosima, on the other hand, couldn't contain her nervous babble.

"Yes, I hear you _say_ that it's okay that I told my mother no, but I don't feel like you _mean _it."

"Cosima, I promise you that it is your decision, and I am okay with you saying no. It's just a picture. I have already said this eight times to you today. I think that you _want_ me to not be okay with it for some reason."

"Well, doesn't that sound fishy to you? This woman who apparently lost it when Alison came out to her for me suddenly wants us together, in photographic public evidence, circulating throughout the State of California? And what's with the whole asking about your family's business?"

"Cosima, now is not the time for that discussion. If you don't want to do the picture, fine. If you do, I will do it with you. It's not something to lose sleep over."

"Well, I'm not the one who was tossing and turning all night. Clearly you're lose sleep over something."

"Oy! Can you two save the lovers' quarrelling for a time when I'm not in a hospital gown? Cosima, I need her concentrating on what's going on." Sarah chimed in, just about having enough of the bickering.

Delphine lined up the various slides she would be putting samples on, each lining up in front of a different solution so she could test for as many different cell variations as possible. She was going to check for everything she could in one swoop, hoping to avoid having to go through this awkwardness ever again.

"I bet I could help!" Felix shouted through the door.

"No!" Everyone yelled simultaneously.

"Felix, you're still a boy. While I do love that about you, we've been over this." Cosima shouted back.

"But not really, just sort of. And we wear the same eyeliner. That should count for something." The room heard come back muffled through the door, before the telltale slump of Felix sliding down the door to sit.

"Do…we look the same?" Sarah couldn't help but ask, regretting it the moment the question left her mouth. Seeing Cosima tense at her side confirmed that it was an inappropriate question, but that reality didn't stop the sudden need she had to know the answer.

"Hmmm?" Delphine asked, not bothering to look up as she set sample three of ten onto a slide, dropping a solution onto it.

"You know, down there." Sarah couldn't help herself.

Delphine looked up, looking at Sarah's genuine curiosity, and Cosima's face, which sent a very clear message that said 'you better figure out an appropriate answer to that'.

"I am not looking like that. This is medical." Cosima nodded her approval. Delphine had indeed found the appropriate answer, and quickly.

"Yeah I didn't ask if you wanted a lick, thanks. I just meant like cosmetically."

"Damnit, Sarah. We were almost past this being weird." Cosima shot out.

"You're the one who insisted on being here." Sarah said back.

"No." Delphine said, getting both women's attention.

"No what?" Cosima asked.

"No, they are not the same."

"Seriously, and you think it would be weird for me to be in there?" Came the shout from the closed door.

"Shut it, Fe!" Sarah shouted louder than necessary.

"Seriously?" Cosime couldn't help but ask.

"Seriously." Delphine answered, keeping her attention on having steady hands for the samples. "They do not look the same. I guess the environmental factors really do affect biology. It should not be a surprise, you're aware that you have different bra sizes. Not that I'm looking at that, Sarah, Cosima is the one who told me. But they are quite different." Delphine continued nonchalantly.

"Wait, what's that mean? Is it normal down there? What's going on?" Sarah asked, shifting a bit to sit up and look down.

"I did not say abnormal, simply that they are different. And again, I'm not a gynecologist. It's not like I look at women's body parts all the time. But I didn't say that it is bad. Just not exactly the same."

"Well, it is bad. That one is very, very bad. I second the no licking rule." Cosima huffed out, crossing her arms.

"I am not attracted to her, Cosima. Just you." Delphine said, starting to lose patience. Although if she were being honest, she had been expecting an outright tantrum from Cosima, not the choice to merely be a passive-aggressive presence.

"Aww, that's sweet. And also something sickening I don't need to hear with my knickers off with you two in the room."

"Well, it's a valid concern, Sarah. We were both made out of whatever those sick assholes mixed together to make people out of, you'd think we'd be identical. And don't tell me you've never had a concern for a moment that if Cal is attracted to you that he couldn't also be attracted to any one of the however-many-there-are of us."

"No, I can honestly say I've never had that concern. C'mon. We're barely alike. Clearly even less alike than we would've thought, biologically or personality." Sarah seemed to be calming down as Delphine finished up the slides.

"Cosima." Delphine said gently, but firmly. "I am not attracted to her. I'm not even attracted to other women besides you. No offense to you." She said, motioning to Sarah.

"None taken. Hey, wait a minute, some taken. What's wrong with mine that you're not attracted to it? Is something off? What's so special about hers? What's wrong with mine?"

"Yes, there is plenty wrong with yours." Cosima started to explain. "First, it's not mine. Second, yours isn't gay. Third, yours is off limits, so stop trying to be a temptress, damnit."

Delphine rolled her eyes, starting to get a headache.

"If the two of you can't behave, I'm going to let Felix do the ultrasound."

"I can do it! I brought my own lube." They heard shouted back through the door. To which everyone collectively sighed.

"Here. You can put these on for the ultrasound."

"See, it's so bad she wants you to put those back on."

"Cosima…" Delphine started threateningly, until she had Cosima's attention. "You are very close to me not wanting yours either." Delphine visibly watched Cosima shut her lips tightly together.

"What are you doing?" Sarah asked, watching Delphine put a medium-sized bottle in what looked like a hot pot.

"Warming up the gel."

"It would be nice if you did that for me once in awhile." Cosima said, knowing it was a mistake the minute it came out of her mouth.

* * *

><p>"Let us in! C'mon, this can't possibly be taking this long." Cosima shouted from her new seat outside of the exam room, on the floor next to Felix.<p>

"Ignore them." Delphine said. "Sarah, I do not want to alarm you, so I will start with the good news: you do not have any growths."

Sarah let out a breath that she hadn't realized she had been holding in the first place. The gel on her lower abdomen was uncomfortable, but she was glad it wasn't at least cold.

"Alright…then why does it sound like you have bad news?"

"I do not have bad news, necessarily. But I do see something strange. The walls of the uterus look very thick to me. It's noticeable. She how dark and thick this outline is on the monitor here? It could just be the way your organs have always been. I'll know for sure if there is anything going on once I can get those slides under a microscope."

"Yeah, okay. I guess then we'll know for sure. And thanks, for, you know…"

"You are welcome. And I will apologize for my rabid girlfriend, even if it is endearing on some level."

"Yes, I'm endearing. Adorable, even. Can I come back in now? Are you really going to start the slides without me?" Came the feminine voice whining through the door.

"Not me!" Shouted Felix. "I have no interest in retaking year nine biology class. I'm going home. There's clearly no cocktail bar in this version of playing doctor. Which is a pity, might I add."

Delphine ignored the comments, waiting until Sarah was fully dressed and until she had a nod of approval before opening the door to let Cosima in, exiting herself.

"Finally. Can we look at the cells now?" Cosima said, stomping in as though she were entering her own lab, and had not just been put in a time-out by her own girlfriend. She immediately grabbed a slide that was blue-stained, sticking it under a microscope without actually waiting for permission.

"Yes, they should be about ready. Unless you'd like me to go over how they are so much different, and how your cells are much better, so I can remind you again how I'm only attracted to your cells-"

"Okay all of that is fair, but right now you need to look at this." Cosima said, motioning for Delphine to come over while still looking through the eye scopes.

"What?" Delphine asked as Cosima all but shoved her in front of the scope to have a peek.

"They're…they're regular cells. And…"

"Yes. And stem cells. An undifferentiated reserve." Cosima said excitedly.

"It worked. The whole clone experiment. She has the cell reserve." Delphine said, eyes wide as she looked back over at Cosima. Delphine's hand went up to hold her forehead, not having expected what they just discovered. The blonde was barely starting to process what it all meant if the clone experiment was a successful reality, and not just science for science's sake.

"Delphine, if that was just from a pap, she must be loaded, you know, internally." Cosima was lighting up in excitement more than she had in weeks over something scientific.

"That could be why her uterus appears to be thick. It could be an entire layer of reserve cells, waiting to either activate as needed or to be harvested."

"We have to go tell her!"

"Cosima, wait." Delphine grabbed her arm, pulling her back from her lunge towards the door.

"We should tell her and Felix privately. Of course, we're going to see if we can use them for you and Charlotte, but we don't know whom to trust. This kind of a cell reserve could be dangerous for her, if the wrong people found out about it."

"Don't you think she deserves to know now? It's her body."

"Of course she deserves to know, but we need to make sure she is safe. Think about the ramifications of this, Cosima. Mrs. Sadler was worried about children being used for underground organ trafficking, no? Think about what could happen to someone biologically built like this." Delphine whispered, suddenly remember they were not in their own lab.

* * *

><p>Felix walked up the stairs to his apartment, thinking about how he should have invited Cosima and Delphine back after they were done with science for the day. He didn't want to have to admit the words out loud to anyone, but he missed having Cosima around. He hoped that once Delphine was somewhere permanent and not a hotel suite that Cosima would still live with him. He had gotten so used to always having someone around that he frequently started to feel lonely, which his current situation only allowed him to drink away.<p>

In fact, what Felix was going to make as a drink was Felix's only concentrated thought as he took out his keys, before noticing that his door wasn't locked.

"Felix! Don't come in!"

Felix heard the shout from inside of his apartment as he had begun opening the door anyway, immediately grinning as he recognized the voice.

"Frederick? You're back!" Felix said, continuing to throw the door open to find Frederick tied to a chair. He looked roughed up, not bleeding from anywhere, but there had definitely been a struggle.

It was only about a second before Felix registered the cold steel of a gun barrel being pressed to his temple from the side.

"What the hell?" Felix said, immediately putting his hands up in surrender.

"Felix, meet my sister, Greta. Who I swear wasn't a complete fucking psychopath before she was shipped to Germany." Frederick said, the venom in his voice clear.

"Pleased to meet you, Felix. Have a seat. And if you're a good boy and tell me where Sarah is, nobody gets hurt."


End file.
